chronic lonelyness

I was born to feel alone. I can talk with anybody I want - in the end I still feel lonely. That is nothing I can do to make this go away...just keep waiting for my treatment to work. Sometimes I came here to not be alone, but I still do.
How do you cope with this?
Hearing nice lovely words helps me a little. But I still need someone eelse to say them.

everyone feels lonely. And everyone feels misunderstood. Isn't that so ironic haha?

I guess the real point of life for me is to find people that make me feel a little less lonely. I've developed a certain acceptance that I will always crave other people. I know that I need them to fill parts of my heart that I cannot fill myself but that doesn't make me any less whole. I'm a standalone piece of artwork even though I think I look better with other art next to me.

But hey, you may feel lonely but you aren't alone we are all here with you

I'm feeling lonely. But the thing that always helps me is to find another person feeling lonely, and then I reach out to them. Magically, I end up feeling less lonely. For example, right now I am bummed that I posted a problem, and no one has responded. There are lots of folks who post on these boards who barely get a response. If you respond, I guarantee you will make a friend. Dear Abby is right: reaching out always helps one feel better. Like right now, I feel better for having reached out to you. I hope you feel a bit better. Hugs!

I've never figured out how to make friends and sometimes get horribly lonely. I've been more lonely in this episode of depression than ever before. I don't understand why I never connect with people, I can talk with anyone, but it is just conversation, I wish I could understand my lack of connection.

I understand your feelings and can empathise, I wish that you didn't have to suffer this too.

I've often been lonely because I don't bond the way other people do or enjoy the same types of socializing. However, I've found exceptions. Talking to anyone at all and expecting a connection won't work, but especially online if I make a point of being genuine I can attract the attention of people who communicate the same way and enjoy the things that make me feel connected to others.

Surface conversations are really only enjoyable if I'm in a playful mood, and nice words from strangers often make no difference to me because they're in no position to know what kind of person I am. I really enjoy the mental connection of debating or exploring a topic with someone unusual who isn't going to be offended.

I feel most alone when I am having an anxiety attack or when I am in the black hole of depression. Both conditions make me want to isolate AND need people. It's a push and pull and it is very, very frustrating.

Ultimately, I really do want to connect with other people and have meaningful, functional relationships. I'm not there yet and I continue to work on it in therapy.

I hope you can find connections here and beyond.

I never understand whynI dont connect with people either. I had a great childhood, was brought up well and always had friends. I lost my engagement around 2008 and went into straight manic depression. I will never find anyone like that again so I basically gave up. I always thought life was about starting a family, working, all that stuff.

Now years later im practically socially disabled. So detached from the outside world. I dont have anything to offer anyone. Whos gonna want to be with someone who isolates. For some reason I look at people sometimes and they are smiling and look happy and I wish I was like that. My whole outlook on life is different now. Its like im just wasting away in the house. Who wants to be with someone who is sad, doesnt like to go out, low self esteem, I just cant see soneone wanting that and its sad.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. This feeling is pretty common in bpd so I know it all too well. I can be surrounded by people who love me and still feel alone. I think this lonely vld stem from not loving and accepting ourselves, but that's just my theory! I believe it's best to keep to a small group of close friends who truly care, keeps me from feeling a little less lonely.

Thank you, to all of you. For sharing your stories. I'm not alone in feeling alone.
It is really stupid the amount of time I had talk with some people, lots of time, and even so, distant, distant, distant.
It's a thing hard to understand, I'm fine in being alone, and I don't want to be alone. I just see strangers around me, my family is a bunch of strangers. It's hard to explain.
Maybe it will get better, but my entire life was more a less like this. Even when I had a group of friends and enjoyed to be with them.

I sleep with married men to deal with loneliness.

I have nothing else in my life.

I know how you feel!
Like when you're standing in a group of people but you still feel completely alone. And sometimes it just seems like that horrible sense of utter loneliness will never go away.
I was recently talking to my T about this and we talked about some ways to feel included when you're feeling completely left out in a group of people. Some ways we talked about are by joining in the conversation or maybe doing something nice for someone in the group (like giving them a shoulder massage).
I know that it may not always make the feelings go away, but CAN you know that we are always here for you.

Thanks. I have gotten myself in a situation where I feel extreme loneliness. I left my previous job and moved to a more isolated area where there is less people and less things to do publicly. I owned a house here which is primarily why I moved and I have some family and relatives here which I thought would make me happy but it hasn't. I feel so alone some days I feel like I'm going to go crazy. No one in my life and few friends here makes it for tough going. I find myself hanging out in the bars but not making any friends or connections. If my sister didn't live here I would just get up and move. I'm not sure exactly what to do anymore.