Feeling abandoned.

For the last 3 years I have had a co worker call me, EVERY NIGHT. I didn't want to talk to her that much and tried to get out of it... but she was pushy. So I figured I would just dealt with it until she got sick of it.

She finally got sick of it... Huzzah.

But now I am so used to having my talk every night, I admit it, I feel lonely an rejected and... ANGRY. I now see why I shouldn't have let it go. Who knows what I could have been doing for the last 3 years during the talks.

It also sucks that she apparently got sick of it as I am dealing with a minor health crisis. Now that I need support.. she is gone.

I still have to be nice to her because we work together but I have for a while been trying to move away from entanglements with her at work.

I would feel hurt, too, like I'd been used.

Out of curiosity, did you ever call her?

What did you two talk about, generally, over these past 3 years?

If you feel like re-initiating the calls, would you feel comfortable speaking to her about why she stopped calling? Did she explicitly say she was fed up or something? Would you call her yourself?

It must indeed be awkward at work...


Sorry to hear you're having a health issue.

Hope you feel better soon.

It's interesting how we as people become attached to those constantly around, whether we want to or not, whether we like them or not. It makes sense to feel sad and angry over this. But also you can now do the things you want to do. Including meeting ppl you actually like and have and interest in.

I think there's a term for the bold text: propinquity.

You raise a really good point, WovenGalaxy;

Now NJ can look for more better and certainly more meaningful connections!

There's a silver lining ...

Not once. A few months back I made that point, hard, not sure she heard the point.

Work, but more recently she wanted to talk about personal lives which don't. But our work has diverged and she is doing different things than me.

I do not want to continue with the calls because I personally do not think it is wise to talk every night, and I have made this point many times. We just run out of things to say and I might want to do other things. But, I find it annoying that now that I am struggling with something she is outie. She didn't say anything but said she was calling up old friends to see if they could do things with her.

She also calls now when she knows I have to work. And she calls me when I am on the train. This means... she can talk, but I can't. Because our conversation can be overheard. The moment I make it to my car she has to go.

Irritated. She doesn't know how to end it.

You'd be well rid of her, NJ.

Some people, eh? Sheesh

Perhaps it's best to not form a relationship outside of work with this person?

The only way any relationship can truly work is if their is love involved from both parties. Otherwise, one person or both is just using the other. How do you know if it's a worthwhile pursuit?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I can understand that you're missing the phone calls that became part of your everyday life. It makes me think of social media when someone you don't even like unfriends you and it's like, whaaat? Fair play to her though, she tried and she had the backbone to stop trying. I kind of admire that. You just need to fill the gap with something else until you forget about it.