[1000]

i'm feeling sick n tired now. my partner who suffer from depression, ate around 1 or 2 pack of sleeping pills yesterday. I was so heart break. he said he just wanna be more relax. ya, but how do we feel? has he ever think whether we 're worry of him. then he start to talk about his past, all his unhappiness, until 2am. He was drunk, couldn't stand well, but keep on talking. i'm starting to feel tired and fed up. we hav been encouraging and supporting him, but there's just no improvement.

ya, he could just hurt himself or commit suicide whenever he's unhappy or feel so useless. but how about us? can i do the same? can i kill myself? i know he won’t live long, he won’t stand any longer. my first love will end his life soon. he gav up his psychiatrist, he gav up himself. i don't know what else can i do, what's left in this life, i love him so much

[JudeeB]

You sound so worn out and drained. My heart goes out to you. I hope there is some way you can get some rest. You cannot fix another person but you can decide to take care of you.

sending a hug,
Judy

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by JudeeB

You cannot fix another person but you can decide to take care of you.

Well said.

1000, your partner is struggling with powerful illnesses - how great your love must be that you have held on and kept encouraging despite the discouragement of seeing no improvement. It is unlikely your partner would want the turmoil to drag you down. JudeeB is right; taking care of yourself is a real way of showing your love for the other.

Peace to you.

[BlueOak]

Dear 1000,

You are trying so hard and are in so much pain. I think it would help you to talk to a counselor or therapist about your relationship with your partner. If you do not have a counselor, you might want to consider calling your local mental health clinic and explain that you need to see a counselor.

Do you communicate to your partner what you have told us here? Do you let him know how hard it is for you to be supportive and encouraging when he acts like he wants to die? Does he understand how it would affect you if he really committed suicide?

If you want to tell us a little more about what he says to you and what you say to him, then maybe we could offer more suggestions.

Please post again about how things are going today, okay? And thank you for having the courage to post about your difficult situation.

BlueOak

[lonegael]

Oh (((((((1000))))))), my heart goes out to you. The above posts are very good. I just wanted to shar some warmth and hugs

[1000]

Thanks all~ previous day he ate so many sleeping pills. and yesterday he ate some sleeping pills again, when i went to work. that's y he slept the whole day yesterday, very blur. Today when i woke him up, he said he couldn't remember what happen yesterday. He look pale.

i'm trying to encourage/push him out of home, hoping he don't sleep too much, although i know the effect of the sleeping pills is still there. he can't stand stil. i'm planning to get him a puppy, the thing is he keep on sleeping. is the sleeping pills going to kill him soon? i'm still striving my best to get him recover.. and yes, i did tell him, i just lost my 13 years old pet, i can't lose him. but he said, he's not a good partner, may be i can get a better one after he's gone. god...

[1000]

he gets angry when i tell him i'm going to office. i know may be he feel bad and need me. but i hav to support him financially too. i need to work too. I'm holding on all this alone. my family don't know about it, so i hav to pretend nothing's on and rush back my home every night. He's very frustrated and angry when i said i'm going home. I'm tear upon two.

[lonegael]

((((((1000)))))) You know, I remember thinking the same thing as him, and my husband said "How dare you tell me what's best for me! Have you ever thought I don't want anyone else? I am an adult and can choose for myself, and I choose you."A litle authroitarian, perhaps, but it did start to make inroads into my sick little brain. Took some time, but it helped keep me around. Strength dear. If you need to talk, we are here

[1000]

Originally Posted by lonegael

((((((1000)))))) You know, I remember thinking the same thing as him, and my husband said "How dare you tell me what's best for me! Have you ever thought I don't want anyone else? I am an adult and can choose for myself, and I choose you."A litle authroitarian, perhaps, but it did start to make inroads into my sick little brain. Took some time, but it helped keep me around. Strength dear. If you need to talk, we are here

Thanks~~ lonegael, i took your advice. he was very hot tempered last week, after the overdose of sleeping pills. i was actually very scared deep in heart. but i voice out. i tell him that no matter what happen, i will always care about him. i'm not sure whether it means something to him, but later on he started to talk more about his fear, his worries.

he hate himself as he think he's useless. he wan to recover soon coz he think he waste a few years not working because of depression. but he's still struggling and depress. i'm very tired and stress as i constantly worrying about him. thanks for listening...

[billieJ]

Dear 1000, ~ I can't know your boyfriend well enough to say much of anything, but he really seems to have some illnesses which often go together - addiction and depression. If this is your first love, you must be fairly young. If you are having to support him, if you have no support for the problems you are having with him, and if you have to return from your daily work to find him eating pills and drinking, where is the time and opporturnity to do something for yourself? I am not speak badly about your boyfriend, as I, too, have addictive and certainly depressive tendencies. But unless there are some tremendous changes in both of you - him for his problems, you for your possible co-dependency, you will end up supporting him and being in this unhappy situation from now on. It doesn't sound like that's what you want. I, too, have been in a situation very, very similar to yours. I know how strong co-dependent love can be, but, as a waitress, I couldn't support my husband forever, and it became obvious that this addiction and depression were killing him. Literally killing him. I couldn't let the situation continue. I can't assume what your best situation would be, but I paid for a one-way, non-negotiable bus ticket to his mother's home in another state, and had police make sure he got on the bus. They did not arrest him or hurt him in any way. This worked for me, because it was in my small home town. It hurt a lot for a time. Then time passed, it stopped hurting, and better opportunities presented themselves. Best of lot to you and to your boyfriend and battling these very realy illnesses. He will have to desire to get well for himself before his efforts will have success. His trying to do it for you will not work. billieJ

[Naturefreak]

1000 Hugs for ((((1000))))
Twelve is the limit per post , ta heck with that.
So sorry you are dealing with this .
Please take care of YOURSELF.