I can feel it coming on :(

I can...I can feel it and I don't know how to stop it

My class reunion is coming up and they are posting pictures on Facebook of all the cool things they did way back when....and I was never there. I never went. Not on my class trips, no Junior Prom, no Senior Prom....nothing. They talk about me like I was their best bud and I don't know why. I was never in on any of it.

I don't know why I didn't ever go. Even though I was "friends" with a lot of these people we never really hung around together. When I was in Junior High my parents were strict and thought my friends were "too fast" so they never let me do anything. Consequently when I got old enough to start venturing out I stumbled onto a crowd that was less than desirable. Thus I became "too cool" for the in-crowd. Stupid!!

I've been out of school for a long time. I got away from the bad stuff also....long long ago. (actually ended up with a cop) What I don't understand is why this is bothering me now. All kinds of crap that was buried in the back of my head ages ago....stuff with my parents...stuff with just people in general....the direction my life took...is all making me feel very sad.

There is no one I can talk to that can help me understand. My parents are both gone. My brother and I are estranged.

I have a good life now. I don't know why this stuff even bothers me. It's a bunch of crap. I am an adult. I have grandchildren for crying out loud!! WTH??

But....I can feel if pulling me down. I need to address it somehow.

Hi i probably don't have a lot of commen sense as I'm 15 but can you talk to a professional about they way you feel and how sad things are making you?
Sorry of this is no helpx

Some of the wisest people I know are young people Thank you

Hi Muser ~

Perhaps this class reunion is a negative reminder (bad memories) of a time where you felt in less control of your life. Even though you've step away from that now I guess subconsciously it feels like you're going back in time to that place and perhaps you haven't received a sense of closure from all the 'unfinished business'.

I'm not really sure how I can advise/help you... but I get the feeling that a lot has changed for you over the years and you're no longer in the same place as you were back then. I'm sure their lives have changed a lot as well. Try not to think of this event as bottle of negative high school/college memories but rather a social gathering where you can share laughs about your life (- including all the things that you have done since you've left there).

I hope everything goes well. Take care ~

Thank you Daylight You are absolutely right!! It wasn't the best of times for me. I feel like I missed out on a lot and made some very poor choices. Maybe having gone through some of what I did gave me a little more understanding when my kids were at that stage.

It's funny how childhood memories...good or bad...can take you right back to that place again.

I did one positive thing...I shut of the notifications to the Reunion Page. I still don't know if I'm going or not but at least I don't have to deal with the daily reminders. Hopefully in the meantime I can develop a more positive/confident attitude about the whole thing.

Many thanks for your input.

I've been to two class reunions (10 year and 20 year) and what I can tell you is that the social barriers that existed back during high school aren't really there. People mostly chat about what they've been doing with their lives, their significant others, jobs, kids if they have any. I have found that there's really little chat about things that happened during school years and it's mostly about catching up with life as adults... and it's interesting to see what became of some people. There are definitely some surprises that you wouldn't expect!

I hope that helps ease your tension about it.

If you DO go to your class reunion, I hope it doesn't end up like mine did.

Can you believe that after 30 years, the "cliques" were still in force? I was amazed and appalled at the same time. I was never in the "in" crowd, but I knew most of these so-called "kids" and wanted to say hello.

One gal in particular was there, and it was obvious she had had some surgical work done -- nose job, cheek implants, the whole ball of wax. She didn't look like her "old" self at all! But we had been close in school, so I at least wanted to say "hi." She was there with her 'boy toy' who was obviously about 15 years younger. I walked up to her (with my name tag on, which she DID see) and it was obvious that she pretended she didn't know me at all. I guess I wasn't good enough to introduce to her boy toy.

And the cliques? By that time, I figured who gives a rats behind. I finished my coke, and left. It was the most miserable time I've ever had. And I was so depressed! People hadn't grown up at all -- they were still the same snobs they'd been in school -- and maybe even worse.

I've never been to another one, and never will! I don't need people like that, even for an evening. I have enough trouble getting thru life! LOL

God bless and best of luck! Hugs, Lee

I am almost 31 and never fitted in with cool crowds at school so I have never went to any of my class reunions. It would feel too fake because I know I really didnt connect with many of the people and the worst thing a person can do to someone is act like that use to like you when they treated you like complete crap and made fun of you in school. I ended up going to a school for "troubled kids" and I fit in because ya know they felt the same way I felt!! It wasnt about getting trouble with law, doing drugs, parties etc at the troubled school it was kids that had problems at home or their old school decided to be assholes to them. I think you should really think about the pros and cons on you going and see what comes up more important to you. Some people never change and fake their entire life trust me Facebook shows you that. When you get a friend request from someone that totally treated you so unhumanly they should still be ashamed of themselves then they have the balls to request you as a friend- NOT COOL. I actually closed my facebook account about a week or two ago due to the fakeness of all the people on there..its a sad world out there. I wish you the best of luck

I'm pondering what you all have said and there is so much merit in all of it.

I left the area for a short time but returned to my hometown with a renewed appreciation for small-town life. After the last reunion I didn't go to a classmate came into my work and gave me a rash of crap about how others came from so far away and I'm right here in town and couldn't be bothered...blah blah blah!!

My memories of my high-school years are of loneliness, solitude, and general bad feelings. Even when I hear music from that era I feel that way. I think my anxieties and negativity comes from memories of my extreme low self-esteem back then. It has taken a lifetime to overcome that.

So do I suck it up and prove to myself I am a much stronger person or do I skip and miss another outing from my high-school??

Again, I thank you for your input. Much to ponder

Well, before you didn't do things because your parents didn't allow you to. Now, it's only you that is holding yourself back.

You already have some hints that others liked you in school, so it isn't like you are proving anything to them, its all about proving something to yourself really, right?

When we are young like that we "self judge" alot and often think others see us the way we see ourselves. But if you were a pleasant person and validated others with your kindness, that is all they will remember about you, which is coming out in FB posts to you.

Going may bring you some closure, because you get a chance this time to make your own choice and "just go be with old friends". They just want to see you and how you made out, which you made out fine, are fine now, that is all that matters, you outgrew whatever challenged you in your past.

I have found...over the years, that my thinking about things too much makes them much worst that they actually are.

This is complicated. More so that a simple "Meet and Greet". There are some things...even though this is a safe place, I would only discuss in privet.

I will likely go and meet this head on. It is also likely I will try not to think about it too much in the meantime

I truly appreciate the encouragement. I needed that. I'm sure I'll need some more before the time comes.

Love to all!!

Found this in the PsychCentral news letter...kinda fits


Sometimes we can’t all get along, which can be tough when you find yourself in a social situation where there is a Fun buster around. Rotten apples tend to affect healthy ones, so when you find yourself at a party, or on a double date, or any social event with a Fun buster, know you can do your best to manage the awkwardness that often accompanies a Fun buster.

1. Issues – Don’t let someone else’s drama become your problem. We all have issues, and Fun busters tend to make their issues your issues, so, don’t let them ruin your good time.
2. Laugh – Keep it light. You don’t want a Fun buster to affect your mood and bring you down, so, keep your cool and use your positive attutide to counter a negative one.
3. Separate – When you find yourself in a social setting with a Fun buster, feel free to create some boundaries and separate yourself. There are other people to surround yourself with, so, gravitate toward positive energy.
4. Honesty – Often times we don’t want to deal with a Fun buster. They can come across as intimidating and can dominate the crowd. You can either go with the flow, or not. Being straight up with a Fun buster can put the kibosh on a bad vibe, so choose your words carefully and don’t feel the need to have to get along.

Fun busters, Party Fouls, and Rotten Apples. We don’t all get along, and trying to manage a Fun buster in a social situation can be tough, but, if you consider the tips above, next time you find yourself with a Fun buster, remember, you don’t need their bad time to become your bad time.