[tryingtobeme]

Using trigger only b/c of my feelings that I put here.

Sorry all for posting this. I've been very needy lately. I'm ready to cry, just sit and cry, cry, cry, till there isn't anymore. I have to try and be strong for my son and not let him see me like that. I can't breakdown, I have to much to do....

IRL, I feel the people that I thought were going to be there for me, all just leave. I can't get anyone to come help my son while I try and get back to myself.

I really hate these days when I feel so helpless and all I want is someone to be here...meaning in my irl, in person for me.

I don't even know what to say. I feel so dead inside...so drained...gone...so numb physically, emotionally feeling every little hurt, sadness, deep seeded wound.

where am I to go....I don't really know...don't even know who to really turn to...maybe I shouldn't even be turning here, but I feel it is all I got left.

[Cthomas]

You and I have so many of the same feelings ....I feel the same way!

Hope you can get some peace this weekend. Hope I can too. Will be alone this weekend for the first time in about 17 years.

Take care,

See you around here.....

C

[Lisa Michelle]

I'm sorry you don't have anyone in real life to help you out right now, that must be hard.
I agree you shouldn't cry infront of your son, but don't always hold it in, when you know he's not around, let it out. Crying releases stress hormones, you actually might just need a good old cry!

Do you have any friends or family who you could ask to help? Perhaps people don't know how much you are struggling?

x

[tryingtobeme]

Family has disowned me b/c I am seeing a T. And the fact that I told all the family secrets that no one is supposed to talk about. My friends....well, I have been trying all week to get someone. Today is my last day of trying to get someone to help me tonight, and the next two days.

I really just want to call my T since I know I can let all my feelings out infront of him, but I don't want to burden him.

[Lisa Michelle]

If you call your T during their 'work hours' then I don't think it's burdening them. Just remember they possibly want to relax and have their own time too. But if you call when they're at work I think that's fine, don't you? My therapist always says if there are any problems or I need to talk to call her, so I'm sure that's fine for you to call yours. You're not a burden! and your T is trained and understands your issues so they can help.

Sorry to hear about your family, that is really sucky. Good on you for telling the 'secrets' anyway, because that's important for your own mental health and recovery. You don't have to keep their secrets cos you have nothing to be ashamed about.

Sorry to also hear your friends aren't being that great right now! What did you say to them when you rang them? Perhaps you need to reach out a little more, be upfront and say you need a friend right now.

If a friend called me right now and wanted to meet up, I would very possibly say no! (I've got social anxiety) but... if I knew they were struggling and needed somebody, I like to think I would make that extra effort to be there for them. It could be the same with your friends. They might just not feel like hanging out, maybe they're tired or stressed, but if they knew you needed them they'd probably be willing to meet up if they care about you.

I'm glad you can come here and talk to us, though. x

((((((((((Tryingtobeme))))))))))
Sending many hugs your way. I'm sorry that you cannot find anyone to talk to at the moment. I agree with Lisa Michelle - it wouldn't be burdening your T to contact them, especially if it's during business hours. If you aren't able to get a hold of your T or any friends, have you considered calling a Crisis Line to just talk with somebody? It can be very helpful sometimes.

And remember that we are here to listen whenever you need to talk. If you ever want to chat privately, you can also pm me anytime. Be kind to yourself during this difficult time, and try to remember that this will pass eventually. These bad feelings don't last forever.

[SophiaG]

It's hard to be a parent isnt it, with no breaks.

Is there any way you could pay for some form of child care for a few days?

[Rohag]

((((((( Tryingtobeme! )))))))

You bear many burdens. They threaten to crush you. You hold out for your son's sake. Fear of how long you can hold out is itself another burden.

My, what a fighting, courageous mother your son has! Someday, may he have an appreciation of that.

[susan888]

((Tryingtobeme))

Call your T (that's why you have one and you are NOT a burden for asking for help)....Get a shower and cry until you can't cry any longer. There is no weakness in that.

Rohag is right. The pressure of trying to be strong for your son just adds to the burden. Someone needs to be there just for you..you will be better for him then.

Let yourself cry...call your T...Get the poison out.

Sending you good thoughts tonight and a wish for peace of mind and peace of soul and comfort for the little boy you love so much. There should be more Moms like you in this world.

[angelbud]

I feel for you with what you and your son are going through. I hope it helps you to know there are people on here who are caring and thinking about you. Look after yourself.

Have you told your treatment team about what you are going through. It does not seem like the treatment you are receiving is working. Maybe you need to ask about other options to help you get better?

Good luck, friend.

[VeronicaPI]

I too seem to get in these down times where I just don't feel at all. I have had depression for many years, but only diagnosed 6 years ago. Right now I feel like no matter what I do I am not happy. My husband is not there for me, I want to move away, but I can't leave my job. I want to feel again. Feel like I am someone who has a life. When I get like this I start back in therapy. Looks like I will have to break down and do that this week. In all reality I would like to just live alone, go to work and the heck with everyone else. veronicapi