Journaling

I keep an online journal, mainly because for some reason the idea that I might get feedback actually encourages me to write more often... so I was reading my old posts, and it was strange to me how I always noted the days when I felt what I call that 'deep blue wave of melancholy' rushing over me, but I never pinpoint days when I feel less depressed.

I don't know if it's because those beginnings are so much more profound, or if it's because feeling better is a more gradual process.

It's also kind of scary how the episodes of the blues have increased... two years ago there was one in six months, last year there were five over the course of the year... and the last one, in December of last year has never really gone away - in fact, since March, it's gotten worse.

So I cut 'n pasted all my journal entries onto my hard-drive, just in case my new therapist wants to see them. I don't really know if she even will, but the therapists I had as a teenager always encouraged journaling & would occasionally review them & use them as discussion topics during sessions.

Journaling is an excellent tool for tracking how we are feeling. I have journaled for over 20 years ! Your T may or may not want to read it - but at least you can tell him/her about the time frames. I have ALWAYS made myself put at least ONE positive thing in every day, even if it is just that I got the dishes done before I left for work, or that I watched a hummingbird on my feeder. Perhaps you can start adding at least one good feeling, thought, action, etc as you journal. Sometimes it helps to stop the more depressive thinking process......and rereading it might show you have progressed more than you are able to recall. Good luck !