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Old Dec 13, 2011, 08:42 AM
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Justme_55 Justme_55 is offline
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Ever since I was little I could predict death, when they will go, what will be wearing, general time frame and if I don't know them their name. My grandma died yesterday morning at 94. We all knew it was coming with her slowing decline. We were never close, but I knew more about her from my intuitive dreams then anyone else. Even told my mom things to ask her about in their last visit as I knew it was going to be their goodbye which thankfully gave my mom great closure. I've always been good about allowing the grieving process take it's course, this time I have no idea what to feel. I feel more then nothing but not the something I probably should. I got really drunk last night, no idea why but did. I'm waiting for this to hit me harder. I feel bad I don't feel more, it's not that I didn't love her I find peace in knowing she went pain free, I just am numb. The more people try to console me the more I shut down. I feel like I'm tumbling down the rabbit hole.
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Old Dec 13, 2011, 08:50 AM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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justme, i'm sorry for your loss.this week my uncle passed away. there was no warning. he was in great health. when i lost my mother and dad i went numb. when i heard the news about my uncle i went numb again. i think it was my brain protecting me, like way too much information. so gathering from my experiences i think your lack of emotions just yet are quite normal. give it time and you will be able to grieve. i walked my dog after talking with family members and then my tears came. they will for you too.
talking about it helps and that is what you did here.
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  #3  
Old Dec 13, 2011, 11:00 AM
Anonymous37964
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Hi justme,

I am sorry for your loss. I've lost family members before and, from my experience, it always hurts and is sad. Crying is OK and healthy. The pain will diminish as time passes. There are other people related to your grandma who, most likely, hurt also. I don't believe you are alone. The pain will not go away if you ignore it. I know this from experience. Deal with it now or deal with it later. I strongly suggest you deal with it now by talking to someone you trust. Allow yourself to have emotions. Don't punish yourself.

God Bless you and your family. I will pray for you all...

Peace, A.
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Old Dec 13, 2011, 12:05 PM
Sallygolightly Sallygolightly is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2011
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That's awful, I'm so sorry for all of you.

I feel the same way about my brother who has brittle bones and was expected to die many years ago, although he's still surviving, somehow.
Sometimes I feel what I would describe as a little bell in my stomach, and I always look at the clock to see what time it is, expecting someone to phone me to tell me that he died at that time.
Its horrible that I'm waiting for it, but I know when it happens I'll feel it.

So sorry for you x
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