nothing good to look forward to . . .

there's nothing














































































































nothing

(((((((((((((( Jennie )))))))))))))))

jennie,
it sure sounds like your disease is talking and the jennie we all know is hostage to that dratted disease at the moment.

Depression is a bear and compound that with PTSD and you have years of icky healing work and frustrations and meds and hospitals and therapists and so on. Bleh!

I look forward to your contributions to this board. I am sorry that right now you're not able to find something to look forward to........that's how depressive thinking goes. Stinkin' thinkin'!!

offered up in kindness from one who has been in that blackest darkness,

"Find something."

That's what I was told when I was in addiction counseling and people started sharing about what or who they wanted to get sober for. I had no one and no interest, goal, motivating factor that seemed more compelling that partying. Which had long ceased to be a party for me and was just a dismal effort to numb myself from reality.

I've now been clean and sober for many, many years . . . and I've had some "things" that really mattered . . . and then they all were swept away . . . so now I'm working on my relationship with the word that signifies a power greater than ourselves and can't be mentioned on this site and my inner being.

Keep searching, Jennie. Keep reaching out. It's all there is.

TC

((((((((((Jennie))))))))

I think you're getting excellent advice here, b/c I also have "been there, done that" hundreds of times since my DX of Major Depressive Disorder" The endless insanity of the suffocating blackness where no one can hear you scream..........

But, you've posted your "scream" and you got some real good advice from "sages of nothingness" Listen........and REACH OUT! ..........and don't ever give up b/c "it" is "out there"
DAYZEE9

Sometimes it's so hard to hang onto little things to relieve the darkness . . . I hope my previous post didn't seem flippant because it's such a struggle for me. Sometimes cultivating a spiritual life seems worthwhile, and sometimes it's not enough . . . but I guess it's better to "act as if" something makes life worthwhile, even a nice shower, than to dwell on the nothingness.

"Sages of nothingness" -- you've got that right, Dayzee.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jennie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sometimes the only think that i can do that is "good" is to take a warm bath or eat some real food.......it's that complex and it's that simple...xoxo pat

What do you mean, "nothing"? Wifi and I just provided an hour's worth of jokes for you guys on another thread. You never know... there may be more tomorrow....

Kidding... hope you feel better soon, Jennie

thanks . . . silver_queen . . . __zh . . . Wants2Fly . . . dayzee9 . . . jmo531 . . . fayerody . . . LMo

i don't know what i'm doing

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Stinkin' thinkin'!!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> __zh . . . yep


</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"Find something."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Wants2Fly . . . i'll try


</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"sages of nothingness"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> dayzee . . . you've said it


</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I hope my previous post didn't seem flippant because it's such a struggle for me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Wants2Fly . . . i appreciate every post . . . they are honest


</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
it's that complex and it's that simple

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> fayerody . . . baby steps, yep

You know what, Jennie. I think you've got a great attitude! That's something to applaud.

Sometimes we write something and the person interprets it defensively or says, I've tried that, doesn't work, not gonna try again, but you didn't do that.

You looked for the good in every post, even if it was only that someone cared enough to post!

I think that's very special. I hope that you will see this fineness in yourself -- and give yourself a hug, a warm bath, some comfort food, a walk in the park, whatever provides a moment of relief from the darkness and pain.

jennie, you just breathed a huge breath of wonderful and vibrant air into this place!! you rock!! pat

for someone who claims to not know what they're doing you're doing a darn fine job!!

jennie....I can't remember offhand if you deal with just mean ol vanilla depression or the one two punch of bipolar. Either way when the depressive side of things hits it hits hard.

You've shown us here that you're a fighter. Your posts have been things to draw strength from for others. I know I've certainly looked for your posts before and have been glad to have read your words. You've offered up healing to others here and helped us.

Now....is there anything we can do for you???

... that's the depression telling you lies...

it whispers so you can't argue

it chants so you can't think on your own

most of all it lies.