How are you coping today? #7

Got a DBT workbook so I am going to try to work through that, hopefully with the help of my therapist.

Hardly coping. Struggling with pain and shame, wish I could go back tho i dont deserve it

I have an DBT and CBT on an app.

Treated myself to Dunkin Donuts twice even though coffee is giving me heartburn.

Keeping myself busy.

Long day today. Tired. I feel my med for ADHD ain’t doing anything! been absentminded, forgetful....

I'm counting my blessings and not being so hard on myself.

Feeling kind of scared at the moment. Doing some breathing. Going to work on a DBT workbook soon. Try to do one lesson.

Trying to encourage myself.

If I think about it I probably don’t deserve many of the things in my life either but I’ve come to t feel it’s not about deserving or otherwise. It’s possibly about doing our best in the moment with what resources we’ve got at that time. I’m still developing those thoughts. Peace to you.

I’m so tired and a bit achy, but I can slow down now. I have time off work and I’ve promised myself rest and focus on relaxation.

I had some acute anxiety today driving someplace new and confusing, but i got there okay and feel better now. I am very anxious and preoccupied in my thinking about my separation situation.

I've been crying and journaling and sleeping.

I am having a hard time. I wish & hope & pray.

I’m terrified to really be going forward with the legal separation, and knowing the end of the relationship is for real this time. I’m ashamed about how I have been. But, I also now understand I acted the way scientific processes caused me to act. I didn’t understand that at the time. I do now, so I can be gentle with myself for the inner critic beating me up about it.

Only one therapist said in a brief comment that I have attachment issues. There was no follow up. I took it upon myself to learn all about it now and, oh boy, I really have attachment issues. The good news is they are something that can be improved with a therapist. So I’m going to find someone to help me learn healthier attachment.

What’s the point of beating myself up about past mistakes? What’s done is done. I can’t change it. All I can do is move forward and try to be healthier.

I am feeling kind of upset today. I am trying to distract and to breathe and to look forward to my half day off of work even though part of it I will be at the doctor's.

Hoping your half day off does you some good and you can rest a little.

I think I am numb today. I don't know. Either that or I am so low (depressed) that I can't even tell.

i didn't do what i was planning on doing today, which made me feel upset and disappointed! but i'm starting to believe that 'working on my posters' is likely a coping mechanism for me....
but yeah, today was a difficult one anyways


*also the first time back in 15 months

I feel pretty numb today. I guess I have had too many emotions over the past few days. I am at work and covering for a coworker who is on vacation so there is more to do than usual. I am trying to do my best at covering her job even though I don't really know all the different things she does. So maybe a little anxious about that!

I been keeping myself busy by cleaning up and organizing my sister bedroom.

I’m okay today, my brain is firing off in different directions as usual but I’ve got some tasks done and just taking a break before starting again.

I am tired today... Anticipating a long week full of doctor’s appointments and events... Experiencing a big headache as I type...

I am learning to name the emotions I feel without placing judgments on myself. There are many negative emotions I feel over what happened, and it is hard to not judge and blame myself. I chose to stay in the bad situation. While there were reasons for this that do not point blame at me, other reasons are due to my selfishness. Yes, the worst thing I can say to put blame on me and shame on me is in some aspect I was selfish. Okay. Aren’t we all selfish sometimes? I can forgive myself for that. I feel remorseful mostly because my kids ended up being adversely affected. I did not realize this was happening at the time. I only know it now, in hindsight. This is why it is so important to show them a peaceful, happy me moving forward. As much as I wanted to set a good example, I really screwed up and did just the opposite. I feel terrible shame looking back, but I didn’t see it then, so I can’t change the past. I hope I will be better moving forward, finally.