so emotional about to pop

I haven't been in here in a long time. I just need to vent if anyone has something to share/suggest feel free to do so. Yesterday, my married couple friends invited me to their house for hanging out and dinner. We had a long conversation about my issues previous relationship, work, all these interviews, etc my people skills.

Her hubby was so blunt about me which I didn't like and it hurt but it's the truth. I'm about to pop right now, so many emotions. I am about to have another emotional breakdown right now so much stress I am enduring in my life it feels like **** isn't getting better, feel like my career can't seem to take off, and I'm so codependent it isn't even funny. Nothing in my life right now isn't moving fast enough can't seem to move to where I want to go since I am part time I am almost 30.

This is so ****ing ridiculous gotta dread going to work tomorrow. Everything is still taking so god damn long for things to make a 360 turn around for me. I haven't seen my therapist in a month, got kicked off of state insurance, and if I reapply I will end up having another full time job elsewhere plus with the state it takes 45 business days for them to make a decision. Patience and waiting has gone way too ****ing far....

I don't have the income to pay out of pocket for therapy. I need to go to bed finish this up later...

With friends like those...

My opinion is that that guy is a holier-than-thou *******. His life must be just so perfect that he thinks he can afford being the abusive jerk that he is.

You already have enough problems, you don't need those condescending types around you to put you down.

You need people who can help you lift yourself up. If you can't find people that add positives to your life, then I think you're better off on your own.

Take care.

He never said it was. He was getting me to be open and honest about myself telling me I need to stop living in the past. He asked me why did you pick a guy your ex with no ambition to date? Do you feel you are not worthy? He's very blunt so am I he told me how he was angry at his ex wife died going through a grievance. I don't feel worthy because I loved my ex so much I didn't want to be lonely.

I mean I'm about to pop even more because of my life still isn't getting better on its own I'm not living in a happy environment. If I could take a year off from work I would but I really can't. I'd love to take a mini vacation in another county if I could. I'm still broke I can't seem to start a new life being on my own. He's very positive he said I value myself that I wouldn't date someone with zero ambition.

I agree!

That's what he was telling me on dating someone with no ambition. I still haven't been in a place where I can actually feel worthy guess that's why I always seem to end up in relationships where they are abusive and codependent.

They were being mean to you because you made yourself open to it. Some will take advantage of you, and dump their own sour feelings on you. Best to keep that kind of whining to yourself and to this forum, and you will feel much better. No need to pop a spring.

Well on a side note I'm still dealing with **** I gotta finish up my application for state insurance before I can see therapist however once I go full time I have to go to private practice. I swear nothing Isn't going fast enough for me right now I'm not happy it feels like I'm still surviving not yet thriving or feeling alive. I'm still doing too much like always god when will it end again so I can relax and have peace?

I get a lot out of my Free Support Group.
We meet once per week.
It's thru NAMI DBSA.

I would go to the women's center for support group haven't been in a long time. I wish I could see my therapist now.

You are being a good Warrior for yourself! Keep itup, and aways hope there will be more to fight for in life. If that stops, then you are really in trouble. There is no quick fix, or instant gratification to solving our problems.

ladytiger-i feel for you and i see you're coping. i get that way and actually have been feeling that way for about a week now. just to let you know your not alone. i sometimes wish my t was available when i needed her too. hang in there and have a cup of tea if you have the energy to make one.

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Sorry to hear that. Just tell people like that to not talk to you like that as nicely as you can. Then don't ever open up to them again. If you feel as if someone is going to judge you unfairly, then keep whatever that problem is to yourself.

Come on here or talk to supportive people or a therapist instead. I know how that feels. A lot of people tend to have a judgemental attitude towards those with mental health issues unfortunately- Be careful with who you place your trust in. Do something that you enjoy like shopping, watching some good shows on t.v, spending time with friends, reading, listenting to music, etc....

They could tell I hold a lot of stuff in which is true I do even my therapist sees that a lot. Honestly, I haven't been doing a lot of fun stuff lately I have been concentrating on getting a full time job and moving then I can enjoy the fun stuff again. I am always listening to music. I just don't feel why people (talking about people in general) always gotta pry into my darkest realms that they have no knowledge of where they can see the shattered pieces of my soul.

30 yrs old this week, am I 10 again? People always *****ing and complaining to me why can't they know me in the present not the past?

True. I am still feeling this way even now still go to work with a fake *** smile on my face. I was spending my time at coffee shops by myself lately just to have my mind escape from the bs at work and enjoying hot coffee.

I'm emotional and laugh and cry in the same minute.