[Trace14]

trauma, abuse , neglect? Do you think when a baby stops breathing they remember it or it scares them? Do they know to fear at that age?

[Amyjay]

The earliest abuse I can actually recall is at 3 years old but since I was abused for the rest of my life I doubt very much they were non-abusive parents until I hit the "abusable" age of 3.

[MtnTime2896]

I don't have the greatest memories but according to others, a lot of things were happening way before my memory could kick in. Earliest age I do remember abuse, I think I was around four or five, but it's so blurry and far away I can't tell. For certain I remember things at six and later.

I think babies can understand enough to know that it's bad. It taps into primitive instinct and therefore a baby can learn from it, even if the memory escapes through the gaps of time.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Trace14

trauma, abuse , neglect? Do you think when a baby stops breathing they remember it or it scares them? Do they know to fear at that age?

I don't think young babies "know" fear because I don't think young babies are developmentally capable of "knowing". But young babies can certainly experience the physiological arousal of fear. And because their brain (neural pathways/personality/sense of self) is developing so rapidly in that period of life the physiological state of fear will become a part of their being.
Which gives a totally different experience to PTSD (where a person's personality has changed from the pre-trauma "normal" state) whereas in complex PTSD there is no separate pre-trauma "self" because the neural pathways/personality/sense of self has developed to accommodate ongoing trauma.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I don't think young babies "know" fear because I don't think young babies are developmentally capable of "knowing". But young babies can certainly experience the physiological arousal of fear. And because their brain (neural pathways/personality/sense of self) is developing so rapidly in that period of life the physiological state of fear will become a part of their being.
Which gives a totally different experience to PTSD (where a person's personality has changed from the pre-trauma "normal" state) whereas in complex PTSD there is no separate pre-trauma "self" because the neural pathways/personality/sense of self has developed to accommodate ongoing trauma.

Okay thanks.

[Wild Coyote]

*********** Possible Trigger************


I remember trauma since I was 2 or three years of age. it was ongoing and I cringe at a;; I must have seen/heard when even younger. Major traumas had continued throughout my life; yet were most intensive years 0-28 y.o.

Possible trigger:

My last major trauma was just four years ago, with an unexpected sudden attack/assault in broad daylight. it was an unprovoked attack from behind. I'd sustained a traumatic brain injury and whiplash.

My early experience with trauma made me an excellent employee in emergency services for awhile, followed by burn-out.


WC

[reb569]

I don't have complete memories of abuse prior to age 5 or 6, but I have a lot of fragmented memories that I am not sure where or when they came from.

Possible trigger:

In kindergarten, during a show-and-tell in the classroom, we had already gone around the circle, with everyone taking part, except for me. The teacher was irritated with me because when it had been my turn I had nothing to show or say, so she came back to me and asked me again. She chastised me for not being prepared. So I looked up at her, looked her right in the eye and said, "My daddy beat up my mommy last night." She (the teacher) got flustered, my classmates looked at me like I had a horn growing out of the middle of my forehead. This was the day I realized my family was not normal.

I do believe that babies who are raised in abusive environments are impacted by that abuse for sure. They might not remember it, but it impacts them through being hard to console, showing anxiety. So many ways.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

*********** Possible Trigger************


I remember trauma since I was 2 or three years of age. it was ongoing and I cringe at a;; I must have seen/heard when even younger. Major traumas had continued throughout my life; yet were most intensive years 0-28 y.o.

Possible trigger:

My last major trauma was just four years ago, with an unexpected sudden attack/assault in broad daylight. it was an unprovoked attack from behind. I'd sustained a traumatic brain injury and whiplash.

My early experience with trauma made me an excellent employee in emergency services for awhile, followed by burn-out.


WC

2 or 3 is terribly young, but I know it happens . We both have seen it in our jobs. So sad.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I don't have complete memories of abuse prior to age 5 or 6, but I have a lot of fragmented memories that I am not sure where or when they came from.

Possible trigger:

In kindergarten, during a show-and-tell in the classroom, we had already gone around the circle, with everyone taking part, except for me. The teacher was irritated with me because when it had been my turn I had nothing to show or say, so she came back to me and asked me again. She chastised me for not being prepared. So I looked up at her, looked her right in the eye and said, "My daddy beat up my mommy last night." She (the teacher) got flustered, my classmates looked at me like I had a horn growing out of the middle of my forehead. This was the day I realized my family was not normal.

I do believe that babies who are raised in abusive environments are impacted by that abuse for sure. They might not remember it, but it impacts them through being hard to console, showing anxiety. So many ways.

That would have been hard. So you are saying there are tell tale signs that will show up in children later, if they live in an abusive environment prior to knowing good from bad, hurt from love, etc?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Trace14

2 or 3 is terribly young, but I know it happens . We both have seen it in our jobs. So sad.

I've talked this over with my pdoc. The presence of high cortisol (stress hormone) can make events more memorable and, often, more vivid as well.

It's shocking to go back over some events with my mother as we figure out my age at the time. I readily recall much more than she does and we were both in the room. She has repeatedly confirmed my age being so young.

Yes, it is sad.
Thanks, Trace.

WC

[Ziza]

I can describe very specific memories as young as 32 months but they aren't bad. I don't remember ever not being afraid of my father, that fear led to lots of unhealthy coping mechanisms that no child should have to do. For years I had an excellent memory with details, but as stress took its toll on my brain, my memory and cognitive skills have suffered.

[reb569]

Originally Posted by Trace14

That would have been hard. So you are saying there are tell tale signs that will show up in children later, if they live in an abusive environment prior to knowing good from bad, hurt from love, etc?

Yes, I think so. Granted I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure this was covered in one of my psych classes in college (30 + years ago) and it just seems to make sense.

Possible trigger:

When I worked in daycare, we had a 3 year old that was very hyperactive, very anxious, overall behavior issues. Her younger sister was brought to daycare (at 18 months old) with bottles that had mold growing in the nipples. We found out that their Mom would take them with her and hang out partying all over the place till 2 or 3 in the morning. They'd be sleeping on the floor, in corners, on park benches when their mom was hanging outside. She came to daycare with an obvious head bruise one day. The director of the daycare and I spoke to her for a little while (during play) and it was our impression from what she said that she was beaten by her mother. We reported it, and of course both girls were pulled from the daycare the next day so we aren't sure what happened to them after that. It was really sad.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

Yes, I think so. Granted I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure this was covered in one of my psych classes in college (30 + years ago) and it just seems to make sense.

Possible trigger:

When I worked in daycare, we had a 3 year old that was very hyperactive, very anxious, overall behavior issues. Her younger sister was brought to daycare (at 18 months old) with bottles that had mold growing in the nipples. We found out that their Mom would take them with her and hang out partying all over the place till 2 or 3 in the morning. They'd be sleeping on the floor, in corners, on park benches when their mom was hanging outside. She came to daycare with an obvious head bruise one day. The director of the daycare and I spoke to her for a little while (during play) and it was our impression from what she said that she was beaten by her mother. We reported it, and of course both girls were pulled from the daycare the next day so we aren't sure what happened to them after that. It was really sad.

That's horrible, I hope some family members stepped in and helped them.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Ziza

I can describe very specific memories as young as 32 months but they aren't bad. I don't remember ever not being afraid of my father, that fear led to lots of unhealthy coping mechanisms that no child should have to do. For years I had an excellent memory with details, but as stress took its toll on my brain, my memory and cognitive skills have suffered.

That's sad. No child should be in fear like that. Yes, stress does take a toll on the memory , age as well

[Ziza]

Thanks for the validation Trace14, I appreciate it.

[Trace14]

7 Red Flags That Your Child Needs a Therapist
ByKatie HurleyMay 31, 2017

https://mom.me/kids/little-kid/84496...eds-therapist/

[crystal blue]

I can vividly recall being in my crib, standing and rattling the bars. I know I was very afraid, but don't remember about what. My mother was schizophrenic and slept a lot. I may have been afraid of being left alone. I guess I had to be between 2 and 3 years old then.

the earliest I remember was about 3.

I remember it quite vividly because my mom had this vinyl record player, and at the time she was playing rod steuart (and rod steuart has always been an issue for me), not just then, but also in other memories in later life

I clearly remember being trapped in one of those seats babies roll around in and being alone and hungry. The only thing I could reach was a bottle of soy sauce on a coffee table. I drank it. My mom was upset when she came back and grabbed it away from me.

[TrailRunner14]

***** TRIGGER WARNING *****

The first visual memory I have is me looking through the spindles of my baby bed, as a baby, and seeing a horrible demon thing looking at me through my bedroom door. I was frozen in fear.

My counselor helped we work through that.

I also have fragmented memory of being a baby and being held by my upper arms with a very angry face in front of me.

That memory is visual and somatic. I can see it and feel the hands on my arms.

It took a while to process that one and it was intense.

Babies do remember.

[Unrigged64072835]

I don't remember anything until age 5, but I *knew* certain things happened. Even now it's foggy.

[Open Eyes]

I remember being in my crib, have even had flashbacks of that where I know I am in my crib crying and crying and my stomach hurts really bad and I am shivering and cold.

[GeminiNZ]

there was neglect from early on, and then:

Possible trigger:

the first incident i remember is from when i was 3. my mother pushed me down some concrete steps. and laughed. i still have the scars (physical and psychological).

but the first incident i was told about was when an aunt witnessed an act of physical abuse against me when i was around 18 months old.

my T reckons that my abuse - physical, at least - probably began even earlier than that. it's obvious i have a lot of pre-verbal trauma.

[katydid777]

I don't know how old I was with my memories. I have a lot of fragmented memories when I was very young. I have been abused in one form, or another all of my life, and all through my life I have placed these things far away some ware in my mind. I am now 52, had a incident in the ER that I worked at, and lost it. That was in 2009. I have been disabled from that time, but I didn't get SSDI until 2012. It seems like I have been working on the abuse for many years, but it has only been about 2 years. I keep remembering, and having flash backs all the time now. But what is so strange to me is that I don't remember what triggered the breakdown. I do know, when I was born, my aunt took me to her home. I don't know wen I went with my parents, but my mom never wanted me. She even told me so when I was young. Both my parents were alcoholics, and I am one of 6 kids. Anyway I may in the future remember more of my life, and when.

When I was 14 months old I witnessed a graphic act of violence. I never conciously remembered it, but I had nightmares every single time I saw my dad after that. Even when he died (hadn't seen him in years) I saw a pic of him and had the worst nightmare of my life. Yes there was stuff after that, but even at 14 months old I was impacted.