Lonliness- I could use a little help

(Sorry it's so long)
I often find myself feeling unbearably lonely, which I always found weird because, although I'm not popular or social and have been through some harsh rejection, I do have a few good friends.

Then I realised I felt so lonely because I was hiding the real me inside, far away from the 'me' everyone knows that has fun and talks with my friends. On the outside, I'm nearly a perfect honour student - intellegent, listens to teachers, and if you want to find me chances are I'll be in the library studying. But who I am when no-one's looking is completely different.I have all these dirty secrets that I do so much to hide. It's almost like I'm completely covered by this mask or facade when I interact with others, while the real me is kept back in the dark. No wonder I feel lonely.
(I hope all that made sense)

Anyway, I need to open up and tell someone about those secrets. Then I could work with that person and slowly accept who I really am. There's other reasons too, but basically I just know I REALLY need to. The problem is that breaking the image everyone has of me would give them a major shock and I'd end up getting seriously rejected. I have this one friend I've learned to trust, but just thinking of telling her makes me so scared it's literally paralyzing. There's no way I could tell anyone. Seriously no way. But I know that I really need to.

So I could use some encouragement or advice on how to tell her and get my secrets out. Please don't say "just do it! " or something along those lines. I've always been useless at showing my emotion or how I really feel about something, so trusting someone else with something like this is HUGE for me. I can't even bear telling you guys, despite that you aren't going to judge and have no idea who I actually am. And, as I said earlier, just thinking about telling her is terrifying. Please. This loneliness is ruining my life. I need some help here.

I think it might help if you choose someone on the forum and tell them via Private Message so you can be reasured you are not the only person with secrets. We are not judgemental and maybe by telling one of us it will give you the courage to tell your friend. I'm sure that what ever your secret it is some of us hear have some just as bad or worse. We share them to get the guilt out. Secrets haunt you because they are secret. Get them out so you can quit hurting.

I agree with gayle, talk to some on here. Befriend a few and then pm those u feel some connection or understanding. We don't judge. U may find some of us have actually gone through what ur going through and can give u some support and advice. Just know u are not alone.

I have gone through the distrust with my friends. I thought I could trust my best of 20+ yrs with something. Little did I know she wasn't going to keep it to herself because I didn't tell her to. I figured it was implied. It's ok it hurt she threw that trust way but it didn't kill me.

Now I have T. And although there are things I won't tell her due to knowing her reaction, I can tell her a lot more than anyone else. She's not going to cry or attack me. If u don't have a T maybe u should look into it. It may help.