Any thoughts on how to stay happy?

Today, I felt happy.

This is rather rare for me. Most of the time I'm either anxious, depressed, lonely or stressed. Never happy. The last time when I felt like smiling, my brain managed to think up all the lovely things that caused the anxiety and depression, making me feel that once more.

I can't stay happy. I don't know why. Something always comes up. Nothing particularly bad is happening in my life right now, other than the issues above. But I just can't stay happy. I can't not worry about stuff. It just...happens. There's no other way I can describe it. I convince myself that I'm not allowed to stay happy, that the feeling is abnormal and I should feel all depressed.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to not go back to that mindset, and actually stay happy - or at least somewhat positive and not self-loathing - for more than a few hours at a time?

Hello ~ Do you know WHY you feel "self-loathing?" Was it something from your childhood? Were you constantly told you were "bad" or something?

It would really be a very good idea to go into counseling, my friend. In order to know WHY you go back to those bad feelings you need to know the cause. And you can't find the cause without help. It usually stems from something in our childhood, but not always. So have your doctor refer you to a good therapist. He would know the best therapist to send you to.

If you cannot afford therapy, STILL talk to your doctor. He can help you. I would also advise you to post on the depression forum too. You do seem to be quite depressed, and the people there can help alot too.

God bless and please take care -- and PLEASE let us know your progress, will you? We DO care. Hugs, Lee

I'm dealing with this myself. -_- It's extremely difficult. Everyone is telling me to exercise, drink more water, go outside more often, be more positive.. I'm trying to do these things but it isn't helping with my constant frustration/irritation with everything. I am so agitated all the time and nothing seems to calm my nerves or make me happy any more.

I mean, try doing things you like. Try going outside and getting out in general more often. If you have someone you trust and whose company you enjoy--or enjoyed, if this is a new occurrence--spend time with them, even if you don't feel like it. It may lift your spirits just being around someone you feel cares.

I don't have any definitive answers but it's worth a shot. Hope you feel better soon, bud.

-K

I feel that way all the time too, the anxiety, actually i took my valium pills early today as i started off having a bad day emotionally,and it really helped, i think i need a med adjustment.

Try to dig deep inside ur mind to abstract why made u happy and hold on to it for as long as u can.

Happiness means different things to different people. Unforunately, as human beings, and I don't know why, it doesn't last as long as we want it too.

Hope mthis makes sense to u...

...happiness is an attitude...you almost have to train your mind (and maybe for a long period of time) to achieve the consistent happiness you have in mind...you have to live happiness every day...make it an effort, which takes a lot of time away from people and life...nothing would be more important...i dunno...i prefer my fix of happiness from time to time...it makes it more enjoyable if i dont know its comin...just my opinion...

It is impossible to be 100% "Happy" all the time. That would be an unrealistic goal.

I think happiness is no different than fitness or health...you have to work on it and it becomes better.
Some days I am just happy because I think its in my nature. In any situation, I always end up looking at it from some kind of positive angle.
Other times I listen to music I like or look at photos or videos of my daughter and that will get me REALLY happy.
Some days I start out happy...like today....and end up in a funk because of something some one else did that I allowed to steal my sunshine.
So identify things that make you feel happy and then keep them close by for when you need a boost.

I feel for you. I just had this conversation with my therapist today. Sometimes I just feel happy(rarely) and I'm the person I want to be and most of the time I'm struggling to find the happy place. I'm anxious, stressed, it's a constant battle. I have to do a lot of self talk to change my perspective and put the positive, happy thoughts in my head. You can't expect it all the time but it would be niceto have that general sense of happines, wouldn't it? I hope you can find it.

I am happy all the time, but I'm 88 and have done a lot of living and learning. I could make myself unhappy if I chose to. but I prefer enjoying every minute I have left. Years ago I read "The perfected yogi is aware of every breath." He or she is probably also perfectly happy. So I've been working on being aware of every breath for a long time.

A simple way is to try to count every breath. When you lose track, start again as soon as possible. If you really tune into your breathing, it feels very good. Really staying tuned to feeling how you breath and keeping count can also block your going back to what you call "that mindset." The mindset is your own telling yourself things, thiinking. It is possible to control it and your thoughts. I do. I'll check back here to see if you try it. If you don't I'd be interested in why not.

To everyone who answered - thank you so much. I've hardly any friends, so to have this many people to bother replying made me feel...good.

Rusty9 - thank you for your advice. I did indeed try it and I'm surprised it actually worked for me. Next time my thoughts stray down that dark path I'll use this method and hopefully it'll be successful in keeping my head.

To those who suggested talking to my doctor - I haven't told my GP this problem as such but she does know that I've got these sorts of issues, and I now have a letter of referral to go to a psychologist. I plan to book myself an appointment as soon as possible.

Leed - I wasn't told I was "bad" but I've been told that I'm going to end up homeless, that I'm stupid, that no one likes me, that I'm useless, etc, by friends and that I'm not smart enough by my school several years ago. I've been told enough, so I believe it. I don't know if that's why I feel the way I do but I'm guessing it has something to do with it...possibly so does the lack of friendships, the lack of relationships and the fact that I've never really been told that I'm smart, pretty, beautiful, etc. Not that I want compliments constantly, but it would be nice if SOMEONE said something like "oh hey, I like your hair today."

But I'm different to others so I guess that's not going to happen...

Glad it worked for you, Lillium. If I had "friends" like yours I'd dump them.

It's possible you're not "smart, pretty, beautiful." Your posts reflect and intelligent mind behind your written words. Coming from someone, me, who has a Ph. D. in clinical psychology for Columbia U. in NY that may mean more than a lay person saying it.

As to "pretty, beautiful", that resides in the eye of the beholder. I do know what conventional "pretty, beautiful" is in this country and on TV. If you want to post a picture I'll tell if you fit that steriotype. But I am prejudiced by what little I know of you, so I am likely to see you as attractive, interesting even if a TV producer wouldn't.

The only thing that has ever really worked for me is exercise-walking or running. The after effects last for several hours for me.

You have to focus on the little small things that make you happy. Like the way someone gives you a compliment or how you had a delicious breakfast in the morning. Focus on the smaller things in life and they will make you feel happier over all. It's important to take care of yourself, relax, and take breaks when you need to.

Another vote for exercise. Also, do small kind things for yourself and others.

The first person to crack the secret of happiness will be the planets richest person.

Learning meditation can help with learning to silence the mind.

I learnt basic meditation in a small group setting. I only did it to spend time with my mum who was doing it anyway, but it was actually pretty good.

Phreak