When I'm around other people I feel like the 5th wheel.

I'm always the one that feels like no one really cares to much about what I say or even that I'm there at all. If there's one other person in the room I still feel that way no matter who it is. People often ask me where I was when I'm not there for some reason or other, but don't seem to notice when I am, and I never understood why people ask in the first place. I've never felt like I belonged anyplace, and every time I tried to fit in wound up blowing up in my face. Is there some polite way of getting out of things and just avoiding people all together? Sometimes people do give off the vibe that they really just don't like me. Others I just don't think they notice I'm feeling left out, and 9 times in 10 when I'm in a group,, the conversation is about things I don't know anything about and have nothing at all to contribute. I try to talk about anything that interests me and the conversation quickly gets shifted to something else as fast as possible. I'm the guy that's at a party sitting in the corner just waiting for the party to be over just so I can leave. I never have fun around people. It's not that I'm anti social I just gave up after years of trying to fit in, and no one quite getting me. Thanks for reading my rant. I don't know what to do anymore. Pretty much every social situation is the same for me. If I knew how to move someplace else I would. I don't know that that would change anything or not.

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You say you have interests, but do you visit places where someone else is likely to have similar interests?
Trying to fit in is not necessarily the best path to finding acceptance.

Someone is inviting you out socially right? Otherwise how do you end up at these events? So there is at least one person interested in you.

Most social conversations are trivial and boring. You will not fit in because you are smarter than than the common topics and the kind of people that talk that way. You seek more interesting and deeper subject matter, and smarter people.

Sorry you feel like that.
Do you feel nervous when you see that you can't contribute in the topics? Bc if not, it's sometimes good to listen and learn from them.
Do you feel the same in any group or were there people you felt that you could share more with?
Is it a question of topics or that you feel inferior in relation to them?

I also always feel like an outsider so I only have questions for you, sorry.
I can tell you what I do when I'm force to be in a group.
When I'm not nervious and go to the bathroom, I try to listen and make an effort to go into the topic they are talking about, often by making them questions. I try to do the very best to avoid being absolutely silent ( I feel very bad when I'm stuck- this is the time when I make an excuse to abandom the group for a moment and try to calm myself down) or calling the attention bc it's too much pressure.

Sorry for the long ().

I am sorry that you are going through this and I believe that I suffer from the same problem. I go places with people but whenever the conversation talks about something that I do not fully understand it seems that the conversation always stays there and there is nothing that I can say because I don't know anything about it. I usually get off to myself and just sit there and wait. I feel this way about family too a lot. I usually just go watch tv with the kids in the house because they are so into watching tv or talking about things that I have an understanding through life experiences. In other instances I do not want to talk about those things but I can't tell them that because they are already into talking about it. In the chat rooms here if I enter and they are already chatting about something and I don't understand I usually leave the room. I feel isolated and assume that they do not want to hear what I want to say because it is boring or not important. I have been told that I may be projecting the idea that I am not important instead of actually being non important. If this is the case then it is hard to overcome.

As far as the chat rooms, I enjoy going but sometimes I just sit and listen because they are usually so busy typing that I cannot keep up..as far as you not chatting, don't assume no one wants to hear what you may have to say, maybe they need to hear your opinion..you just might help someone hear something they needed to hear..

Floridaman, I think it's what you pointed out.
If you feel inferior, all you body and your face are going to express it.
So, people as an innate ability are going to catch it up.

Many psychogical problems have in common the low self-steem. It takes work to get a better self-steem but you all can get it. The help of therapy is very useful to change these thought patters and working in social skills as well.

Hi, I can relate to most of what you said! I hate socializing in groups! It's so hard to keep up with so many people at once! Then there's always that one person who won't let anyone get a word in edgewise! All they do is talk and talk, ugh!

Maybe you'd be better off socializing with someone one on one or in a small group of maybe two or three people at the most who share common interests? I'm always better off talking to people one on one, although I do struggle with social issues still and knowing what to talk about sometimes.

I'm not the best at picking up on social cues. I hate most parties since most people don't bother talking to me. Maybe next time you can find one person there who seems out of place too to talk to? Or you could just ask questions instead of trying to figure out what to say? Most people love talking about themselves. If they talk about a certain movie for example that you didn't see, ask them if it was any good.

If you did see it, then talk about that and what you liked or didn't like about it. If all else fails, compliment someone on making a funny comment, their clothing, or some other thing about them that you think they'll respond well to. Maybe if you know the host well enough, you can ask them or a mutual friend to introduce you to the people there.

I don't know if that'll all work for sure as some groups aren't very friendly, especially if they mostly know each other. Just read some stuff on here on how to talk to people in groups on youtube or something like that, and maybe that'll help you out. Honestly though, talking to other people one on one usually works for people like us the best, so maybe take baby steps and start with that.

The weird thing is when I'm quiet and just listen to the group, the topic of conversation changes like I'm eavesdropping, and it's at that point I have no interest in anything anyone has to say. It even happens when I am standing right in front of someone obviously waiting for them to say something I could reply to. It's as though they don't really want me there even though if it's a family thing my family made me go, I don't get it, if I have to go, at least treat me like you do everyone else.

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when you asked if there is a polite way to get out of things so you can avoid people altogether, I totally get that. Especially at the last minute I never want to go. I hate having to socialize in groups. I just sit there and do not say anything, and if a topic comes up that i can contribute to and I say something, people don't really pay attention and then i just feel stupid. my husband's family is so outgoing whenever we are at a family gathering (and they gather for just about everything. ugh.) i am so out of place, even after almost 8 years...

I have the same problem. Anymore, I just shut most people out with the exception of a few and I mean a very few online friends. I am not implying that you should do the same though Fleury29.

I completely understand what you are saying. I feel the same way. It is as if I can disappear from the earth and nobody will notice. I find that the best thing is to talk to people one on one. Big groups are just too scary.