Originally Posted by Sisabel

I’ve been reflecting on how tough I am on myself and on others. Seeing this encourages me to change it. A different perspective encourages a different behavior.

(((Sisabel))) You can change yourself. It may take time and patience, but I believe people can change. I can be really tough on myself and others as well at times. More so on myself. But I have been quite critical of certain people and situations in the past, and have been learning to reign that in.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

(((Sisabel))) You can change yourself. It may take time and patience, but I believe people can change. I can be really tough on myself and others as well at times. More so on myself. But I have been quite critical of certain people and situations in the past, and have been learning to reign that in.

Yes to everything you just wrote! I think we CAN change it. ❤️

[dsmith]

It's interesting how a few hours can make a huge difference.

Yesterday I made a vow: I resolved to read less negative information. Specifically all the chaos happening on Capitol Hill.

This morning was amazing: I woke up refreshed, and got through my morning routine quickly. Usually I amble about lethargically, like Eeyore or Snuffleapagus from Sesame Street. Not today - I breezed through the morning paper and sat down ready to move forward.

Unfortunately, my hold habits quickly derailed my day. The activity was there: I read many articles, and posted many updates on Quora. However, none of this led to anything tangible for work.

My employment history is spotty at best - I've been fired from 6 jobs in the past 8 yrs. Am now attempting something with lower stress - and lower (nonexistent) pay. It's supposed to be entrepreneurial, and my colleague is phenomenal. However, my heart is not in it, and I feel totally unmotivated to do anything.

Baby steps, I guess. At least I'm not actively polluting my thoughts with negativity. So - that's a positive.

[ShadowGX]

So now that I got a response from friend I'm finding it easier to be more positive about the situation. He still might leave after we get the chance to talk it out because I don't think he will care much for my take on the problem, but there's also a chance he could be that same kind understanding person again and we have a real shot moving past this. He doesn't like this any more than I do. I think he still cares, it's just really hard for him right now to care "properly". I just miss the nice comforting version of him so much... But if we can make it through this trial, which is how I'm now looking at it, we could make it through just about anything I think.

[ShadowGX]

We made it through, yay for positive thoughts keeping me sane. ^^ Yet another trial defeated and we're stronger because of it I think.

Originally Posted by ShadowGX

We made it through, yay for positive thoughts keeping me sane. ^^ Yet another trial defeated and we're stronger because of it I think.

I'm glad

(((( ShadowGX ))))

[ShadowGX]

I'm having such a hard time being patient and hopeful again... My mind can't think of a single positive. I'm just clinging to the old "he came through before, he'll come through again". The longer he takes to do so, the harder it is to believe that. I'm so close to giving up and just citing this as yet another failed friendship.

I'm dealing with some PMDD today. But I went to see my therapist and she was talking about brain grooves that are deep seated and that create habits and patterns in our lives. With brain plasticity, you can change, it just takes time. Lots of patience. One thing she suggested to me is that I just *notice* when I'm thinking about something negative, so that I don't get pulled into the carousel of negativity and confusion. Have a good weekend, everyone.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

I'm dealing with some PMDD today. But I went to see my therapist and she was talking about brain grooves that are deep seated and that create habits and patterns in our lives. With brain plasticity, you can change, it just takes time. Lots of patience. One thing she suggested to me is that I just *notice* when I'm thinking about something negative, so that I don't get pulled into the carousel of negativity and confusion. Have a good weekend, everyone.

Awesome!

I have anxiety going into work this week. But I have proven myself so far, so I know I can accomplish and succeed at whatever comes next. Have confidence!!!

today I watched winnie the pooh's easter movie.

it was nice. killed an hour or so, and it's been so long since I've seen anything with winnie the pooh in it

also despite destroying a favorite cd yesterday (anger), I ordered a new one- and will have it by at the latest October 9th, but it's amazon.. so probably sooner

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I have anxiety going into work this week. But I have proven myself so far, so I know I can accomplish and succeed at whatever comes next. Have confidence!!!

I agree with you that you can accomplish and succeed whatever comes next Eve!! You have been a source of inspiration for me and also self knowledge (I'm learning about myself while also reading about you, if that makes sense! For instance I have learned that my own anxiety with really anything I do...will go down once I experience the situation enough. your posts were like a confirmation of that because I see that you went through the same thing) through reading your posts in the work forum. You got this!!!

Originally Posted by raging vortex

today I watched winnie the pooh's easter movie.

it was nice. killed an hour or so, and it's been so long since I've seen anything with winnie the pooh in it

I remember watching the tv show Winnie the Pooh when I was a child. I liked it. Seeing it now, or just even a Winnie the Pooh meme (something positive that he says), is uplifting.

Love and compassion can help every one of us to overcome the most formidable obstacles. I know it coma be done. ❤️

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Love and compassion can help every one of us to overcome the most formidable obstacles. I know it coma be done. ❤️

Originally Posted by KnitChick

“coma be done”... haha! I meant “can be done.”

[avlady]

people can change i believe as i.ve seen it

Originally Posted by KnitChick

I agree with you that you can accomplish and succeed whatever comes next Eve!! You have been a source of inspiration for me and also self knowledge (I'm learning about myself while also reading about you, if that makes sense! For instance I have learned that my own anxiety with really anything I do...will go down once I experience the situation enough. your posts were like a confirmation of that because I see that you went through the same thing) through reading your posts in the work forum. You got this!!!

Aww, thank you! And I'm SO glad my process is also helping you!!!!

I guess my positive for today is that the stiffness in my back didn't reach a point where I couldn't get up

Today I feel that I have a lot to be grateful for, excited about, and to celebrate. It's not just today, but I'm feeling it today.

1.) I have been making my own choices about what to do with my life. Some things were hard to say no to, especially because people were rooting for me. But some things didn't feel right for me in my gut, and I said no, and have no regrets. 2.) I am currently getting career counseling and it is helping. I decided to take a class in my community, related to a job interest of mine, and I'm really excited about it. It starts soon. 3.) I've also been in contact with my previous supervisor at the nursing home, and I will be volunteering there later this week. It feels so good to know she hasn't given up on me, and it does feel nice to volunteer there, despite how it doesn't feel like the perfect fit. It's ok. 4.) I'm going to church more, and I religiously go to meditation group beforehand every Sunday. I've been feeling more connected! 5.) I grew a thicker skin where online dating has been concerned, and while I'm still on OkC and POF, I've deactivated both my profiles because I truly don't feel that need it anymore. However, it had been GREAT to have men interested in me, men who were just regular people, and MANY of them did not mind that I do not work. A lot were pretty understanding. It all started around the time I started to accept myself in that situation. 6.) I have a mood journal that my psychiatrist asked me to keep, and while I definitely have mood changes and swings around my menstruation cycle, keeping this journal has been very helpful in keeping me on track and aware of my moods!! I like it. 7.) I'm learning about intuitive eating, and am wanting to eat healthier / more veggies as well. This is all good stuff that I feel happy about!

Thanks for listening and have a great day

[Fuzzybear]

I like this - what is going on with bear internally is not who bear is
(Thanks Seesaw for the post, I changed it slightly for me)

Thanks KnitChick for this thread

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

So I’ve been reading about how the brain evolved to be “negative”, so to speak, for survival. The example given was there were two important types of mistakes our ancestors could make. 1. Assume there’s a tiger in the bushes and there isn’t one. 2. Assume there isn’t a tiger in the bushes and there IS one. The first mistake caused needless anxiety. The second mistake was a life and death error.

So my brain opts for needless anxiety over making a life and death error.... and it’s extremely efficient at it. It makes sense to me though and it does still protect me in a way. For example, when I meet new people it’s best to be cautious and not blindly trust everyone and every situation...

I’m trying to notice when my brain is taking a negative turn during the work day and tell myself it’s just a self-protective mechanism and, for the most part, nothing more. If there’s a legitimate red flag... and my brain is sounding off
alarms for a good reason... I can take note but I don’t have to become anxious over it... I am also learning to tune in and listen to my own better judgement and not let my emotions take over.

I see myself taking the negative pathway like it’s a default in my brain. I feel myself wanting to go that direction during stressful and busy work days. I do it all day long. Even during quiet times at home on weekends I feel worries and concerns creeping in. Does everybody experience this or is my brain just
particularly negative and anxious I wonder?

I’m starting each day with some energetic positivity. I’m a little drained by the end of the day and I am not in the mood for it sometimes... but I did have several moments of positive reflection during the day yesterday. I did notice I was less emotional, less tired and my conversation with others was less negative.

I’m fortunate to have the ability to work on change for the better. I appreciate the friends I have here to listen and support me. The older I get the more I greatly appreciate every act of kindness. It’s true that no act of kindness is too small. I didn’t do this when I was younger and it feels extremely important to me now.

—-yes, balance is the safe place. We’re not extinct because of luck and also because our brains warn us about certain things. Yes we w MI have to be more careful screening challenges. Starting out being sheltered, naive and bipolar, in my protective introversion, I pulled some really huge dumb stunts that impacted me for years not being wary enuf. So thanks for pointing out the science of this. And yes, we must reward ourselves by being grateful. Big thanks.

I wrote this today. Some good stuff!

Insecure at last: I am chronically insecure. I have come to a point in my life where I do not think this is a bad thing anymore. It could even be a personality trait. I just know that I constantly apologize when I don't need to, and I am sensitive to rude people in bad moods (even, or I guess I could say..especially strangers!), and people who are Insensitive! I read into things, etc. etc. But you know what? While I do believe it is helpful to deal with my personal problems, If people don't like me because of who I am, or because I seem like I "need to change," (which I don't necessarily think I do! Nor am I sure that I am able to completely change!) or if they themselves are triggered by my demeanor, that's on them, not me, and I have the right to say "forget you, I'll be over here with my peeps who are accepting of me, including myself!" I have tried and tried to change myself all my life. But remember when it was really uncool to be quiet, shy, and an introvert? LOOK AT US NOW! While I think that insecurity can get "too big" and "too much," if you've got a handle on it like I (at times, lol) do, rock on with yourself, and don't pay any mind to the haters or the well meaning less sensitive and more secure people who say "you just need to change."