I can’t cope anymore

I need to change myself. I need a life overhaul and makeover. I was just feeling very sorry for myself right now. This has ALL got to change - the terrible patterns of toxic work environments and toxic relationships. I cannot take anymore -- at all.

Oh.. well that's disappointing. It's good you're being proactive and researching these companies. See? You're already making smart choices and not getting sucked into the facade of these job roles. It sucks, yes.. and you're working it out. Stay strong and keep applying.

Thank you.

I need to hear positives right now, so I greatly appreciate the positive spin!!!

I feel SO glum. I keep finding positions to apply for, then learn the company culture is toxic. GRRRRRR. There are SO many toxic work environments out there. It's pretty incredulous.

Good jobs are harder to find so it really is about sifting through these seemingly "good" job descriptions in order to get something worthwhile.

Maybe consider on expanding your job search. Can you take on a teaching position within this field.. or start your own business? Maybe that's a long term goal..

Yes, it's a matter of sifting through all the bad apples. Just like trying to find a healthy partner! lol!

I can't teach or build a business right now, unfortunately.

I am apprehensive about online reviews. I sometimes wonder if they are written by disgruntled former employees who got fired or were lazy and didn’t like rules or were toxic themselves. What’s toxic for one person might not be for another. I have this side job that I do on occasion, I once read horrific reviews online and found them funny , I have zero complains whatsoever. They don’t pay much but that’s pretty much the case everywhere. They are extremely accommodating and love me. I really don’t care if other people have complaints. I love my day job and have no serious complaints yet we have few people who biatch all the time about things. That’s why I don’t care about work place reviews. I don’t think they are accurate

I’d probably still go for interviews just for practice

I take them seriously. That’s one job you speak of that luckily turned out well for you. When I read multiple reviews from multiple people all saying the same things, I take it as valid. I’m not taking any chances. I’ve had enough toxic work environments. And when less than 40% of employees approve of the CEO from 500+ people? And when more than five people say it’s a toxic CEO and work culture? I listen.

I feel like I’m being tortured. I’m in a living hell. I want out of my abusive marriage, I’m stuck, and no great job prospects. This is HELL.

I guess you have thought about moving out to live with parents, would they allow that? Obviously not your first choice, but could it be your second?

I would but they have no room for me to live in. It wouldn’t work. None of my friends can take me in either. I’m totally stuck.

I am feeling the same way, my mental health has been ruining my life. I have tried everything to make it right. Today is my birthday and I ruined it once again. I dont know why I feel like this or how to change it but I'm so numb in my relationship. I dont know how to love and be happy its really sad

I wake up every morning with anxiety. I've been taking my "as needed" anti-anxiety pill every single day lately. I have 3.5 months of unemployment benefits left. I've been out of work for 3 months so far. In the 1st month, I learned that I should apply for the same role as I had before, because I get more replies.

But right now, I have zero job prospects in the pipeline. I DO pay attention to the many negative reviews about a company. They DO matter to me. I was going to apply for one job today, then I read the reviews which said the company is failing financially and that jobs are unstable. Two massive rounds of layoffs in 2019 alone. Ok, no thanks. I don't need to get employed only to be unemployed again.

All I need is ONE opportunity, with a company that has mainly positive reviews. As long as there isn't negative review after negative review, then it's fine. But I do need stability too. The last thing I want is to be looking for a job again immediately OR to be laid off yet again.

But I am scared and am very anxious. This is a most anxiety provoking experience.

Silver lining? Recruiters and prospects contact me at random for new opportunities. So I never know what's around the corner on any given day.

Hang in there!

Thanks @Bill3!!!

So much is up in the air in society, jobs, government, it's not your fault!! It sounds like you might be feeling like you are taking on the world. I know how it feels to lie next to someone at night that you can't stand. I also recently was interviewing for a new position that paid more but the boss is a jerk. I ended up not getting the job. Phew!! So many things that seem good end up being bad, BUT vice versa! So many seemingly bad things end up being for our benefit!!

I like your silver lining!!! Hold on to as many positives as you can. You can do this!! You are strong!

Thanks @guy1111.

I was rejected for another job yesterday too. Luckily, this is the one with horrific reviews, so I didn't mind.

I do feel like I'm taking the whole world upon my shoulders. That's exactly how it feels.

I tried to end things with my husband last night: it was unsuccessful and I backed down. I am not ready yet. I don't have a job!

I am looking forward to my appt with my new therapist today.

I think I may have finally found a therapist who can truly help me. He is VERY well trained and is VERY good at what he does. I can tell this already.

However, he told me I've had a very hard life, after detailing to him my childhood, adolescence and adulthood years. It made me SO sad and I cried as soon as we closed the session. I became full of self pity and sorrow over all that I've endured throughout my life... he told me it's too much for anyone to have to bare.. And he's right.

I cannot believe that I am even still standing and fighting my way through. I should have left this earth long ago, and sometimes I wish I would just die already so it can be over. I'm not talking about SI -- I'm just saying let's get it over already. I am sick of living this crazy life of hardship.

Then again, I've also had a lot of insanely fun life adventures -- many many many amazing adventures. So there's a flip side to all my trauma and abuse.

It's such a dichotomy: the incredibly rich and adventurous life I've led, and also a life of constant hardship, crisis and abuse.

I wish I could just focus on all the positives my life has shown me, but I cannot. Right now, all I see is the hardship and the constant battle.

That's probably my depression in action that is coloring everything negative - all seems dark and bleak and I cannot seem to escape from it.

This therapist is my lifeline for healing and progress right now. I am clinging onto therapy to help save me from a life of destruction.

Hugs

I hope that after looking into past struggles and agreeing how hard it is, he will have ideas and strategies how to lead a satisfying life and enjoy it

I hope so! He said his goal will be to help me to break my toxic patterns with men.

Today is a very weird day emotionally. I'm very anxiety ridden.... so much so that I had to take TWO anti-anxiety pills.. and I am grieving the end of my marriage. I am on edge about job opportunities, and on edge about my job search. I've called the abuse hotline twice already today and may call them a third time today. I am also peri-menopausal - my last period has been TWELVE days long so far. I may be hormonal too right now. I'm having trouble with managing my haywire emotions.

I am a freaking mess.

I took the DUTCH hormonal test and it was an eye opener for me. I'd recommend it.

Thank you.

Hey @Have Hope I just wanted you to know that ven though I am going through my own ***** my thoughts are with you.

Thank you @sarahsweets!!! My thoughts are with you as well!!!!