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#1
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Ever since I was little I could predict death, when they will go, what will be wearing, general time frame and if I don't know them their name. My grandma died yesterday morning at 94. We all knew it was coming with her slowing decline. We were never close, but I knew more about her from my intuitive dreams then anyone else. Even told my mom things to ask her about in their last visit as I knew it was going to be their goodbye which thankfully gave my mom great closure. I've always been good about allowing the grieving process take it's course, this time I have no idea what to feel. I feel more then nothing but not the something I probably should. I got really drunk last night, no idea why but did. I'm waiting for this to hit me harder. I feel bad I don't feel more, it's not that I didn't love her I find peace in knowing she went pain free, I just am numb. The more people try to console me the more I shut down. I feel like I'm tumbling down the rabbit hole.
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"The dog days are over." |
![]() tattoogirl33
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#2
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justme, i'm sorry for your loss.
![]() talking about it helps and that is what you did here. ![]()
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
#3
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Hi justme,
I am sorry for your loss. I've lost family members before and, from my experience, it always hurts and is sad. Crying is OK and healthy. The pain will diminish as time passes. There are other people related to your grandma who, most likely, hurt also. I don't believe you are alone. The pain will not go away if you ignore it. I know this from experience. Deal with it now or deal with it later. I strongly suggest you deal with it now by talking to someone you trust. Allow yourself to have emotions. Don't punish yourself. God Bless you and your family. I will pray for you all... Peace, A. |
#4
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That's awful, I'm so sorry for all of you.
I feel the same way about my brother who has brittle bones and was expected to die many years ago, although he's still surviving, somehow. Sometimes I feel what I would describe as a little bell in my stomach, and I always look at the clock to see what time it is, expecting someone to phone me to tell me that he died at that time. Its horrible that I'm waiting for it, but I know when it happens I'll feel it. So sorry for you ![]()
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