RE: Sky RE: "I have a feeling I am crazy"

I can see what you mean by that, however, everybodies mind is different and everybody is influanced in a different way to different events due to their own personal psychological structure. And by that I mean that yes I know the ways to get rid of depression and how it works for most people, unfortunatly, I found myself to be a little different.

See, I am a person who wants answers, and to be more specific, i am desperate for answers, and I do not know why, therefore, I blame the mind, simply because it is the program, which set us to what psychologicaly like and dislike. And since that is one of it's functions, and I dislike "being left in the dark" with no truth, which I desire, it must be the mind that desires the answers. Sure, I may satisfy my other needs of joy as much as I can, but this one thing that is very difficult and I am only left with theories, which are who knows true or false. And by not satisfying what the mind is programed us to do, we come into depression. And depression is simply a state when the mind is telling you "I do not like the way you live your life." And ofcource it can not tell you how to change, you figure that out yourself, by analizing your own behavior.

The mind is not a one whole thing. It is divided into different groups and many are barely related to each other. Now there are theories that there is one center that gathers all the information, scores it up, and presents the outcome, such as emotion, or mood and so on. And by stating this I mean to say that I do not see things only in black and white catagories, it is only for this subject that is nesseccery, because when talking about moods, and moods are pretty much all the events that happened around youm averaged out into whether your mind likes it or not. And whether you are happy or depressed, and ofcource there are different stage of that.

No doubt that there are many different events and emotions that effect the mood. Sad is not nesseccerly negative, but it could be. Smiling does not always represent happiness and so on. It is simply the out come, which is your mood, that is what's black and white.

Now, a lot of what you say is true, but when you say positive thinking, I hope that you did not apply that thinking all by itself ever helped a situation like this. By positive thinking, I believe you meant of thought such as, what can I do to get what the mind desires to prevent this depression. And if I know i can not get that, I would have to spend maybe more time to get something that I desire less, and live with that.

That theory might have worked a couple decades ago, however, there is a lot of stress involved in todays society, and spending more time entertaining youself for some would mean to lower their work presure. And that creates a problem. My mind tells me that I must do well in school, it also tells that I do not enjoy school a lot, but I can handle it by itself. Now it also tells me to become not only more intellegent but also wiser. So I keep wondering about stuff and thinking through it. And it turns out that that is not enough for it. It wants the answers not just the theories, because I know I would be happier if I could somehow prove ny theories, and because I can't, it creates a lot of stress. And there is also the stress of school. As a result I often go bonkers and go into depression.

And to get away from that state I must do what I want and since i can't hit the big entertainer (the true answers) I go for the smaller ones that take more time like tv, movies, and so on. And because I want to do well in school, I have a real problem managing my time. I simply do not get enough time off. I am just thankful it is summer.

Depression is caused by mental/emotional stress. And since i can see how it is very hard for me to manage it, I wish very often that my mind could handle stress much better, if I could be a "work-aholic" and enjoy school stress, not just the results of my work, but the work itself. And this is one thing that is different about me than most people is that for some reason I so desperate to get the answers, and since I can't I become depressed.

My only solution so far is to simply try not to think a lot about it, but for me it definatly is much harded than it seems. I like to think of myself as a person who knows what he wants in life and how to get it. well, that statement is true for most of me, except that one little thing, I know I want it, but I can't get it.

will anyone reply?

Alex,

I will reply to this when I get some sleep. I wanted you to know that I have read it and I will reply. OK. Hang in there.

thx

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alex_D said:
Depression is caused by mental/emotional stress. And since i can see how it is very hard for me to manage it, I wish very often that my mind could handle stress much better, if I could be a "work-aholic" and enjoy school stress, not just the results of my work, but the work itself. And this is one thing that is different about me than most people is that for some reason I so desperate to get the answers, and since I can't I become depressed.

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I wish it was that easy - I can throw myself into work wholeheartedly, but eventually I'll end up w/an hour of downtime, and I still just want to crawl under my desk & sob into my hands. It does give you a broader scope of people to snap at, though. In a way, work has made it easier for me to avoid 'the real world' - no family get-togethers because I'm working, no social engagements because I'm working, no Friday nights out on the town because - I'm at work, on graveyard shift... I always pick shifts that will ensure that I'm working on holidays & other people's birthdays, and since I'm technically the department head, I can't just take a day off because I feel like it. And my job has been more than helpful in refusing to let me train more people so I have relief coverage.

When I went to the psychologist today, there was a brief questionnaire on drug use... I almost filled in all the blanks w/'work'. It's true - it's robbed me of my social life, it's interfering w/my relationship w/my husband, makes me lose sleep & when I go without it for more than 2 or 3 days I start going out of my mind. The only thing about it is in the U.S., no one will ever spring an intervention on me - and unlike drugs, work doesn't exactly drain the bank account. Ulcer medication & sleep aids, on the other hand, do.

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alex_D said:depression is simply a state when the mind is telling you "I do not like the way you live your life." And ofcource it can not tell you how to change, you figure that out yourself, by analizing your own behavior.</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>


See I do not agree with this statement. I do not beleive that depression is a choice. At times I think that depression is enhanced due to certain situations in ones life but I beleive that depression is a chemical imbalance. I think that someone who suffers from depression reading that could be a little insulted. I wish it were a choice. I think that analyzing things over and over in your mind, pondering for answers will cause more frustration. Sometimes answers are that easy to come by. It takes time, thought and sometimes things can not be explained in BLACK and WHITE terms. Learing to relax, and not to expect or have such high demands for yourself is something that I have had to learn to implement in my own life. Maybe this is something you need to work on as well. I used to become very impatient with myself, very frustraited wanting to know why this was happening to me. I mask my feelings behind work so often that when I had no choice nut to face myself, I was lost. Totally lost.

I dont know if my reply is what you mean or the answer or feedback your looking for. This is just my interpretation of that particular statement in your post.

Take care.


Jen

Hey Alex,

You seem to be a bit like me.... always questions but seem to find no answers! Very frustrating and depressing. Humans have been around for how long??--- hasn't it been long enough to have all the answers??--- let me say-- there will always be unanswered questions as long as there are humans with questions.

I've been advised that I " think too much "--( by my therapist) is that such a bad thing?? I suppose it can be when it hinders a person's mental health. If it gets to the point where depression sets in... that's when it's time to take life more lightly..... just how does someone shut off the thinking and take life easier??

One suggestion to try:
Look through the eyes of a child... (k.i.s.s.--- meaning-- Keep It Simple Stupid)
When thoughts get overwhelming for me I try to go into the child's mind.... admiring the new bud that's about to bloom on the rose bush as if seeing it for the first time, watching the ants struggle---carrying a fly's wing back to the ant hill, the bird in flight diving at the sporadic fluttering moth..... when you look at all that--- just how do we rate in all those lives??? Does any of it even realize we exist?

Yes, movies, TV and reading can be an escape also-- but there's something different to looking through life with child's eyes! It never fails in lifting my spirits! It is just a distraction-- but sometimes, that's just what was needed.

Hope you enjoy your summer and-- take a " thinking break" !!

Mandy

thx for the advice. I know what u mean by being a child, I sometimes tend to act amaturely but not because I choose to however. Anyway, I did not really get a straight answer from anybody yet. And i did not really expect one, only because I would have found it myself. But because I could not find a good way to treat this problem i seeked help on this site. And therapy is a bit expensive so I try to help myself by reading psychology. Anyway, thx for the help guys.