[redredblueblue22]

my mom is blaming me for everything shes always puting me down i dont no how much more of this i can take i just wanna knock her in the head and tell her to here hersel shes blaming things on me thats not my problem. its sad to have to be treated so mean in my own house i can t live happly enymore shes taking out evreything on my because i wont talk to her about my issues but if she could see herself she would no why i feel so alone she doesn't understand

[Rohag]

Hi, Redredblueblue22!

"my mom is blaming me for everything" - I've read your short biography in your profile. I know you're not to blame for everything. In fact, I'm surprised you're doing as well as you are.

"i just wanna knock her in the head and tell her to here hersel shes blaming things on me thats not my problem." - My guess is that your mom is too close and too involved in everything; she's not going to be able to see things objectively. Knocking her in the head or telling her anything other than what she already believes won't help. I think you're right; I suspect you really can't talk to your mom about the things troubling you. (I could be wrong; I only have the little information you've revealed to go on, and I suspect there's a lot more you could tell us.)

Redredblueblue22, I hope you can find folks to talk to, people you can tell your whole story to without blaming you for anything. You deserve that.

[billieJ]

Dear Redblue ~ Your mom is projecting blame onto you that may rightfully belong to her. People with paranoia tend to do that. I am sorry that this is happening to you, very, very sorry. Concentrate on preparing yourself for independence, whatever that may take in your case [e.g. concentrate on studying for college; or get a part time job to prepare yourself for the working world]. Realize that you are NOT to blame, which you seem to have been well able to do, so that the harm done to you is minimized. Then busy yourself with things not involving her, stay away from her as much as possible, and prepare to move out when you can. Also - try to see her as having severe problems of her own, so that, as time goes by, you can forgive her, not for her sake, but rather to keep the anger from poisoning you! Know that you are cared about here ~ billieJ

[starrina]

Red what you say is how it was for us growing up
and then unfortunatly this is how it is between my daughter
and I and to some degree I know I have to take my share of the blame
now I am not saying you are to blame but if you could maybe try to
see it from a mothers point for just a sec see I am wondering
if she is having some issue with anxiety and that perhaps that
anxiety is based around the fact that as a mother she feels inadiqute
(excuse spelling) because she wants to help but she does not know
where to even begin.Its just a thought something you can think about
I told my daughter recently after yet another disagreement I said to her
"Sometimes Loves Just Not Enough"
Do you have somewhere lse you can go to if things get worse or you?.

[redredblueblue22]

my mom does have meny issues shes on to meny meds to count i only no some of her issues s he has deppresion phobias ptsd adhd anxioty and much more . im always wishing i did not com e home from the group home because mune and her relation ship at that time was much better

[Last-Day-FIN]

Something I'm still working on everything is learning not to take
anything from anyone personally.
No one truly knows how your feeling inside, so when your going
through one of your episodes, it just seems like the whole world
is out to get you because you expect them to understand how you
feel. When really, no body can understand.

Tuning people out can be helpful. But there's a fine line.

[redredblueblue22]

the fight goes on im getting angrer by the minute im about to LOSE IT im shakeing so bad from the anger

[redredblueblue22]

thank u ever one it really help

[Rohag]

Redredblueblue22, please keep us informed of how you're doing. Here's a good place to dump anger and frustration.

[BeautifullyMistaken]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Redredblueblue22, please keep us informed of how you're doing. Here's a good place to dump anger and frustration.

I agree. This is a good place to be for advice.

Originally Posted by redredblueblue22

my mom is blaming me for everything shes always puting me down i dont no how much more of this i can take i just wanna knock her in the head and tell her to here hersel shes blaming things on me thats not my problem. its sad to have to be treated so mean in my own house i can t live happly enymore shes taking out evreything on my because i wont talk to her about my issues but if she could see herself she would no why i feel so alone she doesn't understand

I'm sure that your mom cares, which is why she is asking about your issues. I think it could be worse if she avoided the fact there was a problem and made you 'figure it out' yourself. When you guys get into arguement, try to leave the situation and find someplace to be alone. Take a few deep breaths and write down your feelings (start a journal maybe). You might be surprised as to how helpful it is to write down how you are feeling because instead on intensifying the situation you can release your frustrations out on paper. Hope all goes well for you.

[lonegael]

Hang in there, dear. If it feels like the anger is taking over, get out and take a walk or hang out at the corner store or anything before it gets out of hand and things get dais and done that shouldn't be, or in the wrong way. Just tell her "I'm gona blow, I have to go and clear my mind. Please don't talk to me about this before tomorrow,OK?" and just go. A friend of mine gave me this advice once and it was some of the best I have ever gotten. I'm so sorry that you and your mom are having troouble. sometimes it's simply that you are two people whose needs and wants don't mesh. Huggs, I know how that can be. Both Billie J and Starrina have good things to think about. I hope you can hammer this out between you!