Voices!! what does this mean???

larakeziah · Oct 23, 2009, 09:47 AM

My counsellor came to visit me earlier and he asked how i'd been, sleeping and eating etc... So I told him that i wasn't eating much and I still hadn't been sleeping properly, a couple of hours a night. wednesday night had a couple of hours sleep an then i was up for over 25 hrs and then got a couple of hrs this morning at bout 8am, but that i'd not been tired during day or anything and had a quite a good week!!! until wednesday night wen i got home and i SI'd for first time in a few months. So he asked why I had done this and so I told him, ( I've never spoken bout this before), the vooices told me that i didn't deserve to be happy and should punnish myself, that i should cut myself. So I did. He asked a bit about the voice if they told me to hurt other ppl and what other things they say. so tried to be as honest as i felt comfortable and told him about one time they told me to stab my brother! I didn't but i threatened too and this really scared me and him the poor boy!!!! he was only 18 i think at the time. It was about 5 yrs ago i think. I felt dreadful the next day wen i realised what i'd done!!!! and still feel bad to this day, always will!!! They aslo tell me things like that my friends are turning against me and talking behind my back and laughing at me, and also when i'm on the bus, they say that ppl are talking and laughing at me. This makes me very anxious and paranoid!!!!!

He asked if i wanted any medication for the voices so asked if that'd help and he said yeah but he'd have to arrange a meeting with the clinical psychologist to talk about the voices so they can get a better understanding.

What does this mean?? what medication?? why do I hear the voices???

Am I going crazy????

Am really worried that I should not have mentioned it to him!!!!!

Am in need of some advice pls!!!!!

Lboogieg · Oct 23, 2009, 10:00 AM

Wow Lara.

You and I have been talking for a little while and it does sound pretty weird. Do you think it could have something to do with the food and sleep deprivation? Since you're not getting a whole lot of sleep (even with meds) and not eating much, maybe your mind is playing tricks on you.

Poor little brother! But good thing you didn't listen to those voices that time. They're lying to you anyway; you don't deserve to be punished and you do deserve to be happy.

Medication might help for the voices, 'cause you definitely don't want to be listening to them and I'm sure it's uber-annoying.

Good luck, hun!

You know I care about you and I hope you feel better soon, even though it's a frightening time for you. For the record, I don't think you're crazy.

larakeziah · Oct 23, 2009, 10:44 AM

i've had these voices for bout 10 yrs or more but don't like to talk bout them much incase ppl thimk i'm insane!!!!

Thanks Lb

BlueOak · Oct 23, 2009, 11:14 AM

Dear Larakeziah,

My first piece of advice would be to suggest that you take a deep breath and try to calm yourself by remembering that YOU are in control of your treatment.

I think it is a good thing that you told your counselor about the voices. I also think it's a good thing that he recognizes he needs to consult with someone else in order to understand what is going on with you better.

I was taught that sometimes people report having voices when what they are really experiencing are obsessive thoughts, thoughts they can't get out of their head. If that's the case with you, then they would probably not recommend medication. If the voices sound like they are coming from outside of your head, then they are probably "real" auditory hallucinations and there are a variety of medications that might reduce or eliminate the voices. Every medication carries some risks, of course, and has the possibility of causing unwanted side effects, so it would be your decision whether you wanted to try one of these medications.

From the way you describe the voices, it sounds as if they are very harsh and cruel toward you. So I would think you might want to try a medication to try to get rid of them. But it doesn't matter what I think! It's what you think that counts.

As for what's causing them, it could be a number of things. If you have a history of severe or prolonged trauma, then it would not be so surprising that you would occasionally experience auditory hallucinations. You don't describe any other psychotic symptoms -- well, possibly your paranoia -- but in any case it does NOT sound to me like you are going "crazy". My ex-wife had both auditory and visual hallucinations from time to time (as well as depressive and anxiety symptoms), but she was definitely not crazy; she was definitely not schizophrenic.

I can understand your fear and anxiety about divulging this to your counselor. But they are not going to toss you into a psychiatric unit or anything like that! I'd bet my (meager) life savings on that!

I suggest you try to see this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, to develop more insight into what made you the person you are today and how your different symptoms relate to each other. You may or may not decide to try a medication for the voices. Even if you don't, there are ways your counselor and you can work together to try to get some control over the voices so that they don't cause you as much pain and harm.

I know it's scary but this is also an exciting time for you. Good luck and let us know what happens.

BlueOak

hydbc · Oct 23, 2009, 11:19 AM

Yeah, Lara. Try really hard to just relax and take things easy at the moment. You did the right thing by telling your T and us and we're all here to support you. I don't know what medication they'll put you on but I do know that they're often really effective at reducing hallucinations like voices. So take the pills and stay on them so things like that incident with your brother don't repeat themselves. Just remember that you're safe and you can talk to us anytime you need to Ok?

Rohag · Oct 23, 2009, 11:37 AM

Note: Those other great posts above make this superfluous, but since I already composed it...

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