Anger

How do you cope with anger? I've buried mine for so long that it only comes out in my dreams, where I am full of rage. My therapist wants me to come up healthy ways of letting anger out but I'm at a total loss.

I'm so angry with my son right now, but I feel the anger turning inwards, and I feel physically ill. That's how my anger shows itself: nausea. And I know I'll have horrible dreams tonight now.

I feel so alone in this!

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I've learned to manipulate my body into feeling anger without being angry,listen to music like Hollywood undead, find one that you feel that it's angry, and play a reaction game like fruit ninja, your body will be stimulated and it will go into flight, your adrenalin glands will release and you'll feel like a focus and sort of rage manifest.your body will release the frustration. It's like your between full rage and serenety it's fenominal

Exercise, it helps. I feel cardio doesn't help much but core exercises, weights, speed bag, punching bag they help. Sparring does as well.

Unfortunately, I don't have access to these items.

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Usually, if I'm extremely angry, I either go on a crazy cleaning spree or bake bread (as kneading dough requires a lot of force).

But yes, if you go on youtube you can probably find a bunch of fitness videos that will help get the energy out in a productive way as well. Sometimes the best thing I can do is just get outside and start running. Just run until you're exhausted and then walk back. I know my friend rearranges his furniture when he's angry because it's a lot of physical activity.

Amen gloaming - anger is SCARY. I become afraid to really look at issues because when anger comes up I start to think things like ... how could I feel so negative about my sister, daughter, son, etc. I must be a bad person, other people don't feel this way, blah, blah, blah. None of that is true but I go there anyway.

Recently I read this suggestion in a meditation book and I tried it on a issue I was having and it really seemed to work for me. Get a piece of paper out and write the following at the top "If I were really honest with myself right now, what am I feeling?" You can even add an issue such as "...what am I feeling about my son?" Don't edit it and be honest - just start writing and put down everything you can - the good, the bad, and the ugly ... the TRUTH. In doing that exercise, it seemed like the negative feelings I was having went from inside me onto that paper and I had a release of sorts ... not perfect but better and that is good enough for me these days.

Then destroy the paper (unless you want to share it with your therapist)!!

Your out bursts mirror the anger you have towards yourself. In therapy, work on the anger you have towards yourself.

Thanks Thunder Bow - I suppose in the end it really is about our relationship with ourselves. I forgot that but am glad for the reminder.

Also remember depression and anger go together, it is hard to separate them.

It really is hard.

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Recording music, writing a new song helps me a ton. But then I'd need to be at home.

Physical activity, walking, cycling, running. Or punching bag as mentioned above.

Everyone has a different solution. Mine is to watch slasher movies. I mean like The Human Centipede, Natural Born Killers, Hostel 2, Devil's Rejects, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, stuff like that; just all-out disturbing, terrible, disgusting movies. By the time they're over, I'm calm as a cucumber. If I didn't watch them, I'd have inspired them. Also, I draw pictures of terrible things happening to the person who infuriated me or write and compose a nasty song about them. I don't put anyone's name in the song so I can't be sued for defamation of character. I know that makes me sound like a total narcissistic psycho but... well... there's a reason I'm a member of this site. I gained a bit of happiness when I stopped trying to deny this side of myself and accepted it as just another side of who I am. It's a work in progress. I'm not perfect. Hell, the only reason I'm working on it is because of the stress it causes me, not so much to fit into some kind of ideal mold.

Dear Gloamingone,

You have a lot on your mind to deal with, have compassion for yourself.
There is a hierarchy of emotions and Anger is a top tier one below Rage.
Underneath Anger is fear, frustration, confusion, sadness, dislike.
Also there are different types of anger.
Knowledge is power this will help you use more words to express yourself.
http://dictionary.reference.com/tool...2_success.html

I listen to loud angry music, my daughter goes to a place and parks her car and sings her heart out.
I use meditation and mantras.
I deal with anger by not allowing myself to be baited to anger, I try to calm myself down to a rational state a more neutral place where my thinking/feeling is manageable.
This took years and is ongoing. Yoga is my go to, stretching and releasing.
H.