Trouble with having emotions

I am having troubles relating to others' emotions. I just don't relate or have empathy for others. I am not completely emotionless but it is starting to get in the way of my life. I don't have functioning relationships as I am terrified to commit with anyone and leave them often because it's probably better for them in the end. I don't have any other drug problems or mental problems really. I've just been told I'm an ice cold beeyotch because I just don't open up to people. It bothers me sometimes, that I may never be in a functional relationship.

Is there anything that I can do to change. Was I just born this way or did I develop to become who I am?

Hi ~ I can see where this would effect relationships with people. Plus it would be difficult to HAVE any intimate relationship with anyone.

Please have your doctor refer you to a good therapist. Your doctor would know who to refer you to. A therapist would be able to help you open up and learn how to experience your emotions. You DO have them -- you've just never been able to "use" them. For some reason you've repressed them, probably due to your upbringing. Your therapist will show you that it's "okay" to let them out -- to experience them completely, whether they're painful or not, and sometimes they can be. But in life there can be pain and to live fully, we HAVE to experience some pain in order to know joy.

So please see a therapist. You won't regret it. I wish you the very best and hope that you'll return here and let us know how it all turned out. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Those who "Told" you that are Wrong. You seem quite normal to me, and you don't need to be an open book all the time. Some protection is need at times.

Thanks I guess, but I don't enjoy talking, especially to "shrinks" and I'm also a student with no medical so even if I wanted to it's not an option.

I find myself lying compulsivly in order to seem normal and to fit in with everyone else around me, but I don't share the same emotions about life. I guess this remotely makes me a sociopath. So I guess my question is, do I specifically date other sociopaths, or should I just keep to myself for the good of those around me?

You are likeable. But None of us can be likeable to everyone. Be selective with who you want as a friend. You are not a "Sociopath".

If you're a sociopath then why do you care about keeping to yourself for the "good" of those around you?

Can you list three example of such lying?

I agree with Atypical_Disaster and go further by flat-out telling you that you're not a sociopath.

Why are you afraid of commitment?

Perhaps sociopathic tendancies is a better word choice. I care about select people, just the well being of my own blood mostly, and there are some people that I admire or that make my life better.

I lie when it's convienent to make conversations shorter, I lie to tell people what they want to hear, so I don't have to listen to them ramble on...I lie to make my life easier...Sometimes I lie to see if people are stupid enough to believe the ******** that comes out of my mouth. It's really sad that they do believe it, but when you say anything with enough confidence and it can become true. I lie about how I'm feeling so people leave me alone, No one knows me really not even family, and I keep it that way. I don't want them to know my thoughts. It's self preservation I guess. What am I if not a sociopath, am I just another f'd up member of society? I often have extreme thoughts of rage but I always control them...like earlier today I was driving, and a girl started slowly crossing the crosswalk and made eye contact just to piss me off. My immediate impulse was to get out of the car and slit her throat...I didn't do it, but only because of self preservation..

I guess what I am basically asking is if how I am is normal, but you Looney Toones seem to think so, which gives me some comfort. Also what can I do to manage my rage? No one has answered this question; Do I just need to find a guy to date that's like me? Or is that a bad program? All I know is that two negatives make a positive..

Some Questions:

1) have you always yearned to be as "sociable" "outgoing" and be able to join in the same "fun activities" as others, and maybe feel sad because you can't?

or

2) You dislike what others do, see no purpose, think they're silly, but feel pressured to adopt their behaviour to seem normal, and feel sad because you feel others won't accept the 'real' you?

as for your self-diagnosis of being a sociopath, just to be clear you know that means.. it is if you feel like harming others in very creative ways and still feel nothing. I would never ask you if you feel that way cause it's a very personal thing to admit, so I'll leave it as that

I'm affraid of commitment because eventually someone will see me for what I am...I'm affraid that they'll love me and I have never been able to reciprocate that emotion I think. I guess I'm broken just like the rest of you all...After doing some research I have found that others feel the same way, so it's good to know I'm not alone.

It is too early for you to think of commitment. You should try making small steps. Do not go into lying so often. See what happens then. Maybe it won't be the end of the world.

**** happens? It's not the end of the world either way.

Looney Toones ... HAHAHA.

You are managing your rage. Sure it's not exactly fun to manage it, but you are doing it. You haven't acted upon your urges to do random acts of violence, you're not doing that badly in managing it at all!

I think you'll fit in just fine on this forum, happy posting!

Fair enough guys! Thanks for the imput!

Likewise, it is too early for you to be afraid of being unable to reciprocate love.

How many people are currently in love with you?

So... you will deal with the issue of unrequited love when and only when it becomes relevant.

Not even close...

A lot of people make such lies frequently.

You seem to be managing it just fine.

No. Don't attempt to woo a sociopath. The vast majority of sociopaths don't "date" people. They find and use targets. I only know of a handful of exceptions, and none of them could exactly be called "healthy relationships", including my own relationship.

Why are you afraid of not being able to reciprocate love? If you didn't love them, you wouldn't care if they were hurt or left.

Only two people are in love with me, and one of those is me.

I'm not looking to get married right away, or even for 10 or 15 years for that matter, I'm smarter than that. I do want to find someone that I can relate to before then though.

I said find someone like me, not directly finding a sociopath to date. I just don't comprehend why I don't feel anything drastic, I've never had a godly or religious experience..I guess I'm just not feeling like my fellow humans.. which sounds creepy but I guess I'll just figure it out as I go along like the rest of you.

Back when the atheist Eastern Bloc occupied a hefty part of the planet, billions of your fellow humans lived without religious experiences, yet had friends, dated and mated, read good books, cooked great meals etc. Lived lives, in other words.

nonerveendings, the more you tell about yourself, it seems you've been keeping a lot of this to yourself for a very long time. So you maybe haven't been able to sort out what is healthy for you. It seems that there is more than just keeping emotionally distant and it would be a good idea to find someone who can help you explore if something has happened that is making you feel this way about others. It might be that you are simply more introverted and that would seem fine as long as you're not being destructive. My concern would be your thoughts towards the girl crossing the street - making eye contact with you just to piss you off - unless she said this to you or you've had prior incidents with her where she said something to be hurtful to you- I'd say you have no way of knowing if she was trying to piss you off. To have violent thoughts towards her - seems you may have some anger that you need check out. May or may not be the case but it would be a place to start if you're wondering why you are feeling/not feeling or thinking the way you are. just my thoughts.

In today's world we are supposed to be hypersocial and disgustingly lovable. Some people just don't fit into that narrow definition of what is normal. I don't care about most people and that doesn't make me a sociopath, I'd rather spend time alone actually. People tee me off or drain me with stupid comments about stupid things. Or by just being present. This is not a disease, it's a personality trait.

Strongly agreed! I'm also of the opinion that every human being on earth can be diagnosed with a personality and mental 'disorder'. Every time I think someone is normal and living an average life, the more I get to know them the more I go "holy $$$$'.. that's awesome" :P some people though do annoy me no matter how much I try to tolerate them (and them, me), and I'm no longer feeling guilty for giving white lies to people who deserve it (those who are easily hurt if you're honest).

words verbatim from a touchy person: "You could've lied to me, I would've felt so much better".. true story.

Your pent up Anger has pushed to the edge. Get counseling to uncover its roots. You are more angry at Yourself than at others.

I'm on-board with jimi...'s sentiment. Wise words. You should do more investigating instead of just deciding what you are -- you might be happier that way.