I clearly can't do anything right. I fail at being an adult and clearly won't ever be able to be fully functional without somebody taking care of me.

I can't even cook freaking pancakes right. I had some pancake mix that I got from a food drive last Dec when I needed help with getting food during the holidays, and I haven't been able to use it because I haven't been able to afford any pots and pans to cook with until recently.

I was looking forward to cooking some of my meals to save money and I went out of my way to start with pancakes, but even after measuring everything right, I can't seem to get it into the skillet without messing it up.

Finally, I gave up and got angry and threw everything across the wall and I might have even damaged the cookware that I just bought in the process.

Such a shame too because this pancake mix is the high quality organic stuff and I badly want to eat it, but it's too hard to cook them myself.

I hate myself. I deserve death for being so stupid.

[winter4me]

Give yourself a break. Pancakes aren't as easy as they seem. Once you get the hang of it you will be able to do this---I get the frustration though----I think you need to be able to really slow down when trying something new (I know I do or I mess it up)---
Cooking is a funny thing for me---my mother never let me into the kitchen, she was a good cook, I left home not knowing how to boil an egg---and I ended up learning to cook in the kitchen of a diner---(where I found out potatoes are par boiled before making home fries...and I had to hide my ignorance, just watch and mimic----it actually worked....but was a bit unnerving....) Give yourself a hug, and it helps, if you can, to bring some humor to any situation---((((hug))))----
pancakes, you have to leave lumps in the batter and, once poured into a preheated pan, do not turn until the entire top is covered with tiny bubbles. the directions can seem simple but really pancakes are tricky----that is why even many diners/etc don't do them all that well....((((((((hug))))))))

[bipolar angel]

What winter4me said. I also thought pancakes would be easy to make...you can laugh at me/i can urs now after it hapoened. I followed a from scratch recipe yrs ago,stirred it up, got it into pan..saw the bubbles before i flipped it-mine were like little hockey pucks!hard! I could not figure out what i did.
Now, i buy Betty Crocker or some other instant mix-so i only have to add few 5hings,stir and cook. I do preheat the pan-as abive/it says it on directions,too, use my nonstick cook spray, watch for 5he bubbles before flipping.
Do not feel gad-it does take practice. Im in my 50s,and even now,sometimes i make it too thick and middle doesnt cook...so i just pour more pancake mix and make another.
I do find i have to focus while doing it,not be loading my dishwasher/talk on phone at same time..
You will get the hang of it,just go slow and give yourself permission to try...not have to be perfect. Hugs to you,if you want them.

I consider myself a gourmet cook yet there are two things I just can't seem to make mashed potatoes, and yes, pancakes.

So try not to be so hard on yourself.. Don't expect perfection the first time you try to do something. Besides, perfect people are boring and not very likeable.

[Thunder Bow]

If you never made them before, pancakes can be frustrating. I have thrown my TV dinner at Trump on the TV once.

[MickeyCheeky]

You're trying your best and that's what matters.

[IowaFarmGal]

Pancakes are one of my staples and I make them all the time, but still sometimes they don't turn out right. I'm so sorry you had trouble! Please don't feel bad about yourself!

I read some of your posts and I often wish I lived in the USA so I could meet you irl and just help you out in more practical ways than posting on here. I am a middle aged woman twice your age and you make me feel like looking after you. Stop beating yourself up. You have such a tough life, cut yourself a break. God knows you need one. Hugs from England.

[winter4me]

All of the above.

I feel the same way. For example, I tried to clean my closet today, but right off the bat the curtain fell halfway off the door frame (there's not an actual door there anymore, because that fell off also, a couple years ago), and then hangers kept falling on me, so finally I took the hint and just gave up, leaving the mess on the floor. Every time I take proactive steps to improve my quality of life something like that always happens, seems like. And I cringe every time somebody says I should give myself more credit, or that things like that just happen, or worse, that I should be kind to myself (YUCK) because I don't see them struggle to the same extent, and with such basic tasks, the way that I do. They have normal struggles, whereas I struggle with the everyday tasks of LIFE. It's like, so I should be kind to myself for being totally incompetent??

Man I was having such a rough day when I posted this but I'm feeling better.

I can cook some things pretty well. I can cook most meats and can even make some amazing fajitas and I'm amazing at cooking a salad, but pancakes and rice I still royally suck at.

I have the tendency to get angry at the smallest things when something triggers me without meaning to which is what happened to me when I made this thread.

I am embaressed now lol

[TiredPilgrim]

Don't be embarrassed. We all have difficult times now and then.

Oh my gosh I can so relate to the tearing yourself up over frustrations.

Pancakes are tricky - but good for you giving it a shot, next time you might find better, practice makes perfect. The real tricky bit is not turning your frustrations in on yourself.

My progress in not tearing myself to bits is to take a deep breath, ask what's the damage, try to see the funny side - give myself a break.

Honestly I have many years of screwing up in many different ways - giving myself a break is a necessity.

[Entity06]

Pancakes, fried eggs and fries are the only things I can cook and I still have to show the pancake mix to my mother to make sure it's the right consistency.

I think when you're not used to cooking, it's like with anything, you're going to be quite clumsy because you have no or too little practice.

And I too often get super frustrated and quickly run out of patience when I try something and it's not going well

[avlady]

I agree with ennui and others. Its a lifetime thing too. They won't come out right every time and it takes practice. you pick one of the messiiest things to cook too. don't be down on yourself is what i'm trying to say.good luck

[Ljj7000]

Please don't criticize yourself. Sometimes, I feel like a failure. But you just have to rise above that feeling. I'm sure that you are a good person. As long as you are a good person and you treat others with respect, then you shouldn't feel bad about yourself.

[-jimi-]

I can make good pancakes. The rest of my life is chaos. I have noticed the simple things are the hard ones for me and I somehow have to accept that. It takes some guts to say to yourself that this is NOT EASY. This is a hard task. It will take focus and energy, might not go well and will leave me tired. I'm not by any means stupid. I can do things other people find hard. I have no idea why it is hard for them.

It's just life. Never accept someone saying something is easy if you don't find it so. I don't go round telling people what I find easy and claim it is easy for everyone. I have no desire to put people down. Others should do me the same favor, but they don't, and I just need to ignore that and realize what is real, instead of seeing myself through their eyes. Hard but there aren't many other options.

[Rizzar]

Perhaps of interest: Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...ys-to-move-on/