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  #1  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 09:26 AM
complic8d's Avatar
complic8d complic8d is offline
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Not again??? (trigger) It's all back again. The anxiety, the depression, the intrusive thoughts of SI and death. I have that "I have to get out of here" feeling, only the "here" I need to get out of is life. I had one good week, now I have to survive in hopes of one more at some unknown time?? So sick of survival mode, I would really like to be able to enjoy things, and not be triggered by everything. I'm sorry, I just had to do something with my thoughts. I knew you would understand. Love and HUGS!
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complic8d

"Don't say I'm out of touch
with this rampant chaos-your reality
I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape."
♥evanescence♥

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  #2  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 09:50 AM
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silver_queen silver_queen is offline
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Yeah it's hard I know, especially when you think that you've left those thought behind and progressed, only to find that they've returned again.

(((((((((((((( comp ))))))))))))))))
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  #3  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 11:19 AM
Miss_A Miss_A is offline
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I dunno what to say... hold on I'll post back in 10 minutes promise!
  #4  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 11:31 AM
Miss_A Miss_A is offline
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The thing is that your never alone, I have been feeling the same way kind of but the question you've gotta ask is do you really want to go deep down inside of your heart? Others around me trigger me off sometimes and I can't work out what to do? But have you ever gone back to to a time which actually meant something to you..... Does any one understand depression!?!
  #5  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 11:34 AM
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Schatze Schatze is offline
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complic8d, my heart goes out to you.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((giant hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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  #6  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 11:42 AM
Miss_A Miss_A is offline
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Not again??? (trigger)
  #7  
Old Jun 14, 2005, 11:43 AM
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jmo531 jmo531 is offline
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(((((((((((((((((Comp)))))))))))))))))))

I understand your feelings exactly. I too suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD (obsessional). The intrusive thoughts mixed with the depression are enough to tare anyone down. Beleive me I know.

What helps me is to remember that the thoughts are only thoughts. Yes they are disturbing and horrible but they are thoughts and your not going to act on them. Notice them for what they are, just thoughts. Sometimes we spend so much time avoiding what we are afraid of instead of facing it head on. Ya know what I mean?

Comp,

I have been in your shoes so many times and I understand the pain and agony your feeling right now. I am so very sorry. I can only offer the method of coping that I use. Well, I can offer you some hugs as well. Please take care and post as often as you need to. I also find that helpful. Take care comp. I am wishing peaceful thoughts for you.

((((((((((((((((Comp)))))))))))))))))))

Much love,


Jen
  #8  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 11:53 AM
HelplessHopeless HelplessHopeless is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2005
Posts: 88
Comp,

I know waht you're feeling, you're not alone. The feeling of succsess and conqure but the feeling of agony and depression take over again and you can't cope. Just remember ou're not alone and prayer comes your way. Do waht ever yo uhave to do, post, chat, talk, what ever. Please, I know things will get better, just hold on to life. Hold on tight.
  #9  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 01:19 PM
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jmo531 jmo531 is offline
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http://psychcentral.com/psypsych/Pure_Obsessional_OCD


Please read that Comp. I know I have talked to you a little about this. Hopefully this can answer any questions that you have. Take care.


Much love,


Jen
  #10  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 06:42 PM
complic8d's Avatar
complic8d complic8d is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2005
Location: state of desperation
Posts: 799
Thank you so much for the supportive replies. It hurts to know that others understand because they have been, or are there, too. But it helps to know that I am not the only one struggling with this. HUGS to all!

Jen, thanks for the link. I went to the site at the bottom of the article, and I can definitely see myself in the Pure-O type, but more closely seem to match the Responsibility OC type. I am driven by guilt, it's what motivates me. I can't even imagine doing the CBT stuff, how horrifying. I hope you are finding some answers. Love ya, and thanks.
__________________
complic8d

"Don't say I'm out of touch
with this rampant chaos-your reality
I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape."
♥evanescence♥
  #11  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 06:55 PM
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jmo531 jmo531 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,600
((((((((((((((((((comp))))))))))))))))))))))
  #12  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 07:43 PM
SS8282 SS8282 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,167
(((((((((((comp))))))))))) I understand, been there many times myself. Please take care.
  #13  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 08:34 PM
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(JD) (JD) is offline
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Location: Coram Deo
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(((((Comp))))))) yes unfortunately many of us do understand because of experience. One thing I think I have learned is that I don't need to run away... even though I often want to... because 1) I live alone in my own house 2) I am safest at home where I know everything about my surroundings 3) my dog is here with me, my best "friend" 4) if I ran away, I would just have to come back for sessions with my psychologist 5) running away would put me into an environment that not only would I not know it, but they wouldn't know me at least here, if something were to happen, the police know I'm a resident. 6) I will be the same person (depressed, disabled) whether I'm here or another place sigh.

It doesn't take the feeling of the need for "flight" but if I can run those thoughts through my brain, I can feel better about not fleeing...

TC
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Not again??? (trigger)
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  #14  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 08:42 PM
complic8d's Avatar
complic8d complic8d is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2005
Location: state of desperation
Posts: 799
Sky- I'm glad you can think yourself past those thoughts! To quote from a song by Switchfoot, "where can you run to escape from yourself?", I guess I'm not going anywhere. I wish I could, but I guess I need to learn how to cope with the thoughts and deal with "things" to get past them. Thanks and HUGS!
__________________
complic8d

"Don't say I'm out of touch
with this rampant chaos-your reality
I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape."
♥evanescence♥
  #15  
Old Jun 15, 2005, 08:45 PM
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(JD) (JD) is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
yw ((((hugs back))))) as for the... permanent leaving?.... I'm still working on changing those feelings and thoughts. T is active for me on them. There's so many parameters, it would take a huge thread to cover them imo.

As for "triggering" yourself... nah... you are just trying out things to try and put your life back together as it was. Learning what is still there for you, and what you need to change is a tough lesson.

TC Not again??? (trigger)
__________________
Not again??? (trigger)
Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE
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