[bren]

Like my title said, it has been a really long hard week.
I was admitted into the mental health unit, for the 14th time last thursday, and got out yesterday.

Luckily I have been through this so many times, I know when I am going to crash, and I reached out for help. I walked two blocks, in kind of a daze, to the cop shop, handed them a bag of meds, and started sobbing. The cop took me to the local ER, where a small town doc, and his infanate wisdom called somebody from CMH. The Jerk, that I had a run in before with, came in and pretended to care for five minutes, then sent me to the unit. I normally get sent 40 miles away, to the nearest unit, but this time that particular hospital was full, so they sent me to a hospital, and town, 150 miles away. TALK ABOUT FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!! I didn't even know where I was!!!!!
I started out at 11pm, and finally was admitted at 6am. It is a good thing that I work midnights and am used to being awake at that time.
I have been in the hospital not far from here 13 times before, but never in my life did I expect what was next in this place.

When we got there, I asked if my husband could at least walk me down to my room...Mind you, I was sobbing, hysterically ... They said "No, you have to say good bye right here." Heaven forbid that they give me a MOMENT of privacy to apologize to him, or to kiss and hug him. I was not asking for him to stay, just to walk with us in order to reassure me. No explanation of why he couldn't, just a very rude in tone, NO!
Once we went to my room, the so called nurse slammed the door, and told me to strip. "STRIP!!!????!!! For what? I have never been strip searched in my life." My hysteria went from bad to worse!
She did not take no for an answer, even though I told her, half way through taking my clothing off in front of a total stranger that was really mean, I was having flashbacks of being molested. She finally gave me a gown to put on, and that was when I noticed the camera up by the ceiling.
"IS THAT A (*%^()@ CAMERA?" I yelled at her.
"Yes it is."
That is all she said, and then quickly left the room, leaving me feeling like I had just been raped or something. Sure she never touched me, but I felt bad already and she just made me feel dirty. I didn't even know where the bathroom was so I could puke.
Come to find out, the camera went to a monitor at the desk, where anybody in the unit, male or female, patients or staff, could see exactly what was going on in my room. I also found out, that my bathroom was right next door, and she very well could have done her search there, where there were no cameras. I was extremely ticked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although I was ticked, that is not why I was in the hospital. I still had a lot of issues, and I didn't really know what to do with this.
By the end of the week, I felt a lot better, and just before I left, I spoke with the patient's rights advocate.
She agreed that this was NOT right at all, and she started an investigation. I am going to call her tomorrow, and every other day, until I am satisfied. I went to the hospital for help, and ended up feeling like I had to be guarded, hence I could not get full benifits of hospitalization. I could not talk to anybody about it because I did not know who would side with her, and take things out on me. I have had several nightmares about this, and I am still trying to figure it out. This has become my new problem. I got nothing from the hospitalization, except screwed up more than I already was. I am sooooooooooo sick about this.

bren

[dayzee9]

((((((((((((((bren))))))))))))))))!!!!

I have no idea who you are; but your story did "trigger" me to one of my more "desperate times" when just to get some damn help, I pulled a knife on my very "unfeeling, inconsiderate" T I had at the time...I just told him to get me help!!!I WAS SO DESPERATE for someone to really listen to what I was saying! The city police properly showed up, kicked me face down on the concrete (I wasn't even resisting!) Handcuffed my hands AND ankles together behind me & then tied them together and threw me in back of the car & I was taken to the state mental institution. I was carried in, hog-tied like the "prize pig roast", thrown on a cold mattress in a cold bare room w/ cameras, had all of my clothes ripped off me by male orderly's (talk about flashbacks!!! )
I was left naked, curled in a fetal position, facing away from the camera's........sometime during the night one of the female orderly's tossed in a thin sheet............I just wanted someone to listen....to care.....
Jeez, Bren....

Man, I hope you get even w/ these....no, "getting even" is a child's game.... Are you o.k?? What's going on now? Talk to us, bren.....we WILL listen and really CARE to "boot" Please hold on, bren.....as they ramble on the tube..."I can feel your pain!" and I am so sorry that you had to endure those cold, inhumane tactics when all you wanted was some help........

Please be o.k.?! ((((hugs!))))

Peace to you, DAYZEE9

[bren]

I did file a complaint with the patient advocate so right now I am just waiting to hear from them. I have a counseling appointment on monday, and will talk further with him, but I also am friends with our local prosecuter, and I am sure she will advise me on what to do if the hospital does not take care of the problems with what is going on there. She can't prosecute because of her juristiction, but she can tell me if I need a lawyer. I plan on calling her tomorrow, just to see what she says.

Bren

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((Bren)))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry this happened to you.

[dayzee9]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((bren ))))))))))))))))

So glad you're calling that treatment to the proper "authorites" attention!!

What you were subjected to is unexcusable; I went into psych nursing b/c I wanted to help "make a change" -- give back... But when I "got there" I couldn't give my pts what they REALLY needed... I got chewed out constantly for actually "spending too much time" w/ my pts!! And isolation units went from bad to worse.......couldn't do it.....I argued about the rapidly vanishing "patient-nurse relationship" to the Big Heads....but.......gone

That's why I'm "unemployed" I stand by my ethics & from being both sides of the desk...I know patient rights!! GO FOR IT, BREN!!

Hang tight, my dear & STAND UP for your rights! You a human being.....NOT a diagnosis! PM me if you feel like it...I listen & "can feel for ya"

Bren,

Peace, DAYZEE9

[bren]

since I got out of the hospital, I have been trying to get a hold of the p-doc, and also the patient advocate. I can't get a hold of either, and it is getting really irritating.
I want the advocate to send me any and all the info she aquired in her investigation, so we, my hubby and I, can decide if we want to go further. I just keep leaving messages on her voice mail.
The P-doc put me on Geodon, and right from the very beginning, I didn't like it, but now I am having toooooooo many side effects from it. I am shaking fron one end of my body to the other, inside and out. I am OVER IT!!!!! I can't get a hold of the P-doc, My regular doc won't change it without the P-doc's approval, and now they are telling me that I have to go through the P-doc at CMH, who is on vacatoin for another week. I am just about ready to all my meds in the trash, and say &*() it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been so down yesterday and today, it scares me. I am so afraid I am headed for another crash, and I just got out of the hospital. This totally SUCKS!

[darkeyes]

Bren,
This is all so horrible, I was allowed to have my husband come with me and do all the necessary paperwork, I had signed myself in though, was not sent in, so I do not know if that matters, it shouldn't, I feel you should of been allowed to have a brief period with your husband.
That was wrong, and what was really a nightmare is what you told us about the strip search thing, that is absolutly horrible.
I think it is good you are persuing this, filing a complaint, and I wish you lots of luck with this.
I really hope someone makes them pay in some form for the emotional damages they caused you, not that it will erase it all but just the satisfaction that they will be made to answer to someone in a higher position than them, helps a tad.
Please take care,

DE


(((((((((((((( Bren ))))))))))))))

[wisewoman]

I am with D.E. on this. What happened to you was abuse from someone who had power. My understanding of the patient advocates is that they work for the hospital. Have you considered calling the disability law Project or an advocacy group for mental health? Also, I recently made a complaint to a local hospital about how a client was treated and it was dealt with very well. I called the vice pres of the hospital. Good luck.

[darkeyes]

That's great I admire those who stand up, invest their time and energy to help "right the wrongs", many kudos to you
I'd like if anyone knows of agencies to bring such complaints like this to or what steps to take when persuing such situations, it would be most helpful to our members to have a source for direction.
Thank you so very, very, much for these posts.

DE

((((((((((((((( Wise )))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((( Bren )))))))))))))))
((((((( and to those who are hurting and frustrated )))))

[(JD)]

((((Bren)))) Imo you really have to do all this in writing, and keep copies and sometimes even send it certified mail. Remember, to them it may cost money in the long run... the longer the run the less likely they will have to make amends... TC

[bren]

Thanks for the words of encouragements. I too was admitted voluntarily. The reason they sent me to that particular hospital, is because there isn't a psych unit here, and the closest one about 40 miles, was fullllll.