Just burned out

Hey peeps, for the past 3 days or so I've been trying to deal with this feeling or feelings that just make me feel like I'm being twisted up inside. I'm incredibly uncomfortable physically, I'm really irritable, on and off, mostly with my wife, whom I live apart from, due to my job. I feel just really dissatisfied with my life in general. I have a job I really like, usually, a 15 month old daughter who I love more than anything in the world, but I can't shake this feeling of being trapped and I feel so guilty for feeling like this. The wife and I have been having issues as well and I find myself wanting to separate myself more and more from her. I feel like she's always watching me like a hawk and we often end up arguing about how I feel that she is controlling, but she says she's not and loves me and wants me to be responsible and she and my daughter always need to come first.

I'm not really sure how to cope with it all. Mostly, I just end up laying in bed, writhing inside. Anyone got any advice?

Not that any sane person claims to be an expert on women but it seems like she's possibly feeling rejected.

Try taking her out for a meal the next time you're back with her?

I guess anything is worth a shot, but it's not like we don't regularly go out for dinner, shopping, etc.

I've been thinking it through and I've come to the conclusion that I just have to go ahead and be honest with her about it. As messed up as it sounds, I'm tired of trying to be husband and father of the year. If I don't get to cut loose without the b.s. and the angry, guilt inducing phone calls, I'm going to go F-in' nuts. Is this immature of me or is this like the normal ebb and flow? It's been such a long time since I've just done what I wanted that I can' tell.

You might be overloaded with too many burdens and this can be a normal reaction to hyper-stress.
Maybe you are trying to tell your wife that you need some time off, some free time. A week-end will do, maybe. And then, in time, try to get another free week-end.

If she is not experiencing your stress, she can feel rejected, like you don't want to be with her and the baby. Tell her honestly that you adore her and the baby, but you just need some time off. Just sleeping or walking, just letting your mind wonder. Tell her that you will be happy to reciprocate the favor and one week-end she'll be out the her friends, going for massages or whatever and you'll take care of the baby and the house.

Having some time off, just to ourselves, is natural and really adds to our general health. If she is too scared to let you go for 2 days, then start some counseling, before these issues become too big.
In the while, if wife is not collaborating, pretend you are sick and that you cannot go back home for that weekend.
Is this cheating? If you don't save yourself, who will?

I'm definitely overloaded, that much I know for sure. Luckily, I've been able to lighten that load by pull out of a home purchase last night. I'm also about to move out of state for my job. The first thing my wife tells me this morning is that she's no longer looking forward to moving. We've been living apart for the last 6 months and are about to be living together again, but she can't look forward to that without us buying a house... I don't know if I'm being oversensitive or self centered, but that hurts. I tell her this and she gets mad at me because she tells me throughout the week that she misses me and asks me why I can't concentrate on that. She said some really hurtful stuff last night when I told her the house purchase was a bad idea right now that just echoes in my head and I just don't feel like I can trust he anymore. I feel more like I'm just her source of security and cash rather than her husband. Or maybe that's the same thing in her head.

Seems like your wife and you have different needs and different priorities. Being, probably, the both of you overloaded for different reasons, you cannot talk and listen to the other. You both are so stressed that you can only listen to your needs first and when the other does not respond positively, you both feel like he / she is letting you down.

Before radical decisions, please see a counselor.
He might not be answer to all the problems but he/ she should be able to have you both communicate while listening to the other.

Hope I don't sound too tragic, but when we are in too deep things, a third party listening and helping out is really a good idea.

Best luck

A rule I like to follow... 24hrs... don't make any big decisions for 24hrs. When you are in the hair pulling going out of your mind ready to totally flip the f^@k out feeling trapped point remember this. 24 hrs
Can ya tell I've been there

I like the 24 hour rule, I've recommended it to others myself. The trouble is that I've been going on a lot longer than just a few days with this. I know I need to see someone about this, but the reality of my situation is that I can't right now. I've got about another month or so until I can. I don't know how much longer I can maintain. I have no idea what might happen if I can't. I'm not saying I'm suicidal or homicidal or anything like that, but I'm not sure what I might do. What I want to do is just fall off the face of the earth for a while. The frustration that builds up in me is painful. What does a person do when they are so dissatisfied of their life? I feel so guilty for feeling that way because of my daughter and my wife, even considering all I can't stand about our relationship. I wish she and my wife were enough for me to be happy.

Candlejack, sorry about all the frustrations. When I'm really irritated about things sometimes distractions can help. watching stupid movies etc. Things to take my mind off of things. Also, not sure if it is an option, but exercise can help too. Glad you were able to get out of the house purchase. I'm guessing that that would have added an extra level of stress.