Helpless

I hate feeling the way that I do. I have been so depressed and stressed lately with school and failing relationships. Not to mention the arguments my parents have at home... I hate my life! I don't know of a way to cope with this. I cry at night, which only helps for a little while. Every so often when I just can't take it anymore and I can't release enough, I resort to harming myself. I feel like it is the easiest way to solve my problems. I know I shouldn't think this way. I am just tired of everything. I have thought about suicide before. But, I haven't been pushed far enough to attempt it. I do have a close friend I share my problems with. But I feel they are getting annoyed with me. I keep crying over relationships that never work out. It is like there is something wrong with me... I don't know why they just use me and throw me away as if I am nothing. And after years it really starts to make me feel that way. I am a broken person. No one is going to want me. I really want to start feeling better. I know life is supposed to be better. I was happy once before. I am afraid to talk to my parents about it though. Is there anything I can do to help relieve the stress and to keep me from feeling down so much?

And I think I might be losing the part time job I have... This sucks.

I am sorry you are in pain. It's so good you are reaching out to others and sharing!

You mentioned you once were happy but no more. Did something happen? a specific event that sparked your sadness? Also, you mentioned hurting yourself (?)

Perhaps you could write a letter to your parents and share with them how unhappy you are, and feel as if you need to speak with someone outside the family / friendships that has some experience (such as a T)

You are not alone and there is no need to suffer alone.

I used to be happy when I was younger... I can remember parts here and there. But now-a-days I get used by boys and discarded and I don't get help at home from my parents since they argue all the time... All I have is my one friend who listens. I just fear my parents won't take to heart how I feel. They haven't cared for me this far. Thank you Rose. I probably should see a professional. Thinking about it makes me a little nervous though. Thank you again. I would hug you but I am not next to you lol.

It's encouraging to hear that you do recall some happy times in your youth. That's good. What happened to change that, I don't know. Did your parents start having arguments back as a tween? Did someone that you were close to get removed from your life? Do you have any brothers or sisters?

It is sad to hear that you've purposely harmed yourself and that you can see a pattern of boys using & losing you. I've been there ~ no fun. It sounds to me as though you're using every signal you can think of to call for your parents help and attention. And you aren't getting it from either of them.

I'd say that your best option is to see a therapist (T). Some people are only comfortable in talking with a pastor, others feel real connected with a special teacher or neighbor. Personally, I lean more strongly towards a T. A professional with some expertise in dealing with issues like these. A big part of you is anxious to have some relief from this anxiety and depression. I hope that you find the right T for you very soon!

Gentle hugs to you