[PeachCream22]

I'd really like feedback on this. You can say that quite recently, i had a breakup from a relationship that was terrible and soul-sucking, but sometimes I can't help but miss it. Even though I've been really, really busy, hanging out with friends and taking part in church activities, just feels lonely on some nights. And it's draining, mentally and physically.

Any ideas on how to cope and eventually find ways to make it go away completely and stay away completely?

[InnovateYoung21]

It's a tough place to be in, especially depending on your ability to go out and meet new people. I would suggest putting yourself in some situations where you are around other people, not necessarily indulging in risky behaviors but associating with others. Talking to family members can also help, just everyday conversations are a good start.

I don't think it's a good idea to rekindle any sort of relationship with your ex if the relationship is of no good, you will save yourself a lot of trouble and harm by staying away ! Even being on here and socializing with users can be effective !

[Thunder Bow]

You need time for yourself. Being active as you say you are, is what is draining you right now. Give your self a break to allow your mind time to process what happened with the relationship.

[gnat]

I have problems with this as well. I have found it is helpful to keep my mind engaged by busying my self with other things. When I really struggle is when I'm driving. My mind wanders and I get really sad and frequently lonely too.

[PeachCream22]

Thank you for the replies. But perhaps I need more detail in my post.

Pretty much just got out of a bad relationship, it was emotionally manipulative, it was destroying me, and at first I felt high when we finally broke contact, because it was more than I could stand after a year of walking on eggshells everyday.

But now..

For some reason, right now, now that all the drama is over, I feel numbness, pain, loneliness, depression, sadness, the works. I don't cry though. I just can't, i don't know why. I just can't seem to face it and accept the truth.

I keep on replaying scenes, pretending to talk to someone who is not there, and overall the feelings are still there, somewhere, at the back of my thoughts everyday, he is there. Not his actions, just his face, his presence. All the good memories, and bad memories interlaced together and hit me again and again, creating mixed emotions and numbness every day.

What is this....this thing that I'm currently facing? Do I need to time? Do i need to get out more? I feel like the more I get out, the lonelier I get when I finally come back home. Being surrounded by people spirals me to despair, all those talk talk talk about their lives and the world, my reality is slowly somehow shattering and their voices are but echoes.

Maybe I'm going crazy...I'm scared, I'm afraid, I feel alone and lonely. It's like i'm existing without living. I don't want this feeling.

[Thunder Bow]

Spend some time alone to allow your mind to process what happened. Stay out of crowds and parties for now. You will feel better.

[edward6]

It's intrinsic to our human nature to want to socialize, but in the Western culture it seems to be all about self-promotion and superiority - gamesmanship. I don't socialize for those reasons, and I certainly feel lonely, too. Instead I focus on personal growth whether it be intellectual or physical health. I stopped trying to find a significant other, and I don't want someone just for the sake of having someone to talk to. If and when she comes, that's great, but I'm not holding my breath. Take care of yourself, and let life unfold. There is a high probability that someone worthwhile will recognize your aura, in time.

[PeachCream22]

Yeah, I've been trying to focus on personal growth too. It helps, but it doesn't make the loneliness go away. I know I should take care of myself. But honestly, I think personal growth right now, for me, is really challenging, I keep feeling like there's no point in life. The more you live, the more inevitable pain comes and engulfs you everyday. I do not feel suicidal or anything like that, just asking: what am I living for? Just feels like my life is really meaningless right now.

Your reply gave me a fresh perspective though. Thanks!

[Macrick]

Believe me, you are not the only one feeling this way. The reason you are feeling this because you want more than just superficial relations. Not just stupid partying, posting FB party pics & liking stuff ppl posted. You want an imitate relation where you can share every thought with that the another person. Just my view, cheers

[PeachCream22]

Yeah. I guess I do feel a little like that. I'm not like most of my facebook friends who posts pictures every day about their own life, what meals they eat, what dress they wear, what people they are being with now, it's all so tiring to look at. But then, that's what facebook is for nowadays. But thank you for your reply. It did help me understand myself a little more, among all the chaos in my head right now.

Happy new year to everyone by the way! Best wishes for 2014!