Positivity is a way of coping with the negativity I and many others experience in their minds due to their MI. I can only speak for myself and cheer others on here. My experience is that positivity can help. So can a dose of reality. Sometimes, we can get so wrapped up on the worry / negative / depressed / rumination carousel, we cannot see the truth: That it's going to be ok. That it's not as big a deal as we are making it out to be in our heads. Sometimes positivity doesn't help. But sometimes it does. I myself am not at a place yet, where I can always pull myself out of the storm on my own. Sometimes I find help by talking to someone more objective. Anyway, this thread is about positive thinking as a way of coping. Sisabel's thread inspired me to make this thread.

Is there a positive side to what you are upset about today? Is there a silver lining to something that makes you annoyed or upset? What are you grateful for? Is it possible that what you are worried about is actually not as big a deal as you think? Is there a way to reframe your dread / disappointment / self criticism in a more realistic way or more kind, gentle, or positive way?

[Raindropvampire]

Well the silver lining to my car breaking down is that there is a recall that is going into effect in late September and I'll be reimbursed for the tow and repair. Don't know about the car rental yet but hopefully they will take care of it as well. SO trying to focus on that positive instead of what a hassle all this is.

Knitchick, what a great thread! I LOVE it!!!!!

I am grateful to have work at least, despite ALL my misgivings and fears.

The silver lining is I am able to pay for all things that I want to purchase right now, including concert tix for upcoming shows me and boyfriend really want to see. The extra money helps since I didn't have any when only working part-time. The other silver lining? Perhaps I needed to to land here first in order to figure out what I'm really good at and where I need to go next. Maybe it's a stepping stone as opposed to a mistake, is a more positive way of looking at it.

[seesaw]

I like this, KnitChick. One of the things I learned recently is that what is going on with you internally is NOT who you are. So you can let what's going on with you internally run your life, or you can recognize, that's just what's going on with me internally right now.

Seesaw

Love, love, love this KnitChick! Great job!!!!!❤️ Thank you so much for putting this together for us.

Everyday I can look at where I came from and be amazed at where I am. There was a time I wished for the very things I have in my life right now and never thought I would have them. Especially a very loving and kind husband. Even the job that stresses me out so much is something I spent years training for... and passing exams for... so it’s something I aspired to and worked hard for.

That’s what I have to retrain my brain to think about when I want to resort to negative thinking. The negative thinking path is a very well-worn path inside my head. I want to spend at least a small amount of time spend every day reflecting on those positive things and experiences in my life so I can make that a new pathway in my brain. ❤️

Wow, I really liked reading your guys' posts in this! I'm also glad that this resonates with other people as well. I didn't think me and Sisabel would be the only ones!

Today is going better for me. I talked to someone about my worries and thoughts yesterday, and it really not only relieved a lot of pressure building up in me, but it also put things in perspective for me.

Things I am grateful for today:
1. My day is going better. So is my mood.
2. I didn't have to volunteer today, even though I was willing to
3. I woke up and the morning was peaceful. I got "coffee" with someone at Dunkin.
4. I have been feeling productive. I did some laundry.
5. I'm looking forward to a get together at a church I'm going to
6. I rediscovered a good book: Intuitive Eating.

[orangyred]

Good post! I've been trying to retrain my brain as well to more positive and/or realistic ways of thinking. Not always easy. Today included. So first off, I'm grateful for this post to remind me to think positively.

I know I'm copying a bit here, but I'm also grateful to have a job. A place to go, to get me out of the house, to do something. Glad to be able to do things with that extra money, like going on trips.

I'm grateful for my good health. I can go for a run or walk and enjoy the outdoors, which I try to do daily.

[ShadowGX]

I too have been working on this. It's very VERY difficult though when those stupid emotions start popping up. It seems as long as I'm somewhat calm I'm able to be at least a little positive lately, which didn't used to be the case, so I'm making progress at least. I'm pretty calm now, so let's try.

A couple positive/grounding thoughts I'm trying to really focus on lately:
1. I'm happy with just friendship (referring to my "favorite person"), it's completely ok if that's the extent of it.
2. It's ok to love a friend and want to cuddle them, love and physical affection is not reserved for mates. (Validating my feelings a little bit there.)
3. If anything more is meant to be, it will be, but now is not the time. Even if it will never be, see #1.

It's sort of a cycle I repeat in my head. It doesn't usually do anything if I'm already upset, but while I'm calm it helps keep me calm.

[sans]

In a perfect world yes, but most of us us struggling in a different sense

So I’ve been reading about how the brain evolved to be “negative”, so to speak, for survival. The example given was there were two important types of mistakes our ancestors could make. 1. Assume there’s a tiger in the bushes and there isn’t one. 2. Assume there isn’t a tiger in the bushes and there IS one. The first mistake caused needless anxiety. The second mistake was a life and death error.

So my brain opts for needless anxiety over making a life and death error.... and it’s extremely efficient at it. It makes sense to me though and it does still protect me in a way. For example, when I meet new people it’s best to be cautious and not blindly trust everyone and every situation...

I’m trying to notice when my brain is taking a negative turn during the work day and tell myself it’s just a self-protective mechanism and, for the most part, nothing more. If there’s a legitimate red flag... and my brain is sounding off alarms for a good reason... I can take note but I don’t have to become anxious over it... I am also learning to tune in and listen to my own better judgement and not let my emotions take over.

I see myself taking the negative pathway like it’s a default in my brain. I feel myself wanting to go that direction during stressful and busy work days. I do it all day long. Even during quiet times at home on weekends I feel worries and concerns creeping in. Does everybody experience this or is my brain just particularly negative and anxious I wonder?

I’m starting each day with some energetic positivity. I’m a little drained by the end of the day and I am not in the mood for it sometimes... but I did have several moments of positive reflection during the day yesterday. I did notice I was less emotional, less tired and my conversation with others was less negative.

I’m fortunate to have the ability to work on change for the better. I appreciate the friends I have here to listen and support me. The older I get the more I greatly appreciate every act of kindness. It’s true that no act of kindness is too small. I didn’t do this when I was younger and it feels extremely important to me now.

[orangyred]

I also experience taking the negative pathway, as you put it Sisabel. It's a tough rut to get out of.

I was remembering on my way to work this morning that quite a few years ago I met a woman who told me that every day for about 3 years she wrote down 7 (or was it 10?) things she was thankful for. i tried it for awhile, but didn't last long. I'm going to try that again. I think your idea of doing it in the morning is a good one. Start fresh.

Originally Posted by orangyred

I also experience taking the negative pathway, as you put it Sisabel. It's a tough rut to get out of.


I was remembering on my way to work this morning that quite a few years ago I met a woman who told me that every day for about 3 years she wrote down 7 (or was it 10?) things she was thankful for. i tried it for awhile, but didn't last long. I'm going to try that again. I think your idea of doing it in the morning is a good one. Start fresh.

Might as well try and start the day in the right foot right? Even if we do feel a bit frayed as the day goes on.

I am trying to be positive today but it’s hard.

Things I'm grateful for today:
1. I am the captain of my own ship. I left someplace today when I wasn't comfortable. At first I felt weird. But I'm glad I did. Self care.
2. DBT started up again today. I'm glad. I need it.
3. Looking forward to listening to a podcast.

The Silver Lining of Loneliness: I really can't think of one, lol. Except that loneliness, and any other negative emotions, is a signal to us that something is not right for us in our lives. I need to put in more effort to be connected. While I did that today, and it got me disappointment, I will not give up. Tomorrow is another day.

((((Knitchick))))))

Ok. earlier today it was hard to be positive. I am proving myself at work, bit by bit, despite ALL my biggest fears and worries. I read today that experts like to make you think that SEO is really hard. Well, hell. I got by and was majorly successful without knowing all the technical crap that I am now faced with, which is making me feel like a dummie. Maybe it's really all a farce. Maybe I really CAN succeed.

To anyone struggling to be positive. That's ok. I find myself struggling with that. Like my inability to find a silver lining with loneliness. For me, when things like that come up, acceptance is key. And taking action to get my mind off my problems is also important.

The silver lining for me probably is... well, nothing I guess?

[BettysGranddaughter]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

To anyone struggling to be positive. That's ok. I find myself struggling with that. Like my inability to find a silver lining with loneliness. For me, when things like that come up, acceptance is key. And taking action to get my mind off my problems is also important.

You're right, it is hard to find a silver lining with loneliness. For me I just try to acknowledge it and accept it, like you said. Everyone feels lonely sometimes and it won't last forever, because nothing ever does. Just to acknowledge it and accept it is key, I think.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

The silver lining for me probably is... well, nothing I guess?

There’s an upside and downside to everything? No? ❤️

Originally Posted by BettysGranddaughter

You're right, it is hard to find a silver lining with loneliness. For me I just try to acknowledge it and accept it, like you said. Everyone feels lonely sometimes and it won't last forever, because nothing ever does. Just to acknowledge it and accept it is key, I think.

I agree. The bad stuff doesn’t last forever but neither does the good stuff so I try not to lose sight of the big picture. It’s hard to do.

today we had some rain and some thunderstorm weather

it only lasted like 20 or so minits, but we really needed it to cool the air anyway.

so I'm glad for it even if it was short

and I know that in a few months we will get a lot of rain when we enter winter

Originally Posted by KnitChick

To anyone struggling to be positive. That's ok. I find myself struggling with that. Like my inability to find a silver lining with loneliness. For me, when things like that come up, acceptance is key. And taking action to get my mind off my problems is also important.

It’s ok not to be positive all the time. It’s just not realistic. It’s a work in progress. I feel grumpy today. I’m definitely a work in progress. I plan to do something fun this evening and try to shake off this grumpiness.

I've run out of cola but still have some doctor pepper left

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I've run out of cola but still have some doctor pepper left

Well that’s looking on the bright side. Haha!

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I've run out of cola but still have some doctor pepper left

Dr. Pepper is the best.