[Aviza]

I can't get over how I've ruined my life. My mom started bring up my divorces, and yes it upsets me so I went to the bathroom and left. Than cried in my car.

I broke up with the guy I liked yesterday because he'll never marry again. I just can't be a forever girlfriend. He thought it best I never marry again since I've had 3 failed marriages.

And despite having a wonderful Christmas, I know I ruined my life I have no family of my own. And never will.

[bpforever1]

Our illness causes problems with judgment and behavior. I would not blame yourself but realize that you have an illness which takes over and causes problems. The best advice I can offer is to remain stable by taking your medication and continue seeing your healthcare professionals who are your lifeline. I think you can still marry as long as you take care of yourself and your illness. I would not let others dictate you. You should do what is best for you and makes you happy. I'm sure if you are doing well, some man will be happy to marry you. So, please don't despair and have a Happy Holiday Season!

[bpcyclist]

I am sorry you hurt today. Sorry about your breakup. That is so painful. But bpf1 is on the money. If you want to marry again, you will--I have no doubt. You just haven't found the right person yet. If you want this, you can and will make it happen for you. There are plenty of quality people who have been married multiple times who go on to remarry. You are far from the only one.
I also think you are being too hard on yourself. These illnesses we have to deal with make it hard for partners sometimes. That is just a fact. But that does not mean you cannot find one willing and able to be with you exactly as you are. That person is out there, if you so wish. Don't give up. Your life is not ruined, It is not over. You just need to be kind to yourself, push through this, an carry on with the goal you have set.

[sarahsweets]

I am curious- why do you think that you need to get married again? What is wrong with being a committed partner for a long time? If you have had three marriages that havent worked out maybe he has a point. There is no rule that long term commitment has to be marriage.

[*Beth*]

I am struggling so hard this year with the feeling that I have ruined my life. And, this year, I've had to accept that my mental illness is very real...it has shredded parts of my life.

I like what the first 3 posters said. Good answers - and good questions.

[divine1966]

Two of my best friends have never been married and don’t have children and not even dating and haven’t for years. They are enjoying other things in life. There is more to life than relationships. You can enjoy hobbies and friends and helping others and making a difference. Please don’t consider your life ruined .

Originally Posted by Aviza

I can't get over how I've ruined my life. My mom started bring up my divorces, and yes it upsets me so I went to the bathroom and left. Than cried in my car.

I broke up with the guy I liked yesterday because he'll never marry again. I just can't be a forever girlfriend. He thought it best I never marry again since I've had 3 failed marriages.

And despite having a wonderful Christmas, I know I ruined my life I have no family of my own. And never will.

Pfft. Elizabeth Taylor married and divorced 8 times, twice to actor Richard Burton. And she was happy.

Don't give your mother so much power over your self-worth. Why does her opinion of you matter so much to you?

[Aviza]

Because it's how I feel. I can't just be a girlfriend. I won't be happy thinking he can leave at any time. I don't believe in sex before marriage, it's an inherent belief. I do it, I've done it, but it's a sin. I don't want to be sinning my entire life. I can still get pregnant, I do not want even an accidental bastard baby. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. That doesn't apply to girlfriends.

[MickeyCheeky]

Don't give up Hope! Things can still work out. You just need to find the right person. Marriage is a SERIOUS thing and it's better to spend it with someone who TRULY Loves You and Cares About You. Otherwise what's the point in Marrying? I certainly understand You wanting to have Children, if that's what You want, but they need to grow in an Healthy Environembt! Are You seeing a Therapist at the moment? Perhaps it would be useful to explore WHY you Marriages have been failing thus far. Perhaps You've just had bad Luck? Or perhaps there's something in Your Unconscious that lets you certain kind of people get close to You. Just some food for Thought! You don't have to do it or to agree with me of course! In any case, whatever You decide to do, I'm wishing You the BEST of Happiness! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends, Your Mother, Your Daughter, Your Son, Your Future Husband, Your Relatives, your Uncles, your Nephews, your Courins and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[divine1966]

Honestly if you believe in sanctity of marriage then how is it possible you were married 3 times? I’d focus on finding better quality men rather than actual marriage demands.

Nothing wrong with not having sex before marriage. When you meet a man don’t have sex until you are on your way to commitment, engaged etc just date him. No need to have sex right away.

You think men could walk away if they aren’t married. But if you were married 3 times it means they walk away or you did despite being married. Marriage license doesn’t stop people from walking away and marriage from ending or partners from being abusive

I feel like you focus on technicality of having official piece of paper instead of on quality of your relationships and life in general

[downandlonely]

Nowadays, it is just as easy to walk away from a marriage as from a long-term relationship.

Also, a relationship does not define your life. I have never been married or even had a serious relationship. But I have friends and a good job. I do not consider my life ruined.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @Aviza: marriage will not prevent someone from leaving whenever they want.