:(

I thought i was better and i thought everything was going to be ok… But things are getting worse especially today. Im 15 a girl and i am adopted. One of the things i wanted to talk about is my adoptive mother. I have so many complicated and mixed feelings for her. But i do know that i love her because she is my mom. She has never shown me that she loves me back. Practically everything she does around me is fake. And she treats me like im nothing that im a waste of her time and that i deserve it all. The past month when i nearly broke my leg and was in more pain ive been in my life she didnt show she cared. She refused to take me to the hospital. And i had no one else to turn to bc we were on a trip. She gave me some pills and said now your better.
But this isnt what im talking about ^--- that wasnt the first time she didnt care when i got hurt. I do remember some sincere things that shes said to me that really stole my heart and made my day because they were real and she meant them. And when she treats me right i love her so much. I forgive her for all the hurtful and harmful things shes done and things she hasnt done to and for me - everything. But then there are days like today when it all comes crumbling down… She makes me doubt myself feel like a loser who should be in pain, she makes me feel like dying slowly. I wonder if this is because im adopted that it doesnt matter because im not really her kid… I have done nothing to her all day but she still hates me more than anything or anybody in the world. I havent cut in almost 2months and im trying to be strong but its hard...

Hi DaX: I'm sorry you are continuing to struggle with this. I know, from reading your previous posts, that it has been going on for a long time. Of course, I don't know if how your mom treats you is because you were adopted. I suppose it could be. But it may also simply be the type of person she is. There are certainly many people out there whose biological parents have treated them equally badly.

I wish I had some suggestions for you here. I am heartened by the fact you have not cut in 2 months & are trying to be strong. I can imagine how difficult this must be for you. I hope that, in some way you can manage to believe this is not your fault. It is your mom's issue. And despite how she treats you, you are a good person who is deserving of love & support. So I send hugs your way with the hope that you might be able to find deep peace within...

Hi,
I feel your hurt and pain. Your problems stem not from your adopted mother but what you endured before the adoption. I don't know your circumstances but abandonment in or losing the natural mother affects/scares every child. In childhood the most frequent cause of nightmares or night terrors are cased by fear of abandonment by the mother.
Your anger is really aimed at your natural mother, or mother figure before you were adopted. Try to make peace with your adoptive mum and with yourself.

Analyzing your mom in order to fully understand her obvious deficiencies would likely be quite a project and maybe even impossible, but please hear my full agreement that you are not the problem and that your own right thoughts and actions in the face of her horrible ones are to be commended. I am an old man who knows nothing about being a young girl, but you do not have long to go before you can emancipate yourself from there and everyone who possibly can will support you all along the way.

Hey. In agreement with everyone else; You are not the problem and do not ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
Your adoptive mother is very wrong to behave the way she does, it's fairly obvious, and is not doing a good job as a mother. When she made the choice to have a child (adopt you), she made the choice to undertake everything that comes along with being a mother; even all the difficulties, consequences, and responsibilities. It's a no-brainer.
Not caring for your child and refusing to give them the aid they need when they have an accident? That is awful.I'm so sorry to hear it.

It's good to hear that you love her for being your mom, but do not feel as though you have to love her as much as possible just because she is your mom- you would have every right to have conflicted opinions on her from what she has done to you.

To me, it kind of sounds like... I don't know, some form of mental abuse or manipulation, maybe? The fact that she very often makes you feel like you are worth nothing- making you feel that way at all, is just beyond me. That is not what a mother should do, and raises a big concern. It's really not healthy for the mind. And the way in which she occasionally acts nice in order to make you forgive her everything and keep her in good light again, well, think about it. Doesn't it sound kind of like some sort of manipulation and mental harm?

I really feel for you, and I honestly wish I could be there for you and give you a hug . I wish your mom would wake up and realize that what she is doing is wrong, and that she begin to treat you the way you deserve.

Btw, please don't feel as though I am trying to antagonize your mom as much as possible- I simply want to put forth what I think. I myself am a 15 year old (turning 16 in December) girl, and I really value my relationship with my mom- even when times are really difficult and we become distant, I love her to bits.
I hope my reply helped you in some way or another and that you feel better. If you ever feel as though you need to talk, know that you are not alone in this community, and feel free to post more or PM me if you'd like.

I missed this thread.. Dax, I'm so sorry to hear this I wish I could help you someohow

Please, feel free to talk to me when you want.. you're a very strong, kind, smart persone, never forget that

(((((DaX15)))))