I really hate myself today.

Does anyone have any good self-esteem boosters for a fat elephant with nothing worthwhile to contribute to society?

Thanks.

Two other posts in this forum got responded to since I posted this, and mine got skipped over. I also posted something in the PTSD forum that I've been up all night watching for responses to, and nobody has said a word.

Wow. Does anybody care if I live or die? (No, I'm not going to make myself die.)

f course we care but I think it's a bit slow during the day here. I'm sorry you hate yourself. We're always told not to hate people and its a sin and so on - but it seems so easy for us to say we hate ourselves. You mentioned your weight - do you want to lose weight? Do you have any physical limitations where you can't exercise?

Yes, I was disabled in a car accident. I'm also severely diabetic, and not losing significant weight in spite of every effort. I've been told I qualify for weight loss surgery, and I'm going to request it.

And I hate myself because of years of being told by people who are supposed to matter to me, that I am fat, ugly, worthless, stupid, you name it.

If you qualify for the surgery, then I think you should go for it as long as the doctor agrees. I heard though it's very important to deal with the psychological issues around weight. If they don't, then even when they lose the weight, they still feel overweight inside. Weight is two fold -psychological and physical.

I think it's very sad that your family teased you about your weight. Our homes are supposed to be a safe haven. I assume you can't do the standard exercise - how about water aerobics? Can you manage walking? -sorry I don't know if you're wheel chair bound or not.

Hi, LovebirdsFlying!

• Grandmother
• Homemaker
• Writer (book in progress)
• Onomastician (the personal names thing)

Granted you feel you have nothing worthwhile to contribute to society, a feeling reinforced regularly by people close to you, I find it difficult to see you as someone who actually doesn't contribute to society.

By no means am I challenging the reality and pain of your feelings. When I feel, or allow myself to feel, it feels bad. I regret you have these feelings of worthlessness. Unfortunately, I have no self-esteem boosters to offer. The only thing that works for me is focus away from myself entirely and not even think about self-esteem at all.

Keep posting. Someone here will have better words for you.

Hello, LovebirdsFlying. Do you have a psychiatrist and therapist? You need help. Please get it.

Go through these and challenge every negative thing you have been told or believe:http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sel...9/METHOD=print

Please keep on posting so we know how you are doing.

LovebirdsFlying,
Hey, sorry u feel so bad. I know it sucks.
See if this helps. "Would u treat someone the way others treat u?" Probably not so treat yourself like a really good friend would treat you. Don't beat yourself up even though others do. Take care.

Hey Lovebird,
Im thin as a rail and still feel the same ways you do alot of the time. I think alot of what you are feeling is chemical/emotional. I'd take "big as an elephant" anyday if it meant being happy. Work on your inner self, your heart and the ability to receive love, including loving yourself. I spent the year 2009 learning to accept love, not from men or anything like that, but from myself, and others. Progress was slow but I have moved that wall I built up forward a little...... I think elephants are cute!!!!!!!

I really appreciate everybody's comebacks. Sorry about being so whiny when answers don't come fast enough; I'm going to have to learn to rely on resources other than a message board when I'm in need of immediate feedback.

My husband gave me a good message. I told him I was raised to respect my elders, and that's why I take what they said to me so seriously. He answered, "You're an elder now too, so respect yourself."

Byz, thanks for the link. I do have a therapist, but I didn't know where to turn in the middle of the night. I am familiar with cognitive therapy, but Dr. Burns only did 10 cognitive distortions. The other 5 are new to me. So I'm off to study it right now.

Keep working it, LovebirdsFlying.

((LovebirdsFlying)) don't worry about being whiny - glad to help. I hope you're having a better day today.

Dear Lovebirds Flying--ooh, those terrible dark nights of the soul when you need help right NOW and there's no help in sight!

Your husband sounds like a kind man--I'm so glad you're not being verbally abused by him at least.

Hang in there--you sound very smart, so I know you'll find something to help get you through this rough patch. To me, the most beautiful human being is one in whose eyes I can see pain that has turned to compassion for others---Please love yourself

I'm sorry I can't really think of some self esteem boosters. If I knew I would prob attempt them myself (ok I'm lying I probably wouldn't).

I did read recently about gardening. Just little things that you enjoy basically, something to 'do', so you feel like you haven't wasted the day. I'm sorry I can't elaborate.

I'm sure you DO have lots to offer, though, that's just the low self esteem talking... you can't see you for who you really are.

Oh and I relate so much to you, worrying when nobody replies, or it takes forever. You start thinking "it's me".. *hugs* x

U can do it. Book call selfesteeme helped me. A therapist could help. You r luvable and worth while I hope u discover this sooner than later.
From blkberry moble device