[Monarch Butterfly]

I'm scheduled for surgery in a few weeks. I was filling in my pre op forms and avoided writing I have PTSD. One page listed a variety of medical conditions (diabetes etc) and you mark the ones you have. I did check anxiety.

My family doctor filled in a portion and added a few print outs of my medical history. It included PTSD, moody, social phobia, anxiety, depression.

Now I feel vulnerable. I'm use to keeping my PTSD a secret. Why? I'm afraid of judgment. I left an abusive relationship five years ago. My ex was very violent. I was always talked down to. Sometimes he never allowed me medical treatment for injuries or delayed taking me. And I was threatened not to tell the truth how the injuries occurred. I needed surgery from the old injuries he caused after I left him. I became brave and told doctors the truth my old injuries are from domestic violence. Some made awful, judging comments. Other people judged me. I started acting tough, I can handle this. I avoided crying, telling others I feel nervous etc. Bad experiences with family ignoring or dismissing me if I mention I feel upset or nervous.

I tell myself surgery day they are focusing on my physical medical condition. Yet I feel vulnerable.

The social phobia threw me off guard. My family doctor never mentioned it before or diagnosed me. I have seen a psychologist in the past. Unless my family doctor knows the signs or symptoms?

I tend to feel nervous around authority figures (doctors). Past judgment and blame from the abuse. Sometimes I feel shy or nervous. I avoided making appointments for certain medical issues because it reminds me of the past judgment and abuse. Maybe I have social phobia?

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, it's understandable why would you feel traumatized.. I'm so sorry you've had a bad experience with doctors You're stroing. I'm sure you can do it.

I am so sorry for what you've been through. How dare those doctors judge you!!!! I've experienced the judgement too, it's like they think you are dirty or deserving....it's as if they are looking at you thinking "what did you do to deserve this". I'm so very sorry. You are not to blame. You ARE strong and TOUGH. Good luck on your surgery and I'm so very sorry you've been dealing with their judgements on top of that trauma. I hope you find a way to heal, and find supportive people and doctors to help you through all this.

[Marylin]

You are not to blame for the abuse,those doctors are shameful to treat you that way.You are doing well to get through all you have been through and cope with all those mental health conditions.Hold on you will get through the surgery and the physical harm will be healed.Then you must work on healing your emotional wounds and that takes time ,patience and lots of self love.I know I have just cut my family out of my life and they abused me for the best part of 37 years,physically,emotional,verbal,mental,psychological violence aimed at using me as a slave and driving me to suicide.Never feel as if you are to blame for abuse towards you,the abuser is to blame,you have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of.I am here anytime you need a shoulder to lean on.PM me anytime.

[Fuzzybear]

Shame on those doctors.....

Those are 'labels' they are not 'you' - you are so much more than a list of dx (which can often be inaccurate anyway).

Not all Drs are like the judgemental ones you met, many of them are kind and compassionate, and they certainly get to see the broad spectrum of life - I hope that you will have your faith in medics restored by a more positive experience - you deserve that.

My advice: pity them because you're a lot more resilient than they could ever hope to be because you have gone through more pain and hardship than they could ever handle and here's why:

Doctors like that are what I call "overly educated idiots" which basically means that all they are good at is reading a bunch of books and overly complicated medical jargon and they think that that makes them some sort of genius, yet they lack any ability to think outside the box and they use their "book smarts" to act like they're better than everybody else and put people down to fill some type of void in their life.

Also it is my experience that most Doctors come from wealthy families and have all of their needs provided and everything they need to go to medical school given to them on a silver platter, therefore, they are incapable of understanding what you're going through.

[Monarch Butterfly]

Thank you everyone for your support. The surgery I had few days ago was not for past abuse injury.

The very recent surgery was from a traumatic incident, injury, not related to the abuse. None of the nurses or surgeons brought up my past mental health history surgery day.

[Marylin]

Oh Monarch butterfly I am glad the surgery went ok and that none of the doctors or nurses brought up your past mental health history.I hope you are better now!

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Monarch Butterfly

I'm scheduled for surgery in a few weeks. I was filling in my pre op forms and avoided writing I have PTSD. One page listed a variety of medical conditions (diabetes etc) and you mark the ones you have. I did check anxiety.

My family doctor filled in a portion and added a few print outs of my medical history. It included PTSD, moody, social phobia, anxiety, depression.

Now I feel vulnerable. I'm use to keeping my PTSD a secret. Why? I'm afraid of judgment. I left an abusive relationship five years ago. My ex was very violent. I was always talked down to. Sometimes he never allowed me medical treatment for injuries or delayed taking me. And I was threatened not to tell the truth how the injuries occurred. I needed surgery from the old injuries he caused after I left him. I became brave and told doctors the truth my old injuries are from domestic violence. Some made awful, judging comments. Other people judged me. I started acting tough, I can handle this. I avoided crying, telling others I feel nervous etc. Bad experiences with family ignoring or dismissing me if I mention I feel upset or nervous.

I tell myself surgery day they are focusing on my physical medical condition. Yet I feel vulnerable.

The social phobia threw me off guard. My family doctor never mentioned it before or diagnosed me. I have seen a psychologist in the past. Unless my family doctor knows the signs or symptoms?

I tend to feel nervous around authority figures (doctors). Past judgment and blame from the abuse. Sometimes I feel shy or nervous. I avoided making appointments for certain medical issues because it reminds me of the past judgment and abuse. Maybe I have social phobia?

I'm not sure if this will help but work at at a hospital and I come across many diagnoses. When we see ptsd it's the same as looking at your allergies and name. We don't talk about it and we don't really pay attention to it. We are more concerned with what you're in for and addressing that issue.

The only time we lol at behavior is when a patient is actually having high anxiety and really showing it or when our patients run through an exit door. Then we try to figure out the nature behind the behavior. Otherwise you're golden. So many people come in with that diagnosis. Most people that have come back from the military have that diagnosis as well. No need to worry.