lonely...

I feel so lonely. It seems stupid as I have lots of people at work who I have friendly chit chat with but I don't see them as close friends. I don't even feel like I can open up to my husband, I've tried a few times but he isn't interested in talking about feelings.
I feel trapped. The only person I can share everything with about how I'm feeling is my T.
But now I think I am getting too dependant on him and I worry about what will happen when I stop therapy and lose that relationship with my T.
Does anyone else feel like this?
What is wrong with me? I feel guilty, maybe I am just looking for too much from friendships.

You can talk to me if you need to talk. You can talk about anything with me

I agree, the chit chat at work does not leave me feeling close to them. They wil never know who I really am. I'm sorry you can't open up to your husband. But he is like most people. They don't want to get below the shell we wear on a daily basis. Not because they don't care but because they can't fix the problem so it is better to not talk about it.

I wouldn't worry about becoming too dependant on your T. When/If the time comes to stop therapy you will have the tools to deal with it.

Nothing is wrong with you. It's the world that has the problem, because we weren't raised to listen to each other.

I feel alone, too. Though my husband will listen, he still doesn't get it. He can't comprehend the depression makes me feel. You can't know till you walk in my shoes, sort thinking.

I hope being here on PC will help you. There's always someone that will listen.

Thanks gayleggg, you really understand me.

Yes, I think I do. Anytime you need to PM me go right ahead.

No matter how much chit chat and friendliness we have with co-workers, they truly are not friends, unless the relationship goes beyond the workplace. Many people believe that it is not good to mix work relationships with personal relationships. That can be argued and there are good points on either side of the argument. It sounds like you do what most people do, which is to leave your work relationships at the job. To say that this interaction with co-workers does not meet your need for friendship is not at all stupid.

If you feel lonely, you are lonely. And it's not stupid. Husbands often do not make the best friends. That's not stupid for you to feel either. Many members here at PC describe their conversations with their Ts as the most satisfying interaction that they have. So you are not alone there either. I agree that it is worrisome to wonder what will happen when you are not in therapy.

What you are looking for from friendships is not "too much" IMO. It is what we are all looking for. Like many of us, you haven't found it. I haven't either, and it makes me very sad. I think that building friendships takes real skills that some of us did not develop. We may be ever so competent on other fronts, but never have gained a lot of experience in the area of friendship. I believe there are usually good reasons for that. They go back to childhood.

I tried to compensate by making the most of whatever relationships I could find. Some of them were not healthy. When I came to realize that, I withdrew. Now I am way too alone. It is an incredibly hard problem to solve, it we ever do solve it. I feel for you.

in some ways you sound like me. no matter who is is, spouse friend, etc they never get below the surface. I do not call them friends. they are associates. I gots lots of associates, but no friends. never had any. as a child I was even sent to the child psy. from kindergarten thru the 4th grade. even he could not find why I could not make friends. fast forward. I an 51 never had a true friend, been married 3 times, still never had a person I could call a friend.

so yes you can talk to me as you wish, because I do understand lonliness. there is NOTHING wrong with you, so you have nothing to be guilty about. it is a big scary world out there, but sometimes just having someone listen can help. (never worked for me, but I have seen it work for others)

Hi there,

New to the forums here, but figured I would stop in to comment. I know exactly how you're feeling. I worked at a hospital where I was surrounded by many people. I had plenty of people to talk to and actually got along with most. I even had one friend who was by my side the entire time I was there.

I noticed one thing about myself and "friends". I never get too close to them and no matter how much I want to, I hide. I have quit my job at the hospital and haven't heard from one single soul since. It hurts and devastates me, but then I sit there and wonder would I actually be willing to pursue a friendship and give it all I have? Right now my marriage is the only thing I can seem to focus on. That is even tough for me at times.

So, in a way, I completely understand where you're coming from and how you feel. I would never wish the hurt and sadness that I feel every day on anyone. Please feel free to PM me if ever wish to talk further or even have a shoulder to cry on.

Many hugs.

HI! I think it is easy to feel lonely - I can feel lonely even when surrounded by people. Loneliness is a state of mind - if you are happy and content with who you are - then that is half the battle. Sometimes if we do not feel understood we feel lonely which is perhaps why you find it easy being with your T because you feel a mutual bonding and that is she understands you and what you are saying - just a though