[mortalache]

It has been many years since I've had a close friend. I'm 25 and since about 17 I have struggled to recover from depression and the isolated state my life has been stuck in. I'm making it through full work days now (barely 6 months in though and it's still been very difficult). Though I try speaking with co-workers and sharing some, it seems hopeless I'll be able to connect for a true friendship with anyone, at work or otherwise.

I come home asking why bother continuing to make my place here in this world when all around it seems I just don't belong. To have someone to share my art with or share ideas with feels so far away, maybe only in my past and not to be hoped for in the future for everything I've lost. Distracting my thoughts only goes so far before wanting to self-injure. It is very difficult for me to sit with such constant loneliness. Sometimes I'm awake at night wondering when it will pass.

Can anyone relate? Or should I try to accept things may never change? However long my life maybe, I'm not sure I could bear to watch that unfold.

[avlady]

I went through a very very loneliness time as a teenager, I'm 53 now and never would have guessed how far I've come since junior year in college when I tried to kill myself. Fortunately it didn't t work, after that I took a vacation with some friends which woke me up. I really wasn't friends with only about 2 of the people but getting out and going somewhere changed my whole perspective.i hope you can cope and notice and ago legend when you see a friend trying to help

[alk2601]

You are not alone in feeling this way. I am 26 and also struggling a lot with depression and the ensuing isolation it fosters. I often feel like I will never have the ability to build healthy relationships with people.

But I guess hearing from other people like you gives me hope. I think we just need to find more people like ourselves to interact with, who would understand where we are coming from.

[AstridLovelight]

I can definitely relate. Loneliness is something I've dealt with my entire life. And I so get what you wrote about wanting someone to share art and ideas with. It's almost a physical ache within me sometimes.

But I can't--won't--believe that things will never change. Because they will, that's just the nature of this world. Things change, and we ourselves change, often when we least expect the changes to occur. As cliched as it sounds, you really never know what's around the next corner. So don't give up.

For me--and perhaps you feel the same way--I find compassion towards others--or as much as I can muster--to be the most soothing tool to ease the loneliness.

Anyway, I wish you well and I hope you'll accept a hug from a new friend

[mortalache]

Originally Posted by alk2601

I often feel like I will never have the ability to build healthy relationships with people.

But I guess hearing from other people like you gives me hope. I think we just need to find more people like ourselves to interact with, who would understand where we are coming from.

Yes, building healthy relationships...Perhaps I even scare people away by sharing too little or even too much somehow. I don't know anymore, but I think you're right. I'm more willing than I ever have been to speaking to others. I just haven't met the right individuals and there's no reason to think it won't happen given the right opportunity. Luck does play a part in this too, along with an open mind and willingness.

Originally Posted by AstridLovelight

I can definitely relate. Loneliness is something I've dealt with my entire life. And I so get what you wrote about wanting someone to share art and ideas with. It's almost a physical ache within me sometimes.

But I can't--won't--believe that things will never change. Because they will, that's just the nature of this world. Things change, and we ourselves change, often when we least expect the changes to occur. As cliched as it sounds, you really never know what's around the next corner. So don't give up.

For me--and perhaps you feel the same way--I find compassion towards others--or as much as I can muster--to be the most soothing tool to ease the loneliness.

Anyway, I wish you well and I hope you'll accept a hug from a new friend

Thank you, AstridLovelight. I've experienced that physical ache too and it opened my eyes to just how badly it's affected me these years. And yes, change is about the only real constant. I think I give far more weight to things changing for the worst rather than better and I've really tried to work on my thought patterns. I didn't want to admit how demoralized I've become, but it's hard to ignore now.

Sometimes I make and send letters in cards to various people I have addresses to from over the years. None are close friends, but I always hope one day one of those letters might be given a reply. I wish the lack of response didn't hurt how it does, because I can't expect to be on anyone's list of important enough people, but you know. It's a very small hope that one day I will be considered enough to be given that bit of time. It helps just to say it would make me happy to receive a nice letter, so those who receive mine may feel that way too and appreciate it all the same.

Anyway, thank you guys for listening.

[Artchic528]

I'm lonely too, but getting used to the fact that I will never have the closeness I so deeply desire. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I managed.

[AstridLovelight]

That's beautiful that you write letters to people, mortalache. It's a lost art. And I know the lack of response must be painful. But you know what, it sounds like you're making a real effort and doing your best all around. And as frustrating as I know it is, don't give up

[H-H-H-H]

Maybe of interest:

The Roots of Loneliness | Psych Central

[mortalache]

Originally Posted by H-H-H-H

Maybe of interest:

The Roots of Loneliness | Psych Central

Very helpful article Thank you.

Originally Posted by AstridLovelight

That's beautiful that you write letters to people, mortalache. It's a lost art. And I know the lack of response must be painful. But you know what, it sounds like you're making a real effort and doing your best all around. And as frustrating as I know it is, don't give up

I really appreciate the support. I'm not used to such help and I'm thankful. Having more patience may be part of my problem, but that's always been difficult to stop thinking about. All the time I'm losing by not being as well as I probably should be by now. But you're right, I do have somethings I'll continue to do, like my letter writing. The bit of joy it gives me is worth enough and maybe one day it will open unexpected conversation with those who receive.

I was also accepted into a women's choir about three months ago, but despite performing with the group and even dragging myself to one of their parties, I can't seem to connect with the women there either. Quitting the choir as I've considered would shut down all opportunities for this to change though. So I'll try to hang in there and see what surprises may happen.

[AstridLovelight]

That's very cool about the women's choir! Sounds like you have the right idea about giving it more time. Even if you don't connect with people there, at least you're doing something you enjoy, something for yourself.

And good for you for keeping on with the letter writing!

But I can totally relate to having trouble connecting with people. I don't know why that is. I'm told I'm personable and I'm generally pretty friendly and polite and considerate and all that stuff but there so often seems to be this unbridgeable chasm between me and other people. I haven't had a true friend in years and years. I keep hoping and praying that I can change whatever it is in me that's causing that.

Anyway, keep me posted on how you're doing!

[amandaag010]

I know I'm really late but I just recently joined this forum and I could really relate. I feel extremely lonely and I feel that I don't have anyone precious to share life experience or be open with. I'm not very close to my family.
The good friend I have lives far away so it's just me alone here. I get on people's nerves when I contact them all the time, it makes me angry at myself.