[kala83]

so both me and my therapist have started to realize that the actions my mother makes more pushes me away from change then encouraging me.

she is very obsessed with items in her house and where they are how they are put up.
and she tries to enforce her views onto me as well.

we have always had a dysfunctional relationship, and it needs to be worked on and fixed.

at this point I am dead set on finding a job(s) so I can get an income and get out of this house.

being in my mother's house is breaking my spirit and I am at the point of emotional break down.

just cause there is soo much negativity in this house and just harsh emotions toward pretty much everyone.

[MaryJayne47]

Sounds like you're on the right track to getting out of there, which sounds like the best thing for you right now. Its hard to push family aside for your own good, even when that family member is hurting you. It seems so natural to stick around right?? Thats what makes it so hard. Good for you for making these decisions, and good luck with the job search. I sincerely hope you find something so that you can make your situation into a more positive one

[kala83]

its even worse cause I know that she does intend to hurt me..but she has issues of her own...that I doubt she will will ever come to terms with.

so how can she fully come to terms with mine.

[gracez]

finding a job and getting your own place sounds perfect, and exciting. i left as soon as i could and never went back. i sometimes feel like i'm missing out in life not having a mother's love or supportive family, but its never been part of my life

you have a new adventure ahead of you, i hope it comes together for you soon

I am very sorry to hear that you're going through all this. You sound just like me. at times i feel like I cannot get out of a situation like this. For most of my life, I feel like I've been controlled. I cannot seem to be able to escape from some of the situations. I have rebelled. I don't like to be the one to let htis happen any longer. I want to be released from anyone's control and I don't want other people's emotions to be transferred to me. I don't like it and I don't appreciate it either.

[newlyborn0372013]

I have been exactly where you are a few months ago. my mother was pushing me away from therapy and trying to get me to think her way and make me feel like the changes i was making were completely wrong and disrespectful. And while we still have a bit of friction things are looking up, and I can only hope and pray the same for you. I really am rooting for you to getaway from that toxic situation so that you can heal

[sunshine74]

I eventually had to sever my relationship with my family because I realized that it was not productive and even harmful to me. You have to do what is right for you and if you have talked to your therapist about it then that shows it is not just an impulse move. So good luck on finding your way!!!!!

[avlady]

I hope you can heal and I will pray for your situation!!

[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by kala83

so both me and my therapist have started to realize that the actions my mother makes more pushes me away from change then encouraging me.

she is very obsessed with items in her house and where they are how they are put up.
and she tries to enforce her views onto me as well.

we have always had a dysfunctional relationship, and it needs to be worked on and fixed.

at this point I am dead set on finding a job(s) so I can get an income and get out of this house.

being in my mother's house is breaking my spirit and I am at the point of emotional break down.

just cause there is soo much negativity in this house and just harsh emotions toward pretty much everyone.

I feel like I could have written your post. Just like you, I am an adult and I live with my mother, who tears me down when I don't bend to her will. I do have a job, but because I have to pay her rent and my job doesn't pay that much, I can't really save very much.

Just remember that there are two people in this relationship, and it shouldn't be all up to you in order to make things better. It's commendable that you want to have a better relationship with her. But I also understand wanting to have some boundaries set into place in order to protect yourself.

I wish you luck in your job search. You will find one. And when you do find one, you can maybe rent a room or live with a roommate. Take care, and keep us updated.

[kala83]

I know she loves me very much...but I honestly feel like she loves me at times too much.

its smothering and breaking my spirit down and as I said I just know that we get along a hell of a lot better when were are not living in the same house.