[ElisaB]

So the move didn't help out my husband's and I's situation at all. There's boxes everywhere, him working and not wanting to do anything at the house but expecting me to do everything with the 3 kids at home all day every day, leaving stuff out for the technician that came to install the internet to steal (my fault, I left it all out), being broke cause I was fired (my fault too)... it's never ending and I'm always at fault. When he's home, I stay away! I can't do anything right and he speaks to me and treats me like he hates me. I'm done with it and can only see separation as the solution. He won't talk to me, when he does, it's all my fault!! I can't take this any more! YET, when he's feeling "amorous" and I'm "not in the mood" (cause, let's face it, there's nothing that's happened all day to make me feel any love from him), he gets mad!! Any ideas??

Marriage counseling?

[di meliora]

Sorry, ElisaB. I shall keep you to my dailies.

[~Christina]

A therapist .. sounds like lots of anger on both sides... 2 years ago I was certain my marriage was over for many of the same reasons you posted .. Today my marriage is doing just fine. Took alot of work .

Good luck

[Leed]

Is there ANY hope at all in this marriage? Would marriage counseling have ANY effect? Do you think that counseling is worth it? Are YOU open to it? Or are you pretty much just fed up?

I hate to see a marriage fail. If you think there's even a shred of hope in the marriage, why not at least TRY marriage counseling? Then, you can say that you tried everything in your power to save the marriage. If you don't try counseling, later on you may live to regret it.

It IS worth it, don't you think? See what your husband thinks, and then make the decision.

I wish you the very best. God bless you, and let us know what happens. Hugs, Lee

[ElisaB]

Marriage counseling's been tried before to no avail. He doesn't want to go, or when he goes he calls the therapists quacks and that they don't know what they're talking about, we've been to 3 different ones with same results. I don't want to end it either. We have 3 kids. But I can't continue to be treated this way. I have 2 girls, what kind of mother would I be to continue to receive this kind of constant verbal abuse? To be told to snap out of it when I'm not doing well or that I'm over reacting when I call him out on his comments. My daughter asked me, after we fought AGAIN, why you crying mommy? Cause daddy's always yelling at you?? Honestly, I just want him to stop treating me like crap, to appreciate all I do, to treat me like an equal again... I'm tired of being treated or talked to like I'm an idiot; tired of the double standard: if he does something wrong, it's whatever.. if I mess up, it's the end of the world!! It doesn't help my illness one bit! Family sucks, home sucks, I'm ready to call it all quit!!

[~Christina]

I'm sorry Elisa.. If your husband isn't willing to actually work on the marriage and treating you as a partner, spouse, a friend... then its up to you to end the abuse. Yes, your kids should not have to see or hear this.

Take care of you and your children.

[Leed]

Dearheart, I totally understand. I had 2 kids, and I took it for 26 years until both my kids were grown -- and THEN I got out. Dumb, huh? But he was gonna take my kids away if I didn't stay. I should have put a hit out on him. LOL No wonder I was in therapy for YEARS.

I don't blame you one bit. Your kids will be much happier & healthier. God bless you and please take care! Hugs, Lee PS -- Happy Holidays!

[Nobodyandnothing]

Dearheart and all,
This sounds like my marriage but I am the mean, nasty one. Nothing my husband does is right in my eyes. He annoys me just by being. There is so much irritability in me. I have MDD. I am surprised he hasn't left. Had it been me in his shoes, I would be long gone. Could the MDD have anything to do with my behavior?

I am currently taking lexipro, synthoid, lamictal, nortriptylin, ambien and wellbutrin, plus a blood pressure med.

I hope you can get your issues resolved. Could your husband be suffering from depression too?

[ElisaB]

I don't know. I'm sure he has some depression, which is caused by me! Our life has been pretty depressing lately.