[complic8d]

It's all back again. The anxiety, the depression, the intrusive thoughts of SI and death. I have that "I have to get out of here" feeling, only the "here" I need to get out of is life. I had one good week, now I have to survive in hopes of one more at some unknown time?? So sick of survival mode, I would really like to be able to enjoy things, and not be triggered by everything. I'm sorry, I just had to do something with my thoughts. I knew you would understand. Love and HUGS!

[silver_queen]

Yeah it's hard I know, especially when you think that you've left those thought behind and progressed, only to find that they've returned again.

(((((((((((((( comp ))))))))))))))))

[Miss_A]

I dunno what to say... hold on I'll post back in 10 minutes promise!

[Miss_A]

The thing is that your never alone, I have been feeling the same way kind of but the question you've gotta ask is do you really want to go deep down inside of your heart? Others around me trigger me off sometimes and I can't work out what to do? But have you ever gone back to to a time which actually meant something to you..... Does any one understand depression!?!

[Schatze]

complic8d, my heart goes out to you.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((giant hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Miss_A]

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((Comp)))))))))))))))))))

I understand your feelings exactly. I too suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD (obsessional). The intrusive thoughts mixed with the depression are enough to tare anyone down. Beleive me I know.

What helps me is to remember that the thoughts are only thoughts. Yes they are disturbing and horrible but they are thoughts and your not going to act on them. Notice them for what they are, just thoughts. Sometimes we spend so much time avoiding what we are afraid of instead of facing it head on. Ya know what I mean?

Comp,

I have been in your shoes so many times and I understand the pain and agony your feeling right now. I am so very sorry. I can only offer the method of coping that I use. Well, I can offer you some hugs as well. Please take care and post as often as you need to. I also find that helpful. Take care comp. I am wishing peaceful thoughts for you.

((((((((((((((((Comp)))))))))))))))))))

Much love,


Jen

[HelplessHopeless]

Comp,

I know waht you're feeling, you're not alone. The feeling of succsess and conqure but the feeling of agony and depression take over again and you can't cope. Just remember ou're not alone and prayer comes your way. Do waht ever yo uhave to do, post, chat, talk, what ever. Please, I know things will get better, just hold on to life. Hold on tight.

[jmo531]

http://psychcentral.com/psypsych/Pure_Obsessional_OCD


Please read that Comp. I know I have talked to you a little about this. Hopefully this can answer any questions that you have. Take care.


Much love,


Jen

[complic8d]

Thank you so much for the supportive replies. It hurts to know that others understand because they have been, or are there, too. But it helps to know that I am not the only one struggling with this. HUGS to all!

Jen, thanks for the link. I went to the site at the bottom of the article, and I can definitely see myself in the Pure-O type, but more closely seem to match the Responsibility OC type. I am driven by guilt, it's what motivates me. I can't even imagine doing the CBT stuff, how horrifying. I hope you are finding some answers. Love ya, and thanks.

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((comp))))))))))))))))))))))

[SS8282]

(((((((((((comp))))))))))) I understand, been there many times myself. Please take care.

[(JD)]

(((((Comp))))))) yes unfortunately many of us do understand because of experience. One thing I think I have learned is that I don't need to run away... even though I often want to... because 1) I live alone in my own house 2) I am safest at home where I know everything about my surroundings 3) my dog is here with me, my best "friend" 4) if I ran away, I would just have to come back for sessions with my psychologist 5) running away would put me into an environment that not only would I not know it, but they wouldn't know me at least here, if something were to happen, the police know I'm a resident. 6) I will be the same person (depressed, disabled) whether I'm here or another place sigh.

It doesn't take the feeling of the need for "flight" but if I can run those thoughts through my brain, I can feel better about not fleeing...

TC

[complic8d]

Sky- I'm glad you can think yourself past those thoughts! To quote from a song by Switchfoot, "where can you run to escape from yourself?", I guess I'm not going anywhere. I wish I could, but I guess I need to learn how to cope with the thoughts and deal with "things" to get past them. Thanks and HUGS!

[(JD)]

yw ((((hugs back))))) as for the... permanent leaving?.... I'm still working on changing those feelings and thoughts. T is active for me on them. There's so many parameters, it would take a huge thread to cover them imo.

As for "triggering" yourself... nah... you are just trying out things to try and put your life back together as it was. Learning what is still there for you, and what you need to change is a tough lesson.

TC