[InfiniteSadness]

I dont know how to deal with it. I also dont know why i'm a hateful person sometimes.. dont know where the hate comes from, well i have only few ideas.. but nothing tremendous. (also dont want to get too detailed here out of privacy concern)

(((InfiniteSadness))) ...

I struggle with this too ... When I'm feeling it extra intensely I sit back, take a deep breath, accept it's a part of me and focus on treating myself extra patient, gentle and kind.

We aren't born hating ourselves like this ... I firmly believe that our early childhood experiences and messages we received instilled it in us ... Therefore, it's difficult to rid ourselves of it in later life.

We don't have to stoke the fire though ... That's why when it's on extra strong I sit back and concentrate on loving myself more.

,
Pfrog!

[InfiniteSadness]

I get the part about hating oneself... but i also meant like a "general" hatred deep down and also towards others/people.... life. A hatred for life.

[roads]

I had a run-in with that recently, out of the blue. Scared me badly. Something happened at work, which seemed to resolve all right. Days and weeks later, though, there was a kind of residue that clung to the whole experience that that one event was snowballing into a generalized hatred for a growing number of a faceless "them" out there.
I talked it thru with a former dream therapist & realized a lot of it was being triggered by all the current political polarization. I'm being more affected by all the emotional currents around me that I think I'm ignoring, but I need the acknowledge what's out there--even the crazy stuff, if only to reject it. then my conscious mind will be concerned only with valid issues. Extremes ... such as irrational hatreds ... are less likely to be a problem.

We're overwhelmed, and we need to give ourselves a break, some quiet.

[Nihil]

I used to hate a lot, but I examined my reasons for why I hated people and I found that they weren't really good reasons. Although if you come from an abusive upbringing, or are still being abused by someone, I would say that's a good reason to hate someone . It depends on if there is still anything you still value and want to preserve in your life. I don't think it's possible to completely eradicate hatred within yourself, but it's possible to reduce it. I tend to hate what people stand for more than I hate people.

[Inedible]

It doesn't really matter what the hatred is directed at. The problem is that hate is uncomfortable, even when it feels powerful and empowering. It is only nice in comparison with worse emotions like guilt, shame, and fear. Hatred narrows the focus. It literally shuts down the senses and the range of emotions. It constricts the body. Peripheral vision is a great example of something that goes missing and the loss is unnoticed. Sounds become dull and flat. The mind is like an angry bee trapped in a small box, bouncing around against the walls - but it is not depressed or sleepy. It may be odd to see hate as an improvement over anything, but it can be. The problem is that it is still uncomfortable and painful compared to what can be experienced instead. At first moving beyond hatred can be worse than being in it - because of the tendency to gain ground only to lose it. It now hurts worse by comparison to something better. That's how it is with guilt and shame, after tasting how hatred was an improvement. Dropping back into a more painful emotion is more painful still after having had something better. That is the way the process works. People decide that they are done with something when it hurts too much to keep doing it.

[di meliora]

Perhaps you might find some insight here:

The Wolf of Hate
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_d...d=44189&cn=110

A Discussion of Self-Hatred
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_d...38260&w=5&cn=0

Breaking Free from the Bonds of Badness

[InfiniteSadness]

Perhaps, I'm a very cynical person. I admit that. I can also be scornful. Again, i admit that..

[di meliora]

Well, stop it!

[InfiniteSadness]

Originally Posted by di meliora

Well, stop it!

Huh?! That's the whole problem, part of me doesnt want to or doesnt even know how to.

I think hate is fear to the extreme...fear x10. When we feel we have no way out and are powerless to be set free, so we go into overdrive for survival and self preservation. We feel victim to others. No way out while still preserving a "connection" with that or those we hate.

I think if we can get to the fear part and work on that, the hate goes away...letting us soar. Or at least keep moving forward. Hate is so paralyzing and destructive to self. The only one it hurts is ouselves because of the symptoms. And I think it empowers the subject that brought us to that point.

Jmho.

[Endeavy]

Hi Infinate hate is an emotion and like all emotions if we have carried it for most of our lives it wont go away over night ,but to deal with any emotion you have to accept it (tell yourself ok I feel hate ) ,you can try move on then to loving your emotion yes loving the hate ,sounds stupid I know but if we accept and love any emotion it does ease the pain and stop all the wondering where it came from ,your emotion doesnt make you a bad person it sounds like you dont act on your hate I hope you can find acceptance and try move on even with some hate but nothing that gets you down xxx

My hatred is towards most of my family for what they have put me through, They go about laughing whilst I suffer and in pain, I am sure this is why I hate them so much.

[0w6c379]

[quote=InfiniteSadness;2774932]I dont know how to deal with it. I also dont know why i'm a hateful person sometimes.. dont know where the hate comes from"[quote]
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I don't know how to deal with the hate either but I can tell you some of the reasons I feel it. In fact I was looking for a thread where I could sound off.

I hate friends who feel the need to tell me about their wonderful lives. Their husbands who bend over backwards to make them happy (even when I see that the woman does absolutely nothing for her man). I hate it because I've been wishing all my life for someone who would love me even 1/2 as much as your husband loves you. I hate hearing about how your kids are so great and they told you today that they love you! This is especially hurtful when I have no children of my own and wanted them desperately. I don't need to hear about your wonderful life and see your beautiful Christmas tree (which the husband put up of course) or see your expensive presents (which have no actual use). I'm so sick of hearing you say how "lucky" you are. If you are so happy, kindly have the common sense to keep it to yourself in my company. I'm hoping this year that I'll be spared from hearing any of it.

I HATE the injustice of life.

[IceCreamKid]

[QUOTE=Michelle25;2783252][quote=InfiniteSadness;2774932]I dont know how to deal with it. I also dont know why i'm a hateful person sometimes.. dont know where the hate comes from"

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I don't know how to deal with the hate either but I can tell you some of the reasons I feel it. In fact I was looking for a thread where I could sound off.

I hate friends who feel the need to tell me about their wonderful lives. Their husbands who bend over backwards to make them happy (even when I see that the woman does absolutely nothing for her man). I hate it because I've been wishing all my life for someone who would love me even 1/2 as much as your husband loves you. I hate hearing about how your kids are so great and they told you today that they love you! This is especially hurtful when I have no children of my own and wanted them desperately. I don't need to hear about your wonderful life and see your beautiful Christmas tree (which the husband put up of course) or see your expensive presents (which have no actual use). I'm so sick of hearing you say how "lucky" you are. If you are so happy, kindly have the common sense to keep it to yourself in my company. I'm hoping this year that I'll be spared from hearing any of it.

I HATE the injustice of life.

Sometimes, Michelle, people say all that stuff because they are trying to convince themselves how wonderful their lives are. I hope happiness comes your way.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

I dont know how to deal with it. I also dont know why i'm a hateful person sometimes.. dont know where the hate comes from, well i have only few ideas.. but nothing tremendous. (also dont want to get too detailed here out of privacy concern)

I'd like to share this because I think it fits in with your topic. I work alongside a woman who hates. She hates me something fierce. She thinks I have it all -- everything that she wants and should have and that I don't deserve what I have and had in life. I feel sorry for her. But annoyed, too. She snaps at me, snarls at me, barks at me, talks down to me as if I am stupid, and takes advantage of me at work.I can hear her on the phone snarling at someone, so I know I am not her only target.

I believe she feels justified in what she is doing (she's indicated she thinks it is okay to take 'it' out on people at work when she is 'in a bad mood') and that what she is doing is a 'stress reliever for herself'. She's somehow entitled to treat other people like dirt because she's angry at the world because the world hasn't given her what she wants and thinks she deserves.

I came out of a background where I didn't even think I deserved to live and breathe. I don't have much by American standards but I feel like I have plenty and I'm happy with what I have. I'd rather be a cheerleader than a scorekeeper.

My coworker talks to me like I am stupid but I'm not stupid. I've mainly held my tongue because I've thought she needed to get her top dog on and I knew it didn't change my accomplishments, gifts, possessions, relationships. But I have re-thought that. Her rage only fuels her rage. Her disrespect of me only grows deeper and meaner. And I am seriously not the cause of her problems which go all the way back to her youth, but have continued into the present day because of choices she continues to make. At some point maybe she will realize she has beaten that dead horse into a powder and it still hasn't come back to life.

She doesn't know it yet, but she's mistreated me for the last time. I am going to redirect the course of her raging river of hate away from me.

What I have written here may not apply to you at all, but maybe it will strike a chord with someone drawn to your thread.

[InfiniteSadness]

I deal with it with my family and ignorant people, the thing is sometimes nothing works but punching a wall.