not in the mood for much of anything

so I just feel empty and loney inside.....it really just makes no sense at all. I mean I am engaged I have friend in my life, not ones that I talk to all the time...but they are still there in my life.

I have trust issues with making new friends and some of the new ones I have made just don't really talk to me that often or very selectively and it makes me feel self conscious and I wonder if I can trust this person.

even when the person really does seem like a good person.

I also ended up failing my certification test to become a CNA and I really, really wanted this so of course its been really eating me up inside.

I feel really ashamed and embarrassed by it all, although I am going to go through the course again....I just feel horrid.

AND my birthday is coming up in like three days...and I honestly don't even feel happy about it. I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things but that's just becoming more and more hard to do for me.

Sounds like you may be suffering from depression. Sorry you didn't pass your test. You can take it again, right? I hope so. Trust is a hard issue for a lot of us on PC. I don't trust most people. I have one friend and I can't always count on her being there for me, so it's kinda of sad. Hang in there.

I can relate so much to this.. I'm really sorry Be kind to yourself.

difantly have been trying to be thats for sure....just been difficult.

the problem with the test was that I actually took the test three times which is the max amount you can take it so I now i have to do the whole course and clinical hours for it again.
which I am willing to do, cause i honestly want this that badly. I just have noticed since the winter months begain and the winter weather I am just not feeling as much myself like at all toward much of anything.

and to make it worse I feel like its now starting to effect me and my primary partner. Cause he has been more moody as of late also.

I also have a young dog in the house that I need really badly to get into obidence classes cause his bad habbits need to stop and stop stop soon if at all possible.

I have multiple girlfriends that don't particuarly live close by and I feel horrible that I don't spend that much time with them. I try to talk to them and keep in touch as often as I possibly can. But that ends up being hard.

I am also worried that retaking this course again I am not going to have a lot of money for helping with rent and bills. I mean the whole point of me doing this was to hopefully get a secondary job.

I am just going to have to crack down on getting as much extra hours as I can...even when I am doing school.

I also do web cam modeling so I am thinking I will probably try to do that more also just to help bring in more money but I am really stuck in this situation and pretty much most everything about it makes me feel like crap.

at this point if I get money for christmas its probably gonna go to helping pay for rent and bills.