[Fuzzybear]

I have been told, by ''experts'' IRL that I am ''too sensitive'' and by one ''professional'' that I was ''blowing something out of proportion''.....that was clinically WRONG. this, apparently, made me ''paranoid'' according to this person. (this ''professional'' IRL) Another professional IRL told me I have a ''severe'' ''illness'' and discharged me. I did nothing wrong and paid massive amounts of money (I am not ''narcissistic'' or ''sociopathic'' etc)

I have found, over decades that I am a dumping ground for other people's anger. Some of them even demonise me and make me into ''the bad person''.... sometimes for years A very manipulative ''family'' member disowned their part in a few arguments we had (they and other family members had been cruel and mean to me for years...) and they turned all the ''family'' against me.

I am, I think, sensitive and empathic to others. I wonder if this is why people think they can get away with using me to dump their stuff on. Of course, if I object, I nearly always am split black.... not always, but it has happened ''too many'' times. I am in touch with ''reality''... although a professional irl called me paranoid, he did that to cover up his abuse.

Others have called me ''weak'' either because...

1. I am ''too quiet''

or

2. I talk ''too much'' and am ''too sensitive''

Apparently, being an insensitive jerk makes these people ''superior'' to me.

A relative said I am a ''flower''..... I do not know how to take that. I don't think they were meaning a ''snowflake'' but I don't think it was a compliment. Nothing like as bad as what other ''relatives'' have called me I thought ''family'' were supposed to be supportive?

Am I missing something?

I kindly request no references to the ''situation'' in the world since this is a trigger to me and also is unrelated to my question. This is a ''long term issue'' for me.

A friend IRL in my forest has also found no professional who listens or offers adequate respect (more than one friend in fact Maybe we get 6 sessions of respectful communication.... if we are lucky..... then we are ''on our own'' or are torn apart by their ''plain speaking'' (aka abusive words). I have not found a professional IRL in this forest who not only is not Narcissistic but does not adequately, or at all, hide this and try to be kind (I have studied NPD and am not just throwing that out..... I am familiar with Narcissism since both my ''parents'' were Narcissists (and very rejecting.... etc.....) (and probably one also was a Sociopath)

I do not know why I am such a ''bad person'' and ''weak'' and all those things they told me I am........ I wonder, could they have been projecting their own insecurity and darkness onto me?

ETA It is a trigger to me when people are mean to me because of trauma.

(not about anyone on pc)

[Fuzzybear]

I don't think it was a good idea to post this. I definitely do not ''fit in''... anywhere, in ''these times'' since I even am ''too sensitive'' when certain terms keep popping up I lost a ''friend'' recently because of this, I did not respond to their email. (they asked me a question about ...... (in capitals ) (I hope its clear that I do not want to talk about ... it... so I am probably sitting all alone here, virtually as well as physically)

Papa bear and I had an ''ambitious'' outing yesterday, the fang doctor. And I have a fang extraction in one week.

My ''avoidant personality'' is making it impossible to ''live'' (so maybe that ''expert'' IRL was ''right'' .... I am ''hopeless'' and not worth ''helping'' ) (more than one ''expert'' IRL implied that... nice. NOT

Feel free to ignore me and my ''whine''

Please do not tell me that ''others have it worse''... I am very aware of that and am actually a compassionate bear. I am also aware that ''some have it better''... Kind of obvious.....

boring post. maybe if I read this before bed time I might sleep tonight

[Fuzzybear]

a rented cottage which...



(deleted)

[Fuzzybear]

this whole thread is a waste of my time and probably yours. I most definitely do NOT ''belong'' in ''these times''

I guess I never did belong in the world... so that ''avoidant'' dx was maybe accurate. ''not endearing'' and ****ed up

Not saying others with that dx are ''not endearing''..... it was what that ''expert'' told me. And I am definitely ''not endearing'' ''in these times''

And a bear with a missing tooth is NOT to be messed with!

My original question was STUPID.

Some others have WANTED me to feel that I am ''the problem''.... they were verrrrry fyked up individuals (not anyone here) (mostly family. and anyone who has any knowledge of CPTSD would know that ''get over it'' and ''count your blessings, others have it worse'' just adds to our pain

We do not ''choose'' to ''dwell'' in the past. (or in ''dark imaginings ) It FOLLOWS us around .... distractions are only a useful ''coping tool'' some of the time.

And as ''meds'' are not an option I am ****ed

[IrisBloom]

Have you tried any natural meds? St Johns wort for example is not to be taken with prescription meds because it does the same thing. There are several others too. I'd really love to take something natural but ins. Only pays for man made chemicals :sad:

BTW You are not a problem person. Every one of those you mentioned has issues of their own. Putting someone down or dismissing their feelings is a way to feel superior. Let them think they are! It's their delusion not yours.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I have been told, by ''experts'' IRL that I am ''too sensitive'' and by one ''professional'' that I was ''blowing something out of proportion''.....that was clinically WRONG. this, apparently, made me ''paranoid'' according to this person. (this ''professional'' IRL) Another professional IRL told me I have a ''severe'' ''illness'' and discharged me. I did nothing wrong and paid massive amounts of money (I am not ''narcissistic'' or ''sociopathic'' etc)

I have found, over decades that I am a dumping ground for other people's anger. Some of them even demonise me and make me into ''the bad person''.... sometimes for years A very manipulative ''family'' member disowned their part in a few arguments we had (they and other family members had been cruel and mean to me for years...) and they turned all the ''family'' against me.

I am, I think, sensitive and empathic to others. I wonder if this is why people think they can get away with using me to dump their stuff on. Of course, if I object, I nearly always am split black.... not always, but it has happened ''too many'' times. I am in touch with ''reality''... although a professional irl called me paranoid, he did that to cover up his abuse.

Others have called me ''weak'' either because...

1. I am ''too quiet''

or

2. I talk ''too much'' and am ''too sensitive''

Apparently, being an insensitive jerk makes these people ''superior'' to me.

A relative said I am a ''flower''..... I do not know how to take that. I don't think they were meaning a ''snowflake'' but I don't think it was a compliment. Nothing like as bad as what other ''relatives'' have called me I thought ''family'' were supposed to be supportive?

Am I missing something?

I kindly request no references to the ''situation'' in the world since this is a trigger to me and also is unrelated to my question. This is a ''long term issue'' for me.

A friend IRL in my forest has also found no professional who listens or offers adequate respect (more than one friend in fact Maybe we get 6 sessions of respectful communication.... if we are lucky..... then we are ''on our own'' or are torn apart by their ''plain speaking'' (aka abusive words). I have not found a professional IRL in this forest who not only is not Narcissistic but does not adequately, or at all, hide this and try to be kind (I have studied NPD and am not just throwing that out..... I am familiar with Narcissism since both my ''parents'' were Narcissists (and very rejecting.... etc.....) (and probably one also was a Sociopath)

I do not know why I am such a ''bad person'' and ''weak'' and all those things they told me I am........ I wonder, could they have been projecting their own insecurity and darkness onto me?

ETA It is a trigger to me when people are mean to me because of trauma.

(not about anyone on pc)

This sound like my family. I'm sorry that you have to do to through that..

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by IrisBloom

BTW You are not a problem person. Every one of those you mentioned has issues of their own. Putting someone down or dismissing their feelings is a way to feel superior. Let them think they are! It's their delusion not yours.

I agree. I don't know why those two bothered to have a cub (me). They were VERY delusional. And they Were Not To Be Challenged or Disagreed With.

(eta... that is nothing to do with my ''age''... real or perceived. Malignant Narcissistic parental units who refuse treatment are as they are... and none of the ''problem'', of course, Ever Belongs To Them

[IrisBloom]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I agree. I don't know why those two bothered to have a cub (me). They were VERY delusional. And they Were Not To Be Challenged or Disagreed With.

(eta... that is nothing to do with my ''age''... real or perceived. Malignant Narcissistic parental units who refuse treatment are as they are... and none of the ''problem'', of course, Ever Belongs To Them

I'll challenge you to a worst parent contest...jokin, but I'd win. Lol

[divine1966]

I am sorry you are dealing with it

Do these people who call you a bad person explain what makes you a bad person in their eyes? Like do they have any specific grievance or complaint?

When people label you certain way, I’d ask for clarification every time. Flower? “What exactly do you mean”? “How am I a flower? “ Bad person? “What examples do you have of me doing bad things?”

I don’t want to sound obtuse but forest is a metaphor of sorts right? You don’t actually live in a forest, correct?

[jesyka]

Those so called ‘experts’ are very rude & unprofessional. I think that some of them only cate about the money & that they maybe don’t want to admit that they’re unable to help you.

I’ve been in similar situations as well in the past. You’re not alone. They’re human too with their own biases. I hope that you stopped seeing those so calld professionals.

Why do you think a lot of people take their anger & frustration out on you? I have similar issues as well. I have cut out those people from my life but unfortunately I’m stuck having to deal with my narcissistic parents once in awhile.

Can you give examples of what causes people to become upset with you? Maybe the problem is them & not you. It seems like some people get easily annoyed by people they perceive to be to sensitive.

Also, there are a lot of mean, selfish, & self absorbed people out there. Nice, sensitive, & empathetic people tend to be taken advantage of if they’re not careful.

Sometimes people like you & I are seen as being ‘weak’ and easy prey since we’re quiet & afraid to speak up, or afraid of retaliation for standing up for ourselves.

I stick up for myself a lot more than I used to, but it seems like being quiet & not having anyone who’s willing to stick up for you makes you an easy target for bullies & abusers.

Try to avoid bing around toxic mean people who try to blame you for everything. Some people refuse to acknowledge that they’re the real problem sometimes. It’s easier to blame other people when things go wrong.

As for the flower comment, it could mean that you’re sweet & delicate or fragile. Next time ask people to clarify things when you’re not sure of something.

I’d tell those professionals that they’re wrong & that talking like that to a client is rude & inappropriate. Not to mention unprofessional.

Sometimes people will back off or avoid you if you stand up to them & call them put on their bad behavior.

Don’t let anyone treat you like crap. As long as you stay quiet, they’ll keep on using you as their emotional punching bag.

Trust me on this. My husband no longer treats me as badly as he used to when I told him to not talk to me a certain way. He also stopped annoying me whenI was trying to sleep by annoying him back in the same manner, ha.

Someone once told me "we get the answers to the questions we ask." So if you ask a negatively phrased question, you will get negatively phrased answers.

I also feel moved to tell you, and you may already know: not everything we think is true.



I don't see you as a problem person, fwiw. I'm sorry you've been through what you've been through though.

[Bill3]