[kala83]

so I just feel empty and loney inside.....it really just makes no sense at all. I mean I am engaged I have friend in my life, not ones that I talk to all the time...but they are still there in my life.

I have trust issues with making new friends and some of the new ones I have made just don't really talk to me that often or very selectively and it makes me feel self conscious and I wonder if I can trust this person.

even when the person really does seem like a good person.

I also ended up failing my certification test to become a CNA and I really, really wanted this so of course its been really eating me up inside.

I feel really ashamed and embarrassed by it all, although I am going to go through the course again....I just feel horrid.

AND my birthday is coming up in like three days...and I honestly don't even feel happy about it. I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things but that's just becoming more and more hard to do for me.

[gayleggg]

Sounds like you may be suffering from depression. Sorry you didn't pass your test. You can take it again, right? I hope so. Trust is a hard issue for a lot of us on PC. I don't trust most people. I have one friend and I can't always count on her being there for me, so it's kinda of sad. Hang in there.

[Skeezyks]

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate so much to this.. I'm really sorry Be kind to yourself.

[kala83]

difantly have been trying to be thats for sure....just been difficult.

the problem with the test was that I actually took the test three times which is the max amount you can take it so I now i have to do the whole course and clinical hours for it again.
which I am willing to do, cause i honestly want this that badly. I just have noticed since the winter months begain and the winter weather I am just not feeling as much myself like at all toward much of anything.

and to make it worse I feel like its now starting to effect me and my primary partner. Cause he has been more moody as of late also.

I also have a young dog in the house that I need really badly to get into obidence classes cause his bad habbits need to stop and stop stop soon if at all possible.

I have multiple girlfriends that don't particuarly live close by and I feel horrible that I don't spend that much time with them. I try to talk to them and keep in touch as often as I possibly can. But that ends up being hard.

I am also worried that retaking this course again I am not going to have a lot of money for helping with rent and bills. I mean the whole point of me doing this was to hopefully get a secondary job.

I am just going to have to crack down on getting as much extra hours as I can...even when I am doing school.

I also do web cam modeling so I am thinking I will probably try to do that more also just to help bring in more money but I am really stuck in this situation and pretty much most everything about it makes me feel like crap.

at this point if I get money for christmas its probably gonna go to helping pay for rent and bills.