[JayS]

Why me?
I'm so tired of this life
No one likes me, no one loves me
I'm always laughed at, pointed at, made fun of
I feel like I'm dead, I'm nothing
I wish I was never born, I wish that more then ever
All I know how to do is push people away
Nothing will ever change, it never does
Why does everyone hate me?
I don't want to be here anymore
I wish I had the strength but I'm a coward
I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all
No one ever want's to listen to me
Everyone hates me, I feel like I'm not allow to talk
I'm just a big ****ing piece nothing
I hurt so much I wish I was dead

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( JayS ))))))))))))))))

I hear you

[Naturefreak]

I dont hate you Jay I think you're a wonderful person.
But I have nothing more to offer than my words and
hugs . I really do care about you and I'm sure alot of others
here feel the same way . I really don't know what else
to say . I just hope you don't do anything to hurt yourself.
I will always listen to you . Just Pm me anytime. Hang in there Jay

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((JayS)))))

You are not nothing and you are worthwhile. I do care and I am glad you are here. I know how you feel and I know what you are saying. You are not alone. Please know we are here for you to listen and walk with you through this time. Please take care of you and if things get so bad----please call someone for help. You do not deserve to be alone in this. I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I am here for you if you need or want to talk. Hang in there and please keep posting. We do care. Sending you gentle hugs if that is okay.

dps

[quote=JayS;1079052]Why me?
I'm so tired of this life
No one likes me, no one loves me
I'm always laughed at, pointed at, made fun of
I feel like I'm dead, I'm nothing
I wish I was never born, I wish that more then ever
All I know how to do is push people away
Nothing will ever change, it never does
Why does everyone hate me?
I don't want to be here anymore
I wish I had the strength but I'm a coward
I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all
No one ever want's to listen to me
Everyone hates me, I feel like I'm not allow to talk
I'm just a big ****ing piece nothing

I'm sorry you feel this way
You took the words out of my mouth as I could of written this myself.
I feel the exact same way. I feel so meaningless and unwanted as well.
I care about you. I really hope you feel better.

[idontknow13]

(((((JayS))))))

[turquoisesea]

[Rohag]

Is it cowardice? Or, is it perhaps a unique form of courageous wisdom?

[lynn P.]

Hey Jay,
I agree with Babysteps that no one hates you. What seems to be the problem today?? When you send me PM's we've been getting along fine. No one here feels bad toward you at all. I hope you feel better soon.

Please don't say that, JayS! No one hates you! There is nothing wrong with you. Please take care of yourself.

I have been made fun of before some, I sometimes wish I hadn't been born, & I feel like I can't do anything right & that I'm not good at anything. It's tough. Like I said, no one hates you! We're here for you & again, please take care!

[susan888]

(((JayS)))

I like you!!! Please be safe!

[*freak*]

I feel exactly the same way, pretty much all the time.
Supportive people are hard to find irl... but that's what PC is for We all care here... we're all listening to you. And no one here hates you.

I really hope things will start looking better for you very very soon

[kebsfroggy]

Originally Posted by JayS

Why me?
Why any of us?
I'm so tired of this life
Our disease convinces us we are tired of even taking the breaths that keep us alive
No one likes me, no one loves me
I'm always laughed at, pointed at, made fun of
Our disease points its finger at us saying "you're no good", "no one cares about you", "you are a total waste"
I feel like I'm dead, I'm nothing
I wish I was never born, I wish that more then ever
Yes. we even convince out selves that we are less than nothing
All I know how to do is push people away
Nothing will ever change, it never does
Why does everyone hate me?
I don't want to be here anymore
Our disease has us convinced we not worth the dirt we are standing on
I wish I had the strength but I'm a coward
I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all
We are cowards, we should not even be here
No one ever want's to listen to me
Everyone hates me, I feel like I'm not allow to talk
I'm just a big ****ing piece nothing
I hurt so much I wish I was dead
And we listen. Convincing ourselves the lies our disease tells us must be true. How could it be otherwise. Look at us. Why were we even put here on the earth.

We feel so low and nothing seems to make things better. However you, *freak*, myself and others like us are lucky. We have found a place where the people understand exactly how we are feeling and what we a going through. They have faced the choices we need to make.

It isn't easy and many times we slide to the bottom again right when we thought we had made it to top. But there are people here who understand and have faced the many challenges we have to make.

They are here and willing to help. You are not alone.





kebs

[Fuzzybear]

from the wise frog

[JayS]

Thank you everyone for all the kind words.... it really means a lot to me.

I still feel no better though, I'm just having a very stressful time

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by JayS

Why me?

Why any of us? Because we were the children of parents who were not well.

I'm so tired of this life



No one likes me, no one loves me

What makes you think this Jay? (You know I like you a lot!)

I'm always laughed at, pointed at, made fun of

Really???

I feel like I'm dead, I'm nothing


I wish I was never born, I wish that more then ever


All I know how to do is push people away

You have never pushed me away!

Nothing will ever change, it never does

But you have only begun your work!

Why does everyone hate me?

Why do you say this?

I don't want to be here anymore



I wish I had the strength but I'm a coward


I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all

Why do you say this?

No one ever want's to listen to me

We do here! Who doesn't IRL?

Everyone hates me, I feel like I'm not allow to talk

Why do you feel that you aren't allowed to talk???

I'm just a big ****ing piece nothing

Not to me!
I hurt so much I wish I was dead

..........

[dolphinmkr44]

Originally Posted by JayS

Why me?
I'm so tired of this life
No one likes me, no one loves me
I'm always laughed at, pointed at, made fun of
I feel like I'm dead, I'm nothing
I wish I was never born, I wish that more then ever
All I know how to do is push people away
Nothing will ever change, it never does
Why does everyone hate me?
I don't want to be here anymore
I wish I had the strength but I'm a coward
I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all
No one ever want's to listen to me
Everyone hates me, I feel like I'm not allow to talk
I'm just a big ****ing piece nothing
I hurt so much I wish I was dead

Jay...I feel for you. I have all these same feelings. I hope you will continue to share here. Take care of yourself.

[Amazonmom]

Jay, I would never laugh at you. The folks here at PC like you and enjoy talking with you. Did something happen in your life at home?

Your message got to me because I have often felt that way myself. Please stay safe, we care about you.

HUGS

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Why me?

Why any of us? Because we were the children of parents who were not well.

I'm so tired of this life



No one likes me, no one loves me

What makes you think this Jay? (You know I like you a lot!)

I'm always laughed at, pointed at, made fun of

Really???

I feel like I'm dead, I'm nothing


I wish I was never born, I wish that more then ever


All I know how to do is push people away

You have never pushed me away!

Nothing will ever change, it never does

But you have only begun your work!

Why does everyone hate me?

Why do you say this?

I don't want to be here anymore



I wish I had the strength but I'm a coward


I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all

Why do you say this?

No one ever want's to listen to me

We do here! Who doesn't IRL?

Everyone hates me, I feel like I'm not allow to talk

Why do you feel that you aren't allowed to talk???

I'm just a big ****ing piece nothing

Not to me!
I hurt so much I wish I was dead

..........

I didn't mean it should be someone else, so I'm sorry it looks like that... I don't want anyone to feel bad.

The reason I say No one likes me, no one loves me is cause it's true, I know it is cause I can feel it.

And I know everyone is making fun of me... I can tell what everyone is thinking when I look at there faces and they don't like me.

I know I haven't pushed you away yet... but sooner or later you won't want to talk to me anymore like everyone else.

And I can feel that everyone hates me... I just know they do, I can feel there hate coming at me in waves... I don't know why they hate me but I know they do.

I was always told no one ever want's to listen to me when I was younger... and when I say something, it seem no one cares so it must be true.

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

Jay, I would never laugh at you. The folks here at PC like you and enjoy talking with you. Did something happen in your life at home?

Your message got to me because I have often felt that way myself. Please stay safe, we care about you.

HUGS

I am sorry I hurt you... I did not mean to.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by JayS

I didn't mean it should be someone else, so I'm sorry it looks like that... I don't want anyone to feel bad.

My point was that getting stuck at the "why me" takes time away from getting better.

The reason I say No one likes me, no one loves me is cause it's true, I know it is cause I can feel it.

As I have read many times here, feelings aren't facts.......... (they are your feelings and are valid as such but our feelings sometimes are not "rational, objective truth" from the outside (I hope this makes sense!)

And I know everyone is making fun of me... I can tell what everyone is thinking when I look at there faces and they don't like me.

Ahhh, you don't know what people are thinking unless you ask them. After my assumptions of what others were thinking were always wrong I stopped assuming. I have a neighbor now who assumes all sorts of things about me. Her assumptions are her projections. I wish she would ask me before she assumes.

I know I haven't pushed you away yet... but sooner or later you won't want to talk to me anymore like everyone else.

Really................

And I can feel that everyone hates me... I just know they do, I can feel there hate coming at me in waves... I don't know why they hate me but I know they do.

Projections????????

I was always told no one ever want's to listen to me when I was younger... and when I say something, it seem no one cares so it must be true.

And who were these compassionate geniouses who told you this?

When you say something how are you saying it? Are you mumbling it so that no one can here it? Who are you saying it to? What else is going on in the situation? Really seeing what is going on is very helpful and helps healing. When you have come from a dysfunctional environment you learn dysfunction and can not possibly know anything else until you learn something different. Understanding what is going on and what you now have to learn is very helpful. I spent a lot of time doing this.

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Sannah

I didn't mean it should be someone else, so I'm sorry it looks like that... I don't want anyone to feel bad.

My point was that getting stuck at the "why me" takes time away from getting better.

The reason I say No one likes me, no one loves me is cause it's true, I know it is cause I can feel it.

As I have read many times here, feelings aren't facts.......... (they are your feelings and are valid as such but our feelings sometimes are not "rational, objective truth" from the outside (I hope this makes sense!)

And I know everyone is making fun of me... I can tell what everyone is thinking when I look at there faces and they don't like me.

Ahhh, you don't know what people are thinking unless you ask them. After my assumptions of what others were thinking were always wrong I stopped assuming. I have a neighbor now who assumes all sorts of things about me. Her assumptions are her projections. I wish she would ask me before she assumes.

I know I haven't pushed you away yet... but sooner or later you won't want to talk to me anymore like everyone else.

Really................

And I can feel that everyone hates me... I just know they do, I can feel there hate coming at me in waves... I don't know why they hate me but I know they do.

Projections????????

I was always told no one ever want's to listen to me when I was younger... and when I say something, it seem no one cares so it must be true.

And who were these compassionate geniouses who told you this?

When you say something how are you saying it? Are you mumbling it so that no one can here it? Who are you saying it to? What else is going on in the situation? Really seeing what is going on is very helpful and helps healing. When you have come from a dysfunctional environment you learn dysfunction and can not possibly know anything else until you learn something different. Understanding what is going on and what you now have to learn is very helpful. I spent a lot of time doing this.

I am sorry for not getting back sooner... but after reading what you said I started thinking something that scared me... I need more help then you can give me. Your post made me think that you are trying to control what I think... this scares me so much... I think I should stay silent for a while.

It was my parents that told me that stuff... and more.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by JayS

I need more help then you can give me.

I think that everyone seeking help here should also be in therapy. Have you had your appt. yet?

Your post made me think that you are trying to control what I think... this scares me so much... I think I should stay silent for a while.

I am sorry that this happened! I am glad that you realized that this happened. I do have a strong personality. My style here is to provide info and get people to think about their situation so that they can move forward. I can understand wanting to stay silent for a bit to collect yourself. I have done this too. I'll be around if you need me. Whatever you need is the best thing to do............

It was my parents that told me that stuff... and more.

I know.............

..........

[JayS]

My appointment is not for another 3 months... and I always need you.

[Sannah]

Then I will be here for you.........