Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 11:19 AM
lindee's Avatar
lindee lindee is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 161
Just need someone to care.

I feel like I want to explode. Want to tear something up , destoy something, anything. But instead I am imploding. Taking all my rage and turning inside. I am a quiet person but today , actually for a long time, I am a raging maniac. On the inside. I can't sit still but i just want to crawl into a hole. I am not productive. I don't do anything but sit and then up and pace. i am a misfit. I never do anything right.

I have been told all the things that I should be doing to help myself. Including not using the word "should". Have been going to therapy for almost six years. But I just waste it. Why don't I do what I need to do?

I am such a waste of bone and flesh.

I have a husband of 30 years who loves me with all his heart. He would do anything for me but he doesn't know what else to do for me.

Its a bad day.
Thanks for this!
ADHD1956

advertisement
  #2  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 11:24 AM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
bad days happen sometimes ((lindy))) we care, sending hope
Thanks for this!
lindee, lonegael
  #3  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 11:32 AM
pegasus's Avatar
pegasus pegasus is offline
Q&A Leader
 
Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 94,092
((((((( lindee )))))))

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. Is there something that has triggered this today?

Be gentle with you.
__________________


Pegasus


Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
  #4  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 11:44 AM
justfloating's Avatar
justfloating justfloating is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Scotland/Canada
Posts: 1,502
Sorry you're having a bad day today, lindee. I care and am sending lots of hugs your way.
__________________
Rebecca

"If you're going through hell -- keep going."
- Winston Churchill


It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.
- Elizabeth Gilbert

Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong,
we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on.
Bring on the wonder, bring on the song,
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long.
- Susan Enan


http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #5  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 11:50 AM
lindee's Avatar
lindee lindee is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
((((((( lindee )))))))

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. Is there something that has triggered this today?

Be gentle with you.
No trigger that I know of. Its just me. thanks for the hugs
  #6  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 12:00 PM
gimmeice's Avatar
gimmeice gimmeice is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,416
(((((((((((( lindee ))))))))))))))))

Here are some hugs
Does your T know how you are feeling?
__________________

does anyone care?

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net
  #7  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 12:06 PM
lindee's Avatar
lindee lindee is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 161
yeah she knows. I like her. Its not a problem with her. I just don't do what she tells me to do. :-( I'm pretty useless.

Thanks for your reply. there are so many good people on PC. I think I should get more involved here.
  #8  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 01:25 PM
Tumnus's Avatar
Tumnus Tumnus is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Roseville
Posts: 578
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindee View Post
:-( I'm pretty useless.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't know you but I know that no one is useless.
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #9  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 03:20 PM
turquoisesea's Avatar
turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindee View Post

I have a husband of 30 years who loves me with all his heart. He would do anything for me but he doesn't know what else to do for me.

If you are loved, you are not a waste of bone and flesh

__________________
does anyone care?

Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

Thanks for this!
lindee
  #10  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 04:46 PM
me05 me05 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2008
Posts: 48
I'm sorry you feel like this you have someone that cares for you. You are not a waste at all! We all have bad days. I hope you are feeling better.
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #11  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 06:19 PM
shaudy1 shaudy1 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 1
Hi Lindee,

I care. Reading your letter made me want to immediately tell you so. I fully understand and can feel what you are going through. I am in the same boat; only I have been married for 34 years. I feel alone all the time. Sometimes I even want to get a divorce because he still doesn't understand the pain I am in. Yet, He takes care of everything & me. I am totally dependant on him and worry about what I would do if he left me.

Wish I could be your neighbor because I have no friends. Being isolated and sad all the time isn't very attractive.

Hope to talk again.

Shaudy1
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindee View Post
Just need someone to care.

I feel like I want to explode. Want to tear something up , destoy something, anything. But instead I am imploding. Taking all my rage and turning inside. I am a quiet person but today , actually for a long time, I am a raging maniac. On the inside. I can't sit still but i just want to crawl into a hole. I am not productive. I don't do anything but sit and then up and pace. i am a misfit. I never do anything right.

I have been told all the things that I should be doing to help myself. Including not using the word "should". Have been going to therapy for almost six years. But I just waste it. Why don't I do what I need to do?

I am such a waste of bone and flesh.

I have a husband of 30 years who loves me with all his heart. He would do anything for me but he doesn't know what else to do for me.

Its a bad day.
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #12  
Old Feb 23, 2009, 07:53 PM
kebsfroggy's Avatar
kebsfroggy kebsfroggy is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: Lily Pad, USA
Posts: 4,025
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindee View Post
Just need someone to care.

I feel like I want to explode. Want to tear something up , destoy something, anything. But instead I am imploding. Taking all my rage and turning inside. I am a quiet person but today , actually for a long time, I am a raging maniac. On the inside. I can't sit still but i just want to crawl into a hole. I am not productive. I don't do anything but sit and then up and pace. i am a misfit. I never do anything right.

I have been told all the things that I should be doing to help myself. Including not using the word "should". Have been going to therapy for almost six years. But I just waste it. Why don't I do what I need to do?

I am such a waste of bone and flesh.

I have a husband of 30 years who loves me with all his heart. He would do anything for me but he doesn't know what else to do for me.

Its a bad day.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that it is your illness that is causing your "bad day"

I can't even remember how long I've been under going treatment. Those couple of "good days" that come along are way less than the number of "bad days".

And yes we know all the things we are suppose to do and say on the "bad days". However, knowing and doing are miles apart when you are having a "bad day".

But you are NOT a waste of bone and flesh. You are a person suffering with an illness that is so tricky it can destroy all the "good days".

You are always welcome here Lindee
__________________
kebsdoes anyone care?
Thanks for this!
lindee, lonegael
  #13  
Old Jan 01, 2010, 10:10 AM
ADHD1956's Avatar
ADHD1956 ADHD1956 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Wyoming U.S.A.
Posts: 7,040
does anyone care?
__________________
does anyone care?
Thanks for this!
lindee, lonegael
  #14  
Old Jan 01, 2010, 01:44 PM
googley's Avatar
googley googley is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 7,516
(((((lindee)))))



I hope you feel better.
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #15  
Old Jan 01, 2010, 06:59 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
(((((((((((((((( lindee ))))))))))))))))
__________________
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #16  
Old Jan 01, 2010, 07:24 PM
changeisgood changeisgood is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2010
Posts: 10
i hope you feel better. i too have few friends and tend to be isolated.i hope we can work on that this new year 2010. happy new year and God bless!!!!
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #17  
Old Jan 03, 2010, 07:19 PM
ADHD1956's Avatar
ADHD1956 ADHD1956 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Wyoming U.S.A.
Posts: 7,040
does anyone care?
__________________
does anyone care?
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #18  
Old Jan 03, 2010, 10:49 PM
SWA 1971's Avatar
SWA 1971 SWA 1971 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: That's none of your business.
Posts: 274
Thanks for this!
lindee
  #19  
Old Jan 05, 2010, 01:56 PM
coko27's Avatar
coko27 coko27 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2009
Location: columbia sc
Posts: 345
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindee View Post
Just need someone to care.

I feel like I want to explode. Want to tear something up , destoy something, anything. But instead I am imploding. Taking all my rage and turning inside. I am a quiet person but today , actually for a long time, I am a raging maniac. On the inside. I can't sit still but i just want to crawl into a hole. I am not productive. I don't do anything but sit and then up and pace. i am a misfit. I never do anything right.

I have been told all the things that I should be doing to help myself. Including not using the word "should". Have been going to therapy for almost six years. But I just waste it. Why don't I do what I need to do?

I am such a waste of bone and flesh.

I have a husband of 30 years who loves me with all his heart. He would do anything for me but he doesn't know what else to do for me.

Its a bad day.
I care I am sorry you are suffering and yes I care.
__________________
coko 4 real
  #20  
Old Jan 07, 2010, 05:04 AM
ADHD1956's Avatar
ADHD1956 ADHD1956 is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Wyoming U.S.A.
Posts: 7,040
does anyone care?
__________________
does anyone care?
  #21  
Old Jan 07, 2010, 06:00 AM
Rohag's Avatar
Rohag Rohag is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,045
Hi, Lindee! When this thread first appeared I was new and timid to post. How goes it with you now?
__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
  #22  
Old Jan 07, 2010, 06:06 AM
Lilly76's Avatar
Lilly76 Lilly76 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 24
Sorry you're feeling so down on yourself Lindee. You are worth more then you realise. There are people around you that love you, please try and hold onto that truth instead of listening to the lies in your own mind. You are never a waste of bone and flesh. We are so often our own worst enemy and despite what we know is good for us, we take the alternate path of self destruction.

Have you talked about your feelings of rage with your T? I have frequent periods where I feel a rage inside that's directed at myself. It also feels like I'm going to implode. Maybe there are things that sub-consciously trigger these emotions. You could maybe explore this with your T?

Please try to take of yourself and post when you feel alone and have these feelings. It's not good to keep it all inside. I've found it really does help to know that people on PC will be there to encourage and support. Even though we may no know you personally, we can empathise with you and genuinely do care.

  #23  
Old Jan 07, 2010, 03:44 PM
u2nance's Avatar
u2nance u2nance is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Posts: 25
Lindee, I'm sorry you feel so lousy. I've been there so often...I know exactly how you feel! I, too, have a loving husband of 31 years who often feels so helpless when he cannot make me feel better. That's when I have to TELL myself how incredibly blessed I am! (even when it doesn't feel like it) When I look around and see people who seem to have it all and are totally unhappy. I remind myself that being loved by just one person---really loved---is being worthwhile. Hang on...you are loved!!!
__________________
  #24  
Old Jan 07, 2010, 04:30 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
((((((((((((((((( lindee )))))))))))))))))))
__________________
Reply
Views: 1235

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:47 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.