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#1
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Recently I started to talk to a friend(an ex) everyday via skype and we would have some long conversations that lasted 8+hrs everyday for past two months. Few weeks ago I voiced my concerns with some issues and havent heard back from her No calls/texts/emails - all communication ended and I don't understand WHY??? I am borderline and my friend is aware of that and assured me if we hit bumps we would talk things out - so now I am left in a world of CONFUSION and ANGER!!! I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let her in my world only to have her leave. That makes my walls go up and all that anger I have for that friend(ex) pouring onto my other friends as I am being mean and nasty with them and pushing them away. I am backing away because I don't want to be hurt by anyone. My whole life has been like that - hurt/rejected/abandoned. Here in my little world I feel safe with me and my cat!!
I need to learn how to break this damn cycle of pushing the good people away and holding onto the bad people and learning how to get my emotions and anger in check!!!!!! |
shortandcute
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#2
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ive been talking to my therapist about this. i told her all of my life, my friendships have been unstable and very one sided. they still blame me for the kind of parents i had and they were nowhere to be found when i had an issue, but i had to be there for them. how is that fair?
2 yrs ago, i said to myself i am so disappointed in people. it just makes me really hard to speak/be open to people. nobody knows who i am because i have been told once i tell them what i am all about that i am an "embarrassment" because i am not the "ideal child" or "ideal friend." the prob for me with making new friends is they all have kids in the 20s age group and i am not a family type of person. all my life i felt abandon, rejected, etc i asked my bf when is this gonna stop? my therapist knows my own parents didnt want us so what do i have to live for? |
#3
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I have a very close friend who is borderline. I have to say sometimes it is really hard to be her friend. I have learned that there are times when I need to back off a little and give myself a chance to breath before I talk to her. I am not mad. It is just hard. Maybe your friend feels the same way. Call her and see what she says.
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