It's not because I'm smarter than everyone else, btw. It's hard for me to trust people, and even if I do, I still don't trust them enough to let them in on my secrets. For instance, I can tell them "I'm feeling down", but I can't really tell them why I'm down.

My mom, I talk to her more than anyone else on the planet, but she doesn't listen. Things I say go over her head. Sometimes she starts talking when I'm talking, and it's like she becomes completely oblivious to what I'm saying, like she can't hear me at all. I have to scream "mom!... MOM!" and then she's like "oh what were you saying son?". All I can say is 'nevermind', because the right moment has already passed and I don't want to say the same things again. It's incredibly frustrating, but I don't blame her at all.

Sometimes I try to let my emotions out, but I feel like no one values my emotions, if this is too much to ask from people, I guess I'm the fool then.

Only time my friends listen to me, is when they're drunk, they tell me they love me, they tell me that they're always there for me. They sober up, and they're all gone, I realize it's just the booze talking.

[Nat92]

Alright, first. You're not a fool, your emotions are valued, perhaps even just on here.

I don't think I'm alone when I say, I can really relate to how you feel. I talk to my mom more than anyone else, but I can't really "talk talk" either.

There could be countless of reasons as to why I just don't get through, as to why YOU don't get through. To me it just seems like she's ignoring the obvious, perhaps not wanting to hear it? Maybe just not paying enough attention? Parents often react in the opposite way as you would've expected, often because they're worried, they're scared etc.

And sometimes, it's none of the above.

I'd advise you to catch her one-on-one, sit down with her and ask her for 5 minutes, where she just listens, explain to her how you feel.

Trust isn't something that just magically appears between people, it's a bond, a connection that takes a long time and a lot of work to be established and it needs to be nourished.

Your friends don't really come across as terribly trustworthy, nor real. Perhaps you shouldn't expect too much from them, unless the friendship improves. You could very well risk being more hurt, because the bond between you isn't that strong.

If possible, perhaps try to focus on the one person you may feel closest to, work on the friendship and build up trust.

Bottom-line would be, talk with your mother. If it doesn't pan out, then at least you know that you gave it a shot.

You're never really alone.

Thank you for the reply, that was fast

Maybe I've been spoilt by all the mom characters I see on TV and the movies, lol. Me and her are never on the same wavelength. She sometimes puts an abrupt end to our conversations, or she doesn't really 'feel' my emotion. Either way, I feel really bad, sometimes I feel like I should give up trying. Other times, she plain forgets what I said before and I have to start all over again.

There's a time and place for a conversation for me, and when she asks me to repeat what I said, I get incredibly frustrated.

I'm just getting more and more reclusive with time, and whatever emotions I used to share before, I'm keeping it locked up now.

[Nat92]

Originally Posted by brokenentity

Thank you for the reply, that was fast

Maybe I've been spoilt by all the mom characters I see on TV and the movies, lol. Me and her are never on the same wavelength. She sometimes puts an abrupt end to our conversations, or she doesn't really 'feel' my emotion. Either way, I feel really bad, sometimes I feel like I should give up trying. Other times, she plain forgets what I said before and I have to start all over again.

There's a time and place for a conversation for me, and when she asks me to repeat what I said, I get incredibly frustrated.

I'm just getting more and more reclusive with time, and whatever emotions I used to share before, I'm keeping it locked up now.

It could be that your mother may not realize where you're coming from. Perhaps she doesn't really prioritize emotions or see them as something important. Is your family not accustomed to talking about emotions?

Originally Posted by Nat92

It could be that your mother may not realize where you're coming from. Perhaps she doesn't really prioritize emotions or see them as something important. Is your family not accustomed to talking about emotions?

We're a family that don't talk much to each other at all, let alone hug or do something like that. I'm probably the most emotional person there is, and the most expressive.

[glok]

Hello, brokenentity. Sorry for the difficulties you describe. This resource may be helpful:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...-emotions.html

I wish you well.

Originally Posted by brokenentity

It's not because I'm smarter than everyone else, btw. It's hard for me to trust people, and even if I do, I still don't trust them enough to let them in on my secrets. For instance, I can tell them "I'm feeling down", but I can't really tell them why I'm down.

My mom, I talk to her more than anyone else on the planet, but she doesn't listen. Things I say go over her head. Sometimes she starts talking when I'm talking, and it's like she becomes completely oblivious to what I'm saying, like she can't hear me at all. I have to scream "mom!... MOM!" and then she's like "oh what were you saying son?". All I can say is 'nevermind', because the right moment has already passed and I don't want to say the same things again. It's incredibly frustrating, but I don't blame her at all.

Sometimes I try to let my emotions out, but I feel like no one values my emotions, if this is too much to ask from people, I guess I'm the fool then.

Only time my friends listen to me, is when they're drunk, they tell me they love me, they tell me that they're always there for me. They sober up, and they're all gone, I realize it's just the booze talking.

First of all, I'm kinda starting to think that, general, no one really listens to anyone else. Most people have no internal life like you do (and like I do too). Most people don't think about their thoughts or their feelings. They are just more like animals: they just exist. So, these people (who I think make up the majority) are never going to be in any sort of meaningful conversation with you. Never.

Second, although you want to talk about your inner thoughts and inner feelings, really, no one cares about, and no one ever will, for the most part. And, in sense, that is not something that you should condemn others for. Nor, I am NOT saying that it is normal and right for no one to like you and care about you and spend time with you. No, that is not alright. And you can and must do things to remedy that situation. But I am saying that someone with a deep and active and troubled inner world cannot expect others to take a great interest in that inner world. It just isn't want friends or lovers talk about. Who then do you talk to about your deep and active and troubled inner world? I can really think of only a few outlets: a counselor; a support group; and online forums like PsychCentral.

Third, I think for people like you (and me), I think the secret to making friends is to have intense interests that plenty of other people in your area also have an interest in. Then when you are with them you talk mostly about this common interest. The common interest could be anything healthy, such as: science fiction; making jelly; riding horses; riding motorcycles; Republican Party activism; Democrat Party activism; running marathons; birdwatching; winemaking; gardening; the Civil War; painting; writing. It could be anything. It just needs to be a thing you are really into and love to do every day and a thing that some other people in your area are also into.

That's all I have for now. What do you think of those ideas?

Originally Posted by brokenentity

It's not because I'm smarter than everyone else, btw. It's hard for me to trust people, and even if I do, I still don't trust them enough to let them in on my secrets. For instance, I can tell them "I'm feeling down", but I can't really tell them why I'm down.

My mom, I talk to her more than anyone else on the planet, but she doesn't listen. Things I say go over her head. Sometimes she starts talking when I'm talking, and it's like she becomes completely oblivious to what I'm saying, like she can't hear me at all. I have to scream "mom!... MOM!" and then she's like "oh what were you saying son?". All I can say is 'nevermind', because the right moment has already passed and I don't want to say the same things again. It's incredibly frustrating, but I don't blame her at all.

Sometimes I try to let my emotions out, but I feel like no one values my emotions, if this is too much to ask from people, I guess I'm the fool then.

Only time my friends listen to me, is when they're drunk, they tell me they love me, they tell me that they're always there for me. They sober up, and they're all gone, I realize it's just the booze talking.

Hi Brokenentity: I came from a family, as well as from a time period, when nobody talked about personal problems or emotions of any sort. I recall when I was a young teenager, my father told me one day, since I was getting a bit older at that point, I shouldn't feel as though I needed to hug him anymore. I don't think I ever did.

Nowadays, I live in a suburb where there are allot of older people (like me!) No one I have any interaction with here ever talks about personal problems or emotions either. I don't think people in general do this. And I think men tend to be worse at this than women. I do think women, at least with close friends, may be more likely to share their inner thoughts & feelings.

I know, for myself, it took me many years, including 2 major suicide attempts, to get to the point where I could share at least a small portion of what's inside. And, even at that, it's tough. I even read posts here on PC & I'll think: "Boy... I would never write anything as personal as that!"

The thing I think helped me the most was to participate in group therapy sessions during my 2 hospitalizations. I had always told myself I would never do anything like that. But, at that point, I had to. And I found I actually enjoyed it & it helped me to open up just a bit. If some kind of group therapy situation was convenient for me to get to now, I would probably go.

hi people, thanks for the replies, means a lot, I will respond soon.

Originally Posted by TomThomas

First of all, I'm kinda starting to think that, general, no one really listens to anyone else. Most people have no internal life like you do (and like I do too). Most people don't think about their thoughts or their feelings. They are just more like animals: they just exist. So, these people (who I think make up the majority) are never going to be in any sort of meaningful conversation with you. Never.

Second, although you want to talk about your inner thoughts and inner feelings, really, no one cares about, and no one ever will, for the most part. And, in sense, that is not something that you should condemn others for. Nor, I am NOT saying that it is normal and right for no one to like you and care about you and spend time with you. No, that is not alright. And you can and must do things to remedy that situation. But I am saying that someone with a deep and active and troubled inner world cannot expect others to take a great interest in that inner world. It just isn't want friends or lovers talk about. Who then do you talk to about your deep and active and troubled inner world? I can really think of only a few outlets: a counselor; a support group; and online forums like PsychCentral.

Third, I think for people like you (and me), I think the secret to making friends is to have intense interests that plenty of other people in your area also have an interest in. Then when you are with them you talk mostly about this common interest. The common interest could be anything healthy, such as: science fiction; making jelly; riding horses; riding motorcycles; Republican Party activism; Democrat Party activism; running marathons; birdwatching; winemaking; gardening; the Civil War; painting; writing. It could be anything. It just needs to be a thing you are really into and love to do every day and a thing that some other people in your area are also into.

That's all I have for now. What do you think of those ideas?

I understand. I don't want more friends, In fact I'm happy with the ones I do have, They're enough for me. But I can't seem to connect emotionally with them, sometimes It's my fault, sometimes it goes over their heads. Sometimes I try to be subtle, but they just don't get it. I am forced to be not so subtle, and it sort of ruins it. I expect them to pick up on things, but they just don't.

I do have a lot of interests that are in common with many people, movies, videogames, music, mysteries, that's great but it leaves me with an empty feeling afterwards, like they don't really know me. I don't want my identify to be defined by my interests/hobbies or tastes, I want people to know me for what I am.

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hi Brokenentity: I came from a family, as well as from a time period, when nobody talked about personal problems or emotions of any sort. I recall when I was a young teenager, my father told me one day, since I was getting a bit older at that point, I shouldn't feel as though I needed to hug him anymore. I don't think I ever did.

Nowadays, I live in a suburb where there are allot of older people (like me!) No one I have any interaction with here ever talks about personal problems or emotions either. I don't think people in general do this. And I think men tend to be worse at this than women. I do think women, at least with close friends, may be more likely to share their inner thoughts & feelings.

I know, for myself, it took me many years, including 2 major suicide attempts, to get to the point where I could share at least a small portion of what's inside. And, even at that, it's tough. I even read posts here on PC & I'll think: "Boy... I would never write anything as personal as that!"

The thing I think helped me the most was to participate in group therapy sessions during my 2 hospitalizations. I had always told myself I would never do anything like that. But, at that point, I had to. And I found I actually enjoyed it & it helped me to open up just a bit. If some kind of group therapy situation was convenient for me to get to now, I would probably go.

I think that in real life, people are just afraid to show any signs of weakness, they have reputations to uphold, anonymity helps online. I am not as expressive in real life as I am online. But I do feel like behind every single profile is a real person.

Originally Posted by brokenentity

I understand. I don't want more friends, In fact I'm happy with the ones I do have, They're enough for me. But I can't seem to connect emotionally with them, sometimes It's my fault, sometimes it goes over their heads. Sometimes I try to be subtle, but they just don't get it. I am forced to be not so subtle, and it sort of ruins it. I expect them to pick up on things, but they just don't.

I do have a lot of interests that are in common with many people, movies, videogames, music, mysteries, that's great but it leaves me with an empty feeling afterwards, like they don't really know me. I don't want my identify to be defined by my interests/hobbies or tastes, I want people to know me for what I am.

The problem here, as I see it, Brokenentity is that a person's identity is "built" from many things. In other words, there are many facets to it. It's sort-of like a pyramid. So all of those interests you mention are parts (or facets) of your over-all identity. But at the base is who you yourself see yourself to be. And if you cannot show that part of yourself to the world, then the fact that you can show the rest of your interests, still leaves you feeling empty. It's like the base of the pyramid is still buried in the sand. Hopefully soon, the "base of your pyramid" can be uncovered & shown to the rest of the world, along with your other interests. Then I feel certain you will feel whole.