Originally Posted by Sisabel

It’s ok not to be positive all the time. It’s just not realistic. It’s a work in progress. I feel grumpy today. I’m definitely a work in progress. I plan to do something fun this evening and try to shake off this grumpiness.

Hey Sisabel, I hope you're having a good evening. You are so right. Being positive all the time is unrealistic. I can be a bit of a crabapple too. It's just part of my irresistable charm.

Originally Posted by Sisabel

There’s an upside and downside to everything? No? ❤️

At least I am good at pen and paper theory... but it too comes with massive disadvantages, like not being good at lab work and not having any friends and not having a bike to ride.

[ShadowGX]

Positive... Well, if I don't sleep, that means I can play more Monster Hunter, right? Except my wrist is sore from the last 2 days of it... Hmm.

[BettysGranddaughter]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

I agree. The bad stuff doesn’t last forever but neither does the good stuff so I try not to lose sight of the big picture. It’s hard to do.

Definitely hard to do sometimes. I just left a HORRIBLE job and I catch myself thinking, welp, that's it, I'm going to be unemployed forever. Catastrophizing.

((((((BettysGranddaughter))))))

Originally Posted by BettysGranddaughter

Definitely hard to do sometimes. I just left a HORRIBLE job and I catch myself thinking, welp, that's it, I'm going to be unemployed forever. Catastrophizing.

I hope you find a wonderful job. Horrible jobs are horrible for mental and emotional health. ❤️

[BettysGranddaughter]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

I hope you find a wonderful job. Horrible jobs are horrible for mental and emotional health. ❤️

Thank you!!! I felt immediately better once I quit. It is scary, not having a job, because work has always been the most important part of my life. But I think the silver lining to this is that this is all some kind of big lesson for me - I needed to learn how to have a life outside of work!

Today is an average day for me. Not bad.

I am starting a mood journal for my pdoc.

I don't have much to say today but I'm grateful to someone in my life who has not given up on me, and who is actually persistent and encouraging.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

Today is an average day for me. Not bad.

I am starting a mood journal for my pdoc.

I don't have much to say today but I'm grateful to someone in my life who has not given up on me, and who is actually persistent and encouraging.

Having one person in your life who is always there for you is HUGE. I have one person in my life like this and words can’t express how blessed I am to have this person.

I’ve pooped out this week... I’ve allowed my brain to run amuck and I’ve gone into a funk. It cheered me up to see your update. And reminded me to pause and reflect on the peace and quiet of this present moment.

What’s a pdoc? A mood journal sounds like an excellent idea.

pdoc = psychiatrist.

(((Sisabel))) I myself found it hard to post here sometimes. Glad you are feeling better.

[ShadowGX]

Very proud of myself today. A couple nights ago I got the idea to write emails to the 3 most significant people in my life who are no longer a part of it and have caused me a lot of anguish because of their choice not to be a part of my life anymore. I did that this morning. After finishing the 3rd and hardest one I'm feeling rather liberated. I didn't send the 3rd one, but I did send the first two. I don't expect responses, and that's ok. It's not about re-establishing a connection with those people. I do hope they read the emails though because I feel like it might help them to know what I couldn't say before.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

pdoc = psychiatrist.


(((Sisabel))) I myself found it hard to post here sometimes. Glad you are feeling better.

The days it’s hard are the days we especially need to keep at it. Just like working out at the gym... we gotta build our brains just like our bodies

Originally Posted by ShadowGX

Very proud of myself today. A couple nights ago I got the idea to write emails to the 3 most significant people in my life who are no longer a part of it and have caused me a lot of anguish because of their choice not to be a part of my life anymore. I did that this morning. After finishing the 3rd and hardest one I'm feeling rather liberated. I didn't send the 3rd one, but I did send the first two. I don't expect responses, and that's ok. It's not about re-establishing a connection with those people. I do hope they read the emails though because I feel like it might help them to know what I couldn't say before.

Sounds like that was therapeutic for you. ❤️ Keep working hard to take good care of YOU ❤️

Had a positive talk today with somebody I had a conflict with for a while. We didn’t directly talk out the issues but she talked about some healing she’s now doing from past anger and I was positive and encouraging with her. I realize our conflict was because we were bumping up against each other’s trigger spots from past hurts.

Had another person reach out to me last week... we had a conflict a few months ago and have both apologized but hard feelings were still there and we were able to relax and move past some things.

Maybe I’m getting healthier. There are some sad days that tend to feel like they overshadow the happy days. That’s what I struggle with. I tend to let the rough times overshadow the good times. Life doesn’t ever settle into a perfection... it’s pretty much a constant chaos. I want to learn to go with the flow when things get rough. It would mean less conflict and frustration for sure.

It’s been difficult to put my brain on the positive this week but I’m working on it. ❤️

Today I volunteered and I went on a date. It was quite awkward but nice. I am not, however, interested in this person. Despite my romantic disinterest and disappointment in that, the positives are that the date was nice, and enjoyable.

I'm going to take warm bath now.

Originally Posted by KnitChick

Today I volunteered and I went on a date. It was quite awkward but nice. I am not, however, interested in this person. Despite my romantic disinterest and disappointment in that, the positives are that the date was nice, and enjoyable.


I'm going to take warm bath now.

Wow! That sounds like a good day. And the warm bath is a wonderful way to end the day. ❤️

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Wow! That sounds like a good day. And the warm bath is a wonderful way to end the day. ❤️

Thanks Sisabel. I'm struggling right now and will post here another thread. I see that as self care.

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Had a positive talk today with somebody I had a conflict with for a while. We didn’t directly talk out the issues but she talked about some healing she’s now doing from past anger and I was positive and encouraging with her. I realize our conflict was because we were bumping up against each other’s trigger spots from past hurts.

Had another person reach out to me last week... we had a conflict a few months ago and have both apologized but hard feelings were still there and we were able to relax and move past some things.

Maybe I’m getting healthier. There are some sad days that tend to feel like they overshadow the happy days. That’s what I struggle with. I tend to let the rough times overshadow the good times. Life doesn’t ever settle into a perfection... it’s pretty much a constant chaos. I want to learn to go with the flow when things get rough. It would mean less conflict and frustration for sure.

It’s been difficult to put my brain on the positive this week but I’m working on it. ❤️

You seem to have good insight with your friendship.

I like the idea of going with the flow when things get tough. I will try for this too.

Hello. Today, I am listening to The Savvy Psychologist podcast on Spotify. It's really good and I recommend it to people here. You can find it at other places online as well. Anyway, it's reminding me of positivity, and optimism. Like the silver lining of things. Or even just, the good parts of things. Sometimes, for me, it can be a creative challenge, in a sense, to find the good parts of things. But when I do, or if someone else points it out to me, it's really refreshing. Its helpful to look at things in that way.

The positive side of volunteering in a nursing home: it gets me out. I feel a sense of accomplishment. I am learning about how to interact w/ people w/ dementia, and elderly people. I'm helping other people in need. I'm helping my supervisor and giving the people who work there, a break.

[ShadowGX]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

The positive side of volunteering in a nursing home: it gets me out. I feel a sense of accomplishment. I am learning about how to interact w/ people w/ dementia, and elderly people. I'm helping other people in need. I'm helping my supervisor and giving the people who work there, a break.

Kudos to you for being able to volunteer in a nursing home. I had to do it for just 2 days to get my CNA certification and it was so sad and stressful. I feel so badly for the people who have to live there and the staff. I could never work in such a place. Assisted living maybe, but never a nursing home.

[ShadowGX]

Last night and today I'm really trying the positive thing in regards to this recent problem with friend. I'm trying to remember the thread I made before saying he was a good people and that he's different than others. Yes, others may have hurt me and have given up, but that doesn't mean he's going to. At least for the moment, I'm hopeful that he will return to me soon and that we will work past the problem.

Of course, then the bad thoughts say things like "well, he's already out the door, he's just gotta close it behind him, would be so easy". It also reminds me how he did outright leave before for a week but then came back - he would have been back sooner, but I was stubborn, and his reason for leaving wasn't because of me supposedly (though that's not much comfort considering it means I could lose him again through no fault of my own).

I am starting to see a silver lining through my terrible history of abuse and isolation and my currently painful condition of living.

I might be lacking basic skills to socialize, but at least as my primary doc put it, I can still learn them after I get my crap together. I may be lacking fun in my life, but that doesn't mean I cannot attend parties later in my age. I may be lacking support, but first I need to get out of the toxic environment. I may be lacking friends, but that doesn't mean I cannot create my own Doctor Chemist Bikers' Club in my third year of med school. Two years to truly get my stuff together.

I am a human being. I have survived through all this crap. Sure my body may have broken down. And even as I have lost chunks of my mind, I can still do wonders with what is remaining of both. Sure, I know I cannot be a neurosurgeon. But that doesn't mean I cannot be a psychiatrist, neurologist, infectious diseases specialist, endocrinologist or specialize in one of the other 40 specialties that do not require physical stamina. I've noticed my sensory organs are fine. If I fix my strabisumus, I'd be a quite keen observer.

My memory's not the best. But that doesn't matter if I pass med school or even get into it. And I am pretty sure I am getting into med school, as the questions I am practicing get easier and easier. A bit of memorization coupled with tons of reasoning.

Will all of this not work out? Of course, perfectly. Anything can happen. But if I work step by step, managing myself, breaking the process down into chunks, it will most probably work.

- My first step would be to practice daily with the material I have got. Not lying, got the material for only one subject out of three total. But the examination's in May.
- My second step would be to solve mock test papers.
- My third step would be to get the **** out of my house.
- My fourth step would be to live in the college hostel.
- My fifth step would be to get a bike.
- My sixth step would be to focus on understanding and applying into practice the knowledge and not give a fk about tests.
- My seventh step would be to socialize really well.
- My eight step would be to attend parties 'till I pass out.

Sounds good.

I said, this looks like a job for me,
So everybody just follow me,
Cause we a little controversy,
Cause it feels so empty without me.

Who you gonna call when House fails you?
Doctor Chemist.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am starting to see a silver lining through my terrible history of abuse and isolation and my currently painful condition of living.

I might be lacking basic skills to socialize, but at least as my primary doc put it, I can still learn them after I get my crap together. I may be lacking fun in my life, but that doesn't mean I cannot attend parties later in my age. I may be lacking support, but first I need to get out of the toxic environment. I may be lacking friends, but that doesn't mean I cannot create my own Doctor Chemist Bikers' Club in my third year of med school. Two years to truly get my stuff together.

I am a human being. I have survived through all this crap. Sure my body may have broken down. And even as I have lost chunks of my mind, I can still do wonders with what is remaining of both. Sure, I know I cannot be a neurosurgeon. But that doesn't mean I cannot be a psychiatrist, neurologist, infectious diseases specialist, endocrinologist or specialize in one of the other 40 specialties that do not require physical stamina. I've noticed my sensory organs are fine. If I fix my strabisumus, I'd be a quite keen observer.

My memory's not the best. But that doesn't matter if I pass med school or even get into it. And I am pretty sure I am getting into med school, as the questions I am practicing get easier and easier. A bit of memorization coupled with tons of reasoning.

Will all of this not work out? Of course, perfectly. Anything can happen. But if I work step by step, managing myself, breaking the process down into chunks, it will most probably work.

- My first step would be to practice daily with the material I have got. Not lying, got the material for only one subject out of three total. But the examination's in May.
- My second step would be to solve mock test papers.
- My third step would be to get the **** out of my house.
- My fourth step would be to live in the college hostel.
- My fifth step would be to get a bike.
- My sixth step would be to focus on understanding and applying into practice the knowledge and not give a fk about tests.
- My seventh step would be to socialize really well.
- My eight step would be to attend parties 'till I pass out.

Sounds good.

I said, this looks like a job for me,
So everybody just follow me,
Cause we a little controversy,
Cause it feels so empty without me.

Who you gonna call when House fails you?
Doctor Chemist.

Good for you

I’ve been reflecting on how tough I am on myself and on others. Seeing this encourages me to change it. A different perspective encourages a different behavior.