[JonSnow]

I have some nice friends, who i relate to and have fun with.
But non of them would understand what is happening to me.
I am pretty sure this is whats wrong with me, i'm still not sure.
I seem i cannot focus at all when in school lectures.
I am starting to fail every one of my classes because of this.
I am afraid of showing my mom my marks because i know she will be disappointed and will yell at me for several hours.
I don't feel she would understand, i think she would think that i am just looking for a way out of being yelled at so i don.t tell her anything.
I think i am drifting away from my friends and family slowly but surely.
Every night i cry about this.
I think about suicide every day.
I want out.

[lonegael]

((((((((JonSnow))))))) It sounds like you are having a really scary and lonely time of it. Jon, please talk to your school counselor or to your mom and see if you can go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist so that you can get help before this gets any worse!!! Is there any one else yoou can go to if for somereason you can't got to your mom? I know that if you were my kid, I wouldn't give a hoot about the grades if I knew you were dying inside. I'd want you to get help, and I do! Please talk to soemone about getting help a nd then let me know here, OK?Keep in touch with us here. Hang on.

[jacq10]

((((((((Jon))))))))

It sounds to me like a big portion of what you are struggling with is a result of how other people will react if they ever found out. I really do understand that concern, but there comes a time, especially times when you are feeling this low, that you have to do what is best for you. I'm not saying that what is best is that you go out and tell everyone all your deep dark secrets, but I do believe that sharing and talking with someone you trust is very healing.

You say that you have friends that you connect with, but are scared that they wouldn't understand. If the situation were reversed, would you want to know about how your friend is struggling? Would you like to be given the opportunity to help them? Chances are, if they're a true friend... they will do their best to understand. You need to give them the opportunity to, they might just surprise you.

May I ask how old you are? The reason I'm wondering is because if you are in either High School or University/College, there should be a counsellor that you can go speak with in confidence. My High School counsellor changed my life, and I really can't tell you how glad I am that I went and spoke with her.

You say that you want out. Are you sure that you're ready to give up everything, or is it that you're just feeling really alone and scared because of how you're feeling? Feeling like you have no one in your life you can trust can be very isolating and make you wish that things weren't this way. But the good thing is, that once you open that door of communication up just a little, I think you'll be surprised at what you find.

You've managed to make your way to PC so that is VERY optimistic. I'm glad you came, and I'm positive that if you stick around you will find others sharing similar struggles, and you won't have to face things by yourself.

There is nothing wrong with you Jon. You are human, and you have feelings. That is nothing to be ashamed about.

Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk
Jacqueline

[Lboogieg]

I know that if you were my kid, I wouldn't give a hoot about the grades if I knew you were dying inside.

I agree completely! I couldn't have said it better myself. I understand what it's like to have friends who you like and like you back but you feel like you can't let them in too far. I actually feel the same way about mine. I still haven't told my fam or friends about my depression...

I'm still with lonegael; keep in touch with us here! Keep holding on, and feel better soon okay? Let us know how you're doing.

[trevorzero]

No, I don't think that you are ready to give up. But you are certainly feeling overwhelmed. Just keep in mind that life can be a struggle sometimes and so you must soldier your way through the tough times.

If you try hard enough, you can find someone who will help you to share the burdens that you are facing. You don't have to go through these hard times alone.

[noobinberg]

This is coming from someone who has made multiple attempts to end it all.

I succeeded once and they brought me back. I was so deep in self hatred. I had very low self esteem. I didn't think that I had anything left to offer the world. I altered my kids mental states with this behavior. They felt for years that they were responsible for me feeling this way. As much as i assured them that it wasn't them, they still felt that way. By being selfish and only thinking of my own bubble and not what would be effected when it bursts I damaged every relationship in my life. It's been 7 years since my last attempt and I'm still repairing some relationships. Please think about who else would be effected by leaving for good. I hope you find it in yourself to seek live professional help for these feelings you are having. Get well soon and thanks for sharing.