it seems h

The world is out to get me. My son (8 year) hates me for wanting him to read. He tells me he dsnt care for me or anything. And he dsnt matter and he just want to make me cry. And the guy I like I dnt know what is going on there. I want to talk to him. But he's busy so I can't and even if he cld I dnt want to scare him off by ballng. Balling. My head is not clear I want to take stuff and just sleep I'm supposed to be on vacatipn but its going horribly wrong horribly wrong. I think I'm going to zone out and not participate and just cry till I can't cry anymore than maybe I will be numb and can help a ltl with the plans

I'm worthless to these ppl unless they want something from me. Always want something from me but I can't take it anymore the whining that won't stop I give up I may not make it back. I dnt know if I want to. I want it to end I want it all to end. Its done for me it the end for me I dnt care anymore

I hate it I hate ever minute of it from the cloudiness in my mind to the fatigue and the lack of motivation and the support that is not there. Ther is no support. None noone I'm all alone. All alone I'm tred of being alone but who wants to be around someone like me someone that cries that yells that dsnt know what to do I'm lost I tell u I'm so lost I dnt know where to go I ant to just ot be I don't want to be

((((bridgie)))) Hang in there you are not alone. Here are some hugs for you I will be right back have to think.

((((bridgie)))) The world is not out to get you but your depression is, fight back, you can beat it. Your son is wanting to do other things than read. It is OK he is 8 years old. I don't think that I would want to read over other things. Maybe you can try to make reading fun for him. I used to play a game with my son at the same time we read. We would have to read a page then we could make a few moves on the game board. It work for us don't know if it will work for you but my son loved to play games with me and this was a way I came up with that got him to read.

((((bridgie)))) You have a son and a guy in your life that is great. You are not worthless. This is depression trying to take you down, you can see it, that is a good sign, fight it back don't let it beat you.

Do you have a therapist or someone to talk to? You are not alone in your battle I too battle it everyday. I know how hard it can be. Depression likes to tell us that we are alone, worthless, not worth living but these are all lies - if depression can make us feel this way it wins - fight back you are not going to let depression beat you. Many hugs for you

I dnt have a therapist and noone else will listen to me anymore. They are tired of me sick of my moods and want me to just buck up. I have an appt soon to see someone I dnt want to be put on stuff but I know I will but if it makes me big I won't take it I eont I can't it'll make it worse. I don't need to feel worse. I just want to end it let it be over I want it over. Thank u for all your kind word empowering words I don't knoe if I'm strong enuff right noe to take them all in

I know how you feel about talking to people close to you, I know how that goes too. When you go in to see your therapist be very open with them, I know that it will be hard to do but they can't help you if they don't see the whole picture. Please hang in there - you are important to people around you even if depression does not let you see that at this time. More hugs for your day.

(((((bridgie))))) How are you doing?? Keep posting if you can.

((((((((((bridgie))))))))))))

Hang in there, Bridgie. Take it one moment at a time, but hang on. Keep posting and telling us how you are doing.

(((((((((((((( bridgie )))))))))))))))

So here I sit crying again. The tears are here for no reason. Its the start of a brand new day but my brand new day starts with me unable to do anything but cry. For no other reason than to just let it all out how much can one person let out. I feel like gallons have flown from my eyes and I'm nat doing anyone any good. Not my boy not my family or friends just wasting energy on this...this weight.

((((((((((bridgie)))))))))

((((bridgie))))

I have slept and that always brings a slight reprieve. I am drained at the moment but I am glad for all of your encouraging words. I must try and feed my son now. And myself even though I'm not hungry. Thank you

((((bridgie)))) So glad to hear that you are up and around. Feeding your son should be OK as they will eat when they are hungry. As for you I have been through this also where I was not eating for days. I was told to set munchies out next to me where I could see them. Anything that you like to nibble on works. You may not think so but your munchies will disappear. In your case you may have help from your 8 year old. But it will get you to eat something even if it is very little, do this also with a battle of water. Your intake my be very little but it is important for you to eat and drink. Good luck, Keep us posted. Hugs for your day.

My son asks mom why are u crying and I can't stop and I tell him I dnt know and he tells me he dsnt like it when I cry and I may have just ruined another relationship bcz I cldnt talk to them or explain to them why what I go through and expect them to want to be with me I feel so lonely and horrible and unlovable and all my chances at happiness are ruined bcz I can't get my act together. No man wants a whin crying woman and no child deserves a parent that can't be there for the emotionally. I may as well crawl back under the rock I came from where noone can be bothered by me. I think its all in ruins I've ruined it I've scared him off and pushed away I dnt want t let anyone in to see ths to know this peerson this shell of a person

Bridgie, I so wish I/we could simply sweep away all your pain and depression. What you are surviving now would crush me - you may laugh, but I and some others here wouldn't hesitate holding you up as an example of strength.

Among my observations is, even as depression defies logic, so does happiness. The richest, most accomplished person in the world can fall victim to depression. So also the most depressed person, feeling totally unworthy, can find her- or himself lifted up by happiness springing from who knows where.

Depression has found you. But your present circumstances can't prevent happiness from finding you, too. And my wish for you, and for your family, is that happiness may come quickly!

(((((((((((bridgie))))))))))

I wish you strength and love.