[jadzea]

My cat has been slightly sick for the last week. If she does not soon start to eat we will have to put her down. I can't stand the sorry and loss I feel whenever I think about being without her. All I want to do is cry. Finally I started taking some 4 year old Xanax that my pdoc gave me for a some things that were happeningg a while ago. It has made me feel more relaxed. I don't cry anymore and I can enjoy the tiime I have left with my kitty.

I feel so weak because I have to rely on meds to get through. My husband is a rock. You can tell he is sad but he is getting on with his life and caring for our little girl like a trouper. Why can't I be more like him? What is wrong with me?

[Leed]

Bless your heart ~ Your dear kitty is like a member of the FAMILY! Don't feel weak because you're losing your precious pet. You are certainly NOT weak! We, who adore our pets, absolutely fall apart when we lose our pets. There are those who just don't understand how close we get to our wonderful animals, and I don't understand THEM -- but pets are precious additions to families, and when they pass on, it devastates us!!

We lost our dog last year, and it just made us all basket cases. He was 12 years old, and the most precious dog in the world -- to US. We weren't "weak" for loving him, and YOU are not weak either for loving your dear cat!

So know that my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. And I'm so very sorry.

I'm just going to give you one word of warning tho -- be very careful with the Xanax, because it doesn't take long to become addicted to it. It's supposed to be for SHORT TERM use only!!! I got addicted to it quickly and it's VERY hard to get off of. So be very careful my friend. God bless you, and please keep me posted on how you're doing, will you please? I DO care. Hugs, Lee

[shezbut]

(((jadzea)))

I don't think of you as a weakling at all! You love your cat dearly and it is heartbreaking to see one that you love hurting. I loved my cats and dog with a passion as well ~ and it was very hard seeing them deteriorate. They will always hold a very special place in my heart though. Don't think of yourself as being strange that you're overcome with sorrow and fear as you see your loved one/s suffering. You are human!

I do agree with Leed about being careful with the Xanax. A better option might be to see your doctor and get prescribed to a safer medication to help relieve your anxiety. Some meds are much easier to stop when you're ready, than others. Gentle hugs to you and your kitty.

[Daisylady]

I agree with the above. And also, women feel things more emotionally and more often than men do. We are more empathetic, and have different horemones and different brains, and we need our men to be rocks for us. Don't feel bad about feeling a great sence of loss and fear for your cat. I would too. And I'm really sorry to hear you may lose her. My eyes tear up too, just thinking about it! Allow your man to support you, take strength from him. Your sorrow may be an expression for him too.

[leona.mccauley]

I agree with DaisyLady, the men are emotionally stronger than us. I don’t think he is wrong nor are you. You need to be strong and enjoy the time you have with your kitty.

[objtrbit]

I do not feel men are emotionally stronger than us; I feel they get called weak themselves if they breakdown... due to societies view on how men are supposed to act and how women are supposed to act. Men get weird looks when they express themselves with any "weak" associated reactions. I feel like if women say "we need our men to be rocks for us", then that leaves no room for men to be allowed to be upset themselves, or makes them hide/suppress it. As a female, a comment like that can be insulting, insinuating that I need a boyfriend in my life to be strong.

Major deviation from your topic, I apologize Jadzea;

You said:
"I feel so weak because I have to rely on meds to get through. My husband is a rock. You can tell he is sad but he is getting on with his life and caring for our little girl like a trouper. Why can't I be more like him? What is wrong with me?"

I don't know if you can think of times right now, but I'm sure there have been times when you have had to support your husband. Your husband might cope differently then crying, but be the same degree of emotional turmoil. For example, sometimes I overwork to compensate for the pain or stress I feel, and try to take my mind off of it. Where one partner is down, the other supports.

I am also thinking you may have compounding stress in your life, and the fear of losing your companion was a breaking point. A lot of times we, male and female, do not give ourselves the credit for how much we are enduring. I may be wrong, but I feel like this might not be the first time you have seen your husband as a rock, and yourself as weak.

If this is true, maybe there was a time in your past, possibly as a kid even, where you were made to feel something similar.

I'm a bit passionate about your predicament because I am on depression medication, and wonder how it is my girlfriend does not need it...then again, she's an alcoholic! lol.

I feel like your worst case scenario would be: your husband truly was more emotionally stable then you.
What would that mean for you? I think talking about it might help make sense of this threatening thought, and maybe if you had some insight it could empower you;

Take care,
-obj