Addicted to sadness

As the title implies...does anyone ever feel that way? Like, you can't bring yourself to be happy anymore, and when you ARE actually fine, your brain brings up miserable thoughts from the past and the anger surfaces.

What is causing this feeling? Is it the inability to let go of past issues? Or is it an emotional problem? Is it just needing some self-control? I really need help on this.

Any opinion is greatly appreciated.

The brain brings up stuff that needs working on. People think they "stuff" thoughts and feelings away rather than think about them but that is actually a defense; they cannot think about it yet because it is too difficult. But when we do think about problems and feel about them, it means we have access and can work with them. We cannot "let go" of things either, we have to work them through. It is a bit like our dreams; if we do not work on issues, they repeat, that's why people get recurring dreams, the mind is trying to help the person work with what it needs to work with. Accepting what is happening and acknowledging it instead of fighting it can help as it is all happening inside us so we are actually fighting ourselves, not the thoughts and feelings or situations from the past. When we accept that at the moment we feel X and are thinking about Y and don't fight it but look at it and see what we can learn, what we can do so things can be better in the future, then some of the "fight" from the other side, the recurring nature and need to increase the pain (so we will pay attention to instead of trying to "get rid of" whatever) will go away and it will be easier for us as we won't be divided inside ourselves as well as have the problems in the first place.

Common depression causes negative feelings that causes negative thoughts. If this is heavy, seek some help.

Try this: "Addicted to Unhappiness",
by Martha and William J. Pieper

I agree with Thunder Bow. Recently my doctor reduced my antidepressant by half. After a month, I noticed this kind of sad and bad thoughts popping into my head uninvited. I recognized this as a symptom of depression and went back to my doctor to have the med readjusted. I'm already feeling better. Some of us just have a chemical imbalance in the brain that requires a bit of tweeking.

I should add, I dealt with this mindset all my life until being diagnosed with depression and getting help, thru counseling and, most helpful, medication.

My problem mainly surfaces because of thoughts about a past failed relationship. Occasionally I get angry whenever bad memories surface, and I start to think, wow where did all this anger energy come from, and then I'd feel like crying. It was much worse before, when the thoughts made me suicidal. But I guess I'm tired of these thoughts. Do all this mean i am depressed and need medication and counselling? or is it just normal post break up feelings?

Also, someone mentioned about facing these feelings about the past. How DO you face them? I would think I HAVE faced them, because bringing up most of the memories just makes me feel numb (as I replayed them in the past till I'm sick of it) now, and I don't really care anymore. B

ut I guess there are still some pretty deep memories that hurt me deeply. Maybe I still need time. I don't know. It's just taking a lot more time than I expected...(been about a 14 months), but I've made tremendous progress compared to before...(at least that's what I think) Still finding it hard to talk about the past, as I've read somewhere before that one would be considered to be completely moved on if one is fine with talking about his hurtful past.

I want to completely move on.

I've experienced the same thing. The last relationship I attempted ended very painfully for me, and it took me several years to recover. I no longer think of it now, but for years, like 5 or 6, I was struggling. I wanted to move on, to not think about it. In the end, it just took a lot of time. It takes as long as it takes. If you are in counseling, that could help. I found medication to be most helpful, since I tend to obsess. As for your talking about it, you will be completely healed when you say "MEH" as in it's not important and I don't want to waste my energy going over it either verbally or mentally!

Ya I think a part of me just likes pity.

I think it could be possible to be addicted to sadness. Perhaps certain people actually might, in some way, feel better when they are sad. It's like sad feelings/emotions bring comfort to these types of people who probably feel more at ease processing sad emotions than those of happiness. I heard a quote from an actor once (can't think of who it was at the moment) which was this: "It seems easier to make a sad drama bringing the viewers to tears than to make a happy, fun comedy arousing laughter, because just under the surface, most people are closer to sadness than to happiness." There might be something to this. I think the best advice you could receive is to get with your therapist and have him or her help you find out why you might be more connected to your sad emotions than to your happy ones. After any discoveries are made, maybe you and your therapist can put together an action plan to help you beyond these feelings.

Thank you so much for the replies. As usual, PC makes me feel a little less lonely amongst these crazy emotions I'm experiencing. All of you have been most helpful

Maybe I really should consider seeing a therapist.

I have zero experience when it comes to medication and therapists, so I'm just trying to figure it all out first before approaching someone else about it.

Dear PeachCream22,
I don't think you are addicted to sadness.
You have some insight into what is going on.
As the one poster mentioned some people/people can relate to sadness yet find it much harder to relate to happiness.
You are not alone & you will find people here that feel the same way you do.

If you are lonely/ depressed for a long period of time this begins to feel normal for you. However when you do find yourself feeling good, this becomes uncomfortable for you.

You can learn to overcome "this constant state of sadness."
A therapist can help you work through whys and how to cope.
Life is a journey with ups and downs we learn new skills. You deserve to be happy.

Would you think of setting aside some time like 2 minutes a day where your goal is to stay neutral? Let your mind wander, thoughts coming and going.
Without feeling them or thinking about them ?
Saying to yourself as I breathe I can remain calm, as I breathe I am neutral, as I breathe I can learn to relax. Its just 2 minutes

It is just One new skill to clear your mind. Its not going to make everything better but it is a start in managing your emotions.
H.

Thanks! The bold sentence is actually closest to how I'm feeling. I had always thought it was my inability to move on, because the same thoughts of anger keep replaying in my head. Also thanks for the exercise. But will 2 minutes really be enough? Isn't that almost the same as meditation though? Which would, in reality, take a bit longer? Thanks a lot, for helping me see through my emotions.