Why do I enjoy being sad?

I seem to have spells where when I get down, it almost becomes nostalgic and comforting in its awkwardness. Like I somehow revel in feeling low. Then I continue to bring myself down further by reminding myself of sad events or listening to very depressing music. Am I alone in this or does anyone else do the same?

I do this sometimes. It's been a while though.

It feels crazy. I also enjoy being on my own more often, maybe that's not such a bad thing though.

I do this. I have been depressed for so long it feels right, and when I start to feel happy I get anxious because I don't know how to handle happy feelings. Somehow they just feel wrong. I have always kinda been backwards compared to most people.

Yeah me too. It's comforting yet wrong. But when you've struggled most of your life it's like 2nd nature to me.

It's almost like one gets used to feeling that way, and when you're happy it;s almost to good to be true and i sort of expect something to happen that will bring me down again...cause lately there's always been something that gets to me..i just try to say to myself...chin up

When you revel in feeling low are you by yourself or are other people there ? or Do you think you could be " Punishing " yourself by doing that ?

I know that feeling all too well bubblyflower

Sorry bad boy I didn't see your post. I don't think I am punishing myself at the time. I think I am inadvertently doing so though. At the time it just feels like something I am familiar with so I just stay in that state of mind

ohh i have the same !! it's my way of having fun xD sounds completely crazy indeed. but i can be happy too, it doesn't feel wrong. it feels good. but im afraid it goes over soon. so this way is somehow safer or something.

I agree Melomelon....it does sometimes feel safer. It's not a full blown depression, but just a pressing ache that I keep poking at by remember things in the past that either made me sad, or make me sad now because they're gone and never to be revisited.

I think the word 'never', is the most challenging for me to get past, and when combined with memories, makes me just numb with it. I'm BPD and cycle incredibly fast so can usually switch it off rather quickly, but there's not a high after...kinda like wading back out of a pond....still wet, but at least not drowning.

In answer, yes, I do that too.

Back in the same mood tonight. Seems more apparent recently. Not just my head but my whole body appears to want to embrace the sadness like a warm old blanket. Comforting and familiar, yet so solitary and sad. Like staring up at a rain cloud and immersing yourself in its downpour and letting it roll down your skin, unable to differentiate between that and the tears pouring from your eyes

If you are not sad sometimes you have no idea what happy feels like. Turning in to yourself is sometimes a self defense mechanism to not let anyone get to close. You are lonely, but feel and rightfully so, that if you let yourself be happy that someone or something will come along to take in away and the fall is much more painful than just staying sad all the time. With each hurt, let down, lost dream, lie, esc you loose a part of yourself. Till the only thing that feels right is to be down. To shut down. You know sadness. It feels good to you and we always stick with what we know and feels "good" to us.

Now how to fix it? How to remove yourself from this hardcore funk? Forgive everyone that has ever hurt you. Take back your power. Take a chance. Don't dwell on the negative. Let yourself feel happy. Love, dance, take time to do something you love, read, paint, write something beautiful.

I hope as you read this you are feeling better than you did. That a small hint of a smile came to life and if you need to talk, We are here.

Clemfan

Sometimes I get tired of being surrounded by happy things or thoughts when I'm feeling low internally, and will just listen to sad music or think of sad thoughts in order to feel a little more connected to myself once and awhile. Plus, I've heard that people do get a sort of "good" feeling when remembering sad memories, because of a physiological effect.

I do this nearly everyday, it seems to be something I need to do like a habitual thing to overcome worry. Sounds silly but it's true.

Hello, unplugmealready. You must be getting something from doing this?

I wish you well.

I've done this too, though through loud self-flaming (and never with music, as I'm a music lover). With me it's not so much "revelry" as relief -- there's a strong moralistic tone to my depression. I don't feel I deserve to be happy, so depression brings me a weird and twisted relief that somehow "justice is being done."

That said, I don't believe anyone truly enjoys depression, and wish I could smack everyone who ever told me I wanted to be down.

's to you.

We are humans and we need to feel the whole range of emotions. People need to feel deeply.

In our culture this is forbidden. You should only have happy feelings, and shallow ones.

It's not weird to also want to experience "negative" emotions. Sadness can be a cleansing emotion.

Now I don't at all talk about wanting to be depressed as having a depressive illness. Emotions shouldn't be confused with illness.

But even in illness, listening to dark music can be comforting, because it validates how we feel. Validation is very important for us humans.

I think I do get something from it. It is a suppose.....therapeutic. but not really in a good way. It doesn't make things better, it doesn't cleanse me. It just comforts me in its own dark miserable way

I know that feeling too. You, I, none of us chose this path. We are what we are and if we could have mapped out our own lives better we probably would. We don't choose to be sufferers

I do most days too fembot067, it is almost ritual to me too. Mainly when I am alone, because I don't wish to share it with the people around me in person. I know they don't understand it

Hell,I knew the answer to that as soon as I read it.
Thus: "Addicted To Unhappiness" by Martha and
William J. Pieper. I know it sounds crazy, but it is
a error we made when we were children which is
lodged in the subconscious,which is why we don't
know we are doing it. The book actually says what
you said, 'the misery can be comforting'. Get it asap
to start recovery.
Kind Regards,
BLUEDOVE

Thanks bluedove. I'll certainly have a look at that. It might give some answers to this.

Sadness is an authentic emotion. It's part of the set. We need them all.

The pleasure of sadness is called melancholy. Enjoy!

I've heard it's comforting in that the sadness is familiar.